fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4385 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4385 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Detroit: Become Human]

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03.

(Timeless)

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04.

[Ben from Simply Nailogical and Rich Evans from Red Letter Media]

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05.

(Netflix's Dumplin')

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06.

[Criminal Minds, season 3 episode 7 "Identity"]

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07.

[The Lion King (2019)]

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08.

[Thomas Middleditch]

Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's perfectly legal but I'd wonder what was wrong with men around her own age (and ditto if the man was older in the equation).

Same. Yeah, it's legal, but I do feel like...I don't know how to put this nicely. Not that there's something necessarily *wrong* with someone who wants to be with someone who is much older/younger than them, but...I think there's most likely something...off in the situation.

I mean, when people are younger, sure. If we're talking a 20-year-old getting with a 36-year-old, absolutely, it's fair to ask "what's wrong."

But there's something that happens once you get to be around 30. There start to be much, much fewer differences between you and people who are older than you, because all of you have brains that have stopped developing, and all of you are going through similar things in life. You're all working. You've all got some kind of housing payment. You're all loaded down with responsibilities. You all have at least some idea of who you are, what you like, what you want, and where you're headed. Suddenly, gaps less than 25-30 years don't feel noticeable.

In other words, many people reach a point in their life where "my own age" is a category that legitimately spans 20 years. There isn't something wrong with them; it's that that person 16 years younger/older than them actually is, at that point, a peer.

Hmmm. I never thought about it that way. Maybe that's why my uncle described himself and my aunt as the same age even though he's four years older. My thought when he said it was "wtf, no you're not, you're four years older than her, that's not the same age". Maybe I just don't get it because I'm not at that point yet.

Yeah, it's kind of hard to explain. I'm in my mid-30s; my friends run the gamut in ages from 30 to 55, and when in a group setting, everyone just feels...the same. And like your aunt and uncle, there's a four-year difference between my husband and I, but we often forget there's any difference at all.

Actually, that's another weird thing that starts to happen to many people: they start "forgetting" their own age, because in many contexts, it just doesn't matter anymore. When asked, they have to sit for a moment and think about it. I've had it happen to myself a couple of times.

I'd guess the issue is that a lot of single men in their 50s aren't looking for female partners in their 50s, they're looking for women who are 10+ years younger at least.

So what?

I wouldn't unless it was a pattern, and even then, not really my business.

[ SECRET POST #4385 ]

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