[ SECRET POST #4302 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4302 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 39 secrets from Secret Submission Post #616.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

Please reply to this post to ask your question so that this thread can collapse easier. Thank you.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

I have frequent paranoid worries that people who know me either are currently or will one day be laughing behind my back that I'm a total lunatic. I am aware I am crazy. And I try my best to be a good person in spite of it.

But still I'm haunted by mental images of former writing partners, fandom friends and former classmates joking and laughing about how I'm totally insane and a mess.

How do I make it stop?

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

I’ve never managed to; most of the time I just tell myself I’m not important/memorable enough to mock and people have better things to do. If I’m having a bad paranoia day I just tell myself mockery sucks, I’ve been mocked to my face and it felt like dying—but it’s not the end of the world. If I was imagining three-letter-agency guys coming to take me away, like my dad used to, I’d be more worried.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry *hug*

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

Most people are sympathetic to those who struggle with health issues, physical or mental, especially if they know the person. Those who aren't, tend to lack empathy, which means that they will probably never really understand anyone else, so I don't think their opinions of you as a person are worth worrying over.

You said you try to be a good person, would you laugh at someone else in a similar situation? I don't think so. Try to remember that most people do try to be good, too. Try to be kind to yourself and assume that all the people who know you or knew you like you and want you to be happy.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks *hug*

I would never dream of laughing or making fun of someone for having a mental illness. And when I'm more rational I remember that my current friends wouldn't either.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

If this has happened to you, I'm very sorry you had to go through that and I could understand why it'd be on your mind. I think the best thing to do is continue trying to be a good person, but also carefully cultivate the friendships you have now. Choosing people who are kind and reliable and empathetic might help you feel more secure about their behavior when you're not around.

But if this hasn't actually happened to you and you're worrying about it a disproportionate amount, it sounds like you might be doing this:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-catastrophizing/

It's really common for people to get caught up in this mental shame spiral. Being aware of it and interrupting it before you get dragged down will help break the habit. If you find yourself unable to break out of it, it might be time to talk to a doctor about medication and therapy.

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for the link, it was helpful.

I have a doctor I was just ashamed to bring this up with them because I felt that it would be too silly for them to bother with. But I think I will try now.

Re: Advice thread

[mudousetsuna]

All the advice here is good, but in my own experience, trying to be a people pleaser and wanting desperately to be liked is where this kind of paranoia comes from. It's very easy to start second guessing everything you do or think or act like, especially if you've had a rough time. After I had a falling out with a super close friend, and it caused stress between me and another close friend, I think it took a few years for me to reach a point where I felt confident in myself, but it was also eye opening. You gotta start making your choices with the mindset that you are doing your best, you are genuinely invested in what you believe, and if somebody is going to be mean or dislike you for it, they are not worth your time. Do that, and you will start to discover who your true friends are. It will vary from person to person, but I genuinely believe you are only hurting yourself when you invest too much time in trying to live up to others expectations at the expense of your own mental health.

There is nothing wrong with you for being paranoid. It's okay and I think it's a normal function that sometimes grows out of control for us due to our experiences or our chemical makeup, but you can overcome it. I believe in you! *HUGS*

Re: Advice thread

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you *hugs back*