[ SECRET POST #4394 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4394 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #629.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

advice

[(Anonymous)]

ask it if you got it.

maybe TMI - health stuff

[(Anonymous)]

I am 99% sure I have a bartholin cyst. I get them pretty regularly before my period.

One of the ways to treat it is "To take up to four baths in warm water." I can't do that four times a day. I do have a heating pad. But I can't figure out the easiest way to do that. I would really prefer not to get my vag all up on the heating pad for when I use it later. Guess I could just go pantless?

Re: maybe TMI - health stuff

[(Anonymous)]

Soak a small towel or cloth in some warm water and put that on the area for a few minutes. Maybe sit on a towel so you don't get anything else wet.

Re: maybe TMI - health stuff

[tabaqui]

You could get a second heating pad and use it *just* for that (one with a washable cover).

Or! Slightly dampen a hand towel and microwave it for a couple minutes. It'll get really warm, and you can then position that accordingly. Or a washcloth if hand towel is too big.

Buy an old-fashioned hot-water bottle (they're usually rubbery or vinyl-like, so easy to clean off) and/or make your own with an empty water bottle.

Good luck! Hope it feels better soon.

Re: maybe TMI - health stuff

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe look for reusable heat packs/hand warmers. They're plastic and filled with gel that can be heated in the microwave.

Poor appetite help?

[(Anonymous)]

How do you motivate yourself to eat when you don't feel like it?

(I'm aware that it's not a very common problem so it's fine if nobody has any advice but please no "I wish I had that problem". I really struggle to maintain weight and my health suffers for it.)

Re: Poor appetite help?

[(Anonymous)]

Set reminders on your phone. Or get an app that lets you set goals. Always have snacks around.

Re: Poor appetite help?

[(Anonymous)]

I have to make it more like a game when I need to do this or I wind up resentful.

Re: Poor appetite help?

[(Anonymous)]

Juice, smoothies, protein shakes, w/e. You still gotta drink something, so might as well add food.

Re: Poor appetite help?

[(Anonymous)]

When my aunt was undergoing chemo, she kept a bunch of Ensure on hand. Likewise, maybe smoothies with plenty of fruit, leafy greens and maybe yogurt or almond milk?

Another possibility is to just graze instead of eating a full meal - cheese, crackers, nuts, sliced veggies and hummus and just eat a few bites now and then.

Re: Poor appetite help?

[tabaqui]

Small packets of high-protein snacks you can bring with you/set by you in bed or the couch or wherever, so there's no effort to reach out and have a little bite.

Re: Poor appetite help?

[(Anonymous)]

I think that would depend in part on why you don't feel like it. Do you just forget, or is there some sort of health issue involved that makes eating unpleasant for you?

Re: Poor appetite help?

[(Anonymous)]

Keep snacks on hand, even if it’s just a granola bar in your pocket for times that you’re busy. Do like some dieters do and reward yourself, except instead of rewarding yourself for not eating or eating super healthy, reward yourself for eating, whether that’s with a new book, a long hot bath, going to see a movie—whatever you think might motivate you.

Re: Poor appetite help?

[(Anonymous)]

I’ve actually been having a similar problem. The only thing that has been keeping me eating is that my partner and I always have dinner together, and I feel compelled to eat as a social activity. I also will eat when hanging out with friends. This probably isn’t the best tip but it is what I have.

Re: Poor appetite help?

[bur]

Snacks RIGHT THERE is definitely helpful. I have a bit of a drainage problem, so half the time when I'm hungry by the time I get something cooked HERE COME'S DRAINAGE and it's like... ugh... who wants food now. So having something no-effort available for when the urge does strike is good.

Re: Poor appetite help?

