[ SECRET POST #4625 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4625 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Star Trek: Enterprise]


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[Horatio Hornblower]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 15 secrets from Secret Submission Post #662.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with that, anon. I have a friend who got married when she was twenty and her husband sounds similar to yours. She married him after knowing him for a few months and decided to get hitched because she thought she'd never find anyone better and wanted children. She has a beautiful little girl, but never finished college and, despite working more hours than her husband, she does the vast majority of the housework and child-rearing. Apparently, he's never changed his daughter's diaper or given her a bath. He just wants to do the "fun" parenting. I know it drives her insane because she vents all her frustrations out to me, but I honestly don't know what advice to give her. I did suggest maybe couples therapy, but she shot that down on the grounds that he'd refuse to go.

I will say that, out of all my married friends, she seems to be the only one who has such extreme problems with her spouse. My other friends do have little complaints about their husbands, but from what they've said, it sounds like they all pull their own weight and don't expect to be waited on hand and foot. They all got married way later than my other friend though.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Apparently, he's never changed his daughter's diaper or given her a bath.

Yeeeeeeeah, that's bullshit, right there. No way would I let any husband of mine get a pass on that. God, my dad did that for me and my sister, and this was back in the '80s. I remember my mom talking about how her co-workers seemed genuinely surprised that my dad helped out with me and my sister, because that just wasn't what guys did. My mom was like, "Well, he's their DAD, so...".

I'm sorry your friend's having so much stress with her husband. I hope she does find a solution to her problems with him, and hopefully he'll grow up and do his part, too. I'm going to be 35 in about a month and I'm not married, but if I ever do get married, I definitely want a relationship like the sort you mention your other friends having.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[philstar22]

Yup. I have a lot of issues with my dad, but this is not one of them. He always carried his share of the load. They split things fairly evenly. And, in fact, while my dad was in seminary and my mom was working full time plus to support us all, he was actually doing most of the house stuff and taking care of us. They still split the chores fairly evenly.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt - Ugh, that's awful and I'm so sorry for your friend. It sounds like she married a real asshole. I'm not sure couples therapy can fix that, though.

Mine isn't that bad and he doesn't expect to be waited on hand and foot, but... he doesn't seem to realize that I do bunches of little things to make his/our life easier and nicer. He doesn't. He just bulldozes through life doing stuff without giving any thought to whether or not it inconveniences anyone else. He appreciates the little things I do, but it doesn't occur to him to reciprocate most of the time. Over the years, he's gradually learned to do a few things like wash the dishes without asking, asking if I'd like a cup of tea, etc. But for th emost part he acts like he lives alone and my needs and wishes don't need to be consulted for anything. We don't have kids, for which I'm grateful because I'd probably end up doing most of the childcare, too.