[(Anonymous)]

There are foods out there that actually do make people want to eat more, but a lot of those aren't that great for you. Keeping food out, in sight, can help. When you see it, you can eat some. Do you like salty things? Maybe keep a bowl of nuts handy. Do you like sweet things? Maybe keep fruit right there (on your desk, on an end table, etc.). I think forcing yourself to eat too many things you don't care for will put you off eating even more, so find things you like. Or maybe look into making things you like - sometimes just putting in the effort makes you want to eat the results and the smell of something, like baking bread, can stimulate your senses and maybe your appetite.

one night stands

[(Anonymous)]

uh... how do you do them, esp as a woman?

i'm almost 30 and i've had a singular boyfriend in my life and that was 5 years ago, never done any of that fun stuff. i kind of want to try my luck at tinder, but i have no idea what the procedure would be.

like i imagine if i just ask upfront online that might be kind of dangerous? should i go for a coffee first and then ask during the date? and do you go to the guy's or the woman's place? i again ask for safety reasons - i don't know if it isn't better if i don't let people know where i live in case i never want to see them again.
also any other considerations i should have would be appreciated.

...yea

Re: one night stands

[(Anonymous)]

https://hellogiggles.com/lifestyle/one-night-stand-safe-pleasurable/

https://www.self.com/story/one-night-stands-and-safety

https://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Successful-One-Night-Stand-(for-Women)

Re: one night stands

[(Anonymous)]

i appreciate it, but i was kind of hoping for personal experiences

Re: one night stands

[(Anonymous)]

I would love to have one of those but I've been told I'm unattractive so my chances at that are nil.

Re: one night stands

[(Anonymous)]

Tinder, honestly.

Obviously go out for a drink or something first and assess if you like them, then invite yourself back to their place or them to yours and if they're receptive, you're probably going to have sex. It doesn't matter whose place you go to. Unless you get a crazy stalker, you may be overthinking worrying about someone knowing where you live. Of course you should be upfront in your profile that you're not looking for anything serious or a relationship, you're just looking to meet people and have fun. That translates to one night stand, and the people who connect with you will likely be on the same page.

It's true that there's some risk with a one night stand with a stranger. That's definitely true. Not a bad idea to text a friend the photo and name of the person you're meeting (based on their Tinder profile or whatever) just in case, or a friend who can check in with you the next morning.

Re: one night stands

[(Anonymous)]

make sure you're on some kind of birth control, buy condoms, know how to use said condoms, get the human papillomavirus vaccine. consider buying yourself some nice sex toys instead.

Re: one night stands

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe it was just me but sometimes I felt like I was my biggest threat. It was weird to realize I could just dissociate and go along with the sketchiest of things. Denying something feels wrong doesn't make it true!

If you aren't comfortable asserting yourself, rejecting people, and basically saying "fuck politeness" when your gut is upset practice that first lol You don't owe anyone your safety or comfort. Also, you don't have to be an ass but your enjoyment is your priority in a one night stand, you ain't doing it for your health lmao

I gotta be honest, as a woman the odds are good to gamble on a guy being open to the idea but not expecting it so feel free to scope a dude out before deciding. You don't have to go into the date with your mind made up. And lbr, practice does make perfect so if the first one is awkward or a bust you can just try again.

Is it lying to pretend I don't hate existence?

[(Anonymous)]

Like, to my boyfriend and my family, etc. I'm not hopeful for the future but I can believe maybe it will get better someday. I'm working towards goals I don't believe I'll ever really accomplish or want the end goal really. Am I lying and leading people on to act like I'm working towards a future when all I'm really doing is killing time until nature takes me on the off chance my psychiatrist and therapist can make me feel some kinda other way before then.

Re: Is it lying to pretend I don't hate existence?

[(Anonymous)]

Don't lie about it to your therapist.

Anyone else... I think it's good to be as honest as possible in general, but I also think it's really hard to frame an opinion like this in a way that's useful to talk about, because opinions like that are usually so influenced by the layers of mental health issues and self-loathing and shit that there's no useful way to actually communicate what's in your head. So, I think, if it comes up, try and frame it as a result of mental health, and as a way that you feel sometimes, and not as something that you think is the actual existential truth. I guess.