[ SECRET POST #4651 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4651 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Full Out]


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03.
[Stranger Things]


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04.
[Terry Pratchett's Discworld series]


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05.
[Prodigal Son]


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06.
[Michael Sheen in Prodigal Son]



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07.
[Suspiria (2018) / The Craft]










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 29 secrets from Secret Submission Post #666.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

2019 and some people are still pretending this nonsense is real and not the uuuhh I'm not like the other boys/girls bullshit it is. Instead of telling people be yourself, do what you want and don't let your sex and gender define you, they are pushing this harmful idea of gender stereotypes that it's the NB ideology. It's sad.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

[(Anonymous)]

We are all pretending like this gender nonsense is real. We choose to do so in different ways based on our level of comfort. Don't feel like you're non-binary? OK. Don't identify that way.

Your argument is boring and, yes, transphobic.

Sincerely,
a binary trans person

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I know I'm going to sound extremely rude and phobic, but is it alright to ask you that doesn't most trans and NB intention come from shame, or somewhere similar? I don't understand, which is why I ask.
The dysphoria and unhappiness that comes with ones gender is a very serious and real matter. But isn't by supporting an unhealthy realm of thought more hurtful than trying to accept oneself for how they are born? I realize this is coming off as something close to conversion therapy which I definitely do not mean. Rather that instead of using hormones, having surgery, binding, and a number of other harmful/damaging treatments, it's more healthy to accept what gender you have is based on anatomy, not stereotype?
Sorry, I know I'm being horrible, but I really don't know how else to put it, and I really do want to understand.

so I wrote you this book

[(Anonymous)]

SA

Alright, I believe your intentions are good so I'll bite.

The truth is, nobody really understands gender dysphoria. In fact, even the medical guidelines that are in the DSM are incredibly vague, so it's not like I can point to any scientific studies with confidence and say "here it is! Here's where it comes from!" I drove myself crazy trying to figure it out, though.

I don't know where my dysphoria comes from. As near as I've been able to tell from personal experience, talking to others, and researching as much as possible, I believe it's a combination of biological and social factors, like lots of other things to do with the brain.

What I do know is this: I tried desperately hard to accept being a woman. In fact, I'm quite a feminine person. I joined a sorority in school. Had lots of girl friends growing up. But my experience with dysphoria was very real, profound, and painful. And it's BODILY, 100%, a visceral experience that is altogether difficult to put into words.

I felt elated the first time I passed as a boy, and my thought experiment (that I tell others to replicate if they're thinking of physical transition) was "if everyone I ever knew were dead and I were totally alone on the planet, what would I do? Who would I be?" And I knew I would want to transition.

Which made me go, "Oh, shit." Not only because it's really inconvenient to be a guy without a dick but also because I'm not a huge fan of dudes.

What I found for myself, eventually, was this: it was much, much more painful to try to remain a woman than to go through all the inconveniences (to put it lightly) of transitioning--and I'm saying this about 6 years ago. People were way less understanding then. I had to advocate for myself in a very real way.

And the dysphoria is not 100% gone. But it's WAY BETTER. In ways I can't even describe, it's so much better. I thought I'd give up after a year or so of HRT but I'm never going back. I feel right. I smell right (I know??). I look right. And for myself, and many other less fortunate trans people who were outright experimented on by curious psychiatrists looking to cure the dysphoria itself, HRT is the only thing that has worked.

In the far future, there may be a way to pinpoint dysphoria accurately and eliminate it without HRT. Which may pose some interesting ethical questions. But conversion therapy (as you've mentioned--it does exist and there is a huge history of it being attempted unsuccessfully on trans people) is our only other known method. We know that doesn't work. Some day there may very well be another way. But we're not there yet.

Re: so I wrote you this book

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you very much, I'm sorry to bring it up, and this does help me understand. I'm glad you're happier now as you are, even if it still isn't easy.
<33

[(Anonymous)]

stfu

[(Anonymous)]

+1

All it's doing is doubling down on the idea that there's only one accepted way to be "male" and one accepted way to be "female" and that if you don't meet those standards, you're not male or female. Bullshit. Masculine women and feminine guys exist and that doesn't make them any less female/male.

[(Anonymous)]

NB people are not dictating to others how they should construct their identities. Their identities do not invalidate or threaten anyone else's identities.

Quiz Time!

[(Anonymous)]

Since y'all seem to be the experts, why don't you answer these questions for me.

- Why is it okay for someone to exist somewhere on a spectrum between masculinity and femininity but not on a spectrum between male and female?
- If how you personally identify yourself is not what makes you a man or a woman, what does?
- Why is the femininity/masculinity spectrum valid but male and female are binary?
- If non-binary people are a result of men and women in predominately Western countries feeling like they can't conform to social standards for gender, why do non-binary identities exist outside of Western countries?
- Why can there be 34 flavors of Pringles potato chips and only 2 genders?
- Which cheek of my whole ass would you like to start smooching first?

Re: Quiz Time!

[(Anonymous)]

Genitalia, people are not food? Left.

Re: Quiz Time!

[(Anonymous)]

(same anon) As a matter of fact now that I think about it, if anything it makes more sense for people to identify as non-binary than binary since few of us seem to be predisposed to leaning towards one end of the spectrum than the other, and we all have mixtures of testosterone and estrogen as well as any number of chromosomal alignments that are unknown to 99.99% of us anyway. (Meaning, you could be intersex and not know.) Muddying the waters somewhat.

So, why do many of us identify as binary anyway? Because we want to. It fits. And it's not hurting anyone.

[(Anonymous)]

My life would be so much easier if 25 years as a queer fairy actually did the trick.

[(Anonymous)]

SA: And to be honest, there's a long history of "gender-critical" people pushing the same arguments but flipping the fuck out over feminine men who don't have million-dollar personal designers. So listen to the actions and not the words.

[(Anonymous)]

I’m a super hairy cis woman, as in, I could grow a credible dwarf beard if I worked at it, and despite liking frou-frou dresses, I really don’t understand a lot of “feminine” cultural stereotypes.

But as far as I was aware, person who feels their assigned at birth sex is a good fit because they feel male or female = cis. Person who feels like their assigned at birth sex is a bad fit usually = trans.

Person who goes “lol wtf who feels their sex/gender, gender is just a name for cultural stereotypes people conform to, right? Gender’s not a real thing, haha!” might be non-binary in the same way that someone might look at everyone around them hooking up and go “I don’t get what the fuss is about, but maybe everyone else is exaggerating” until the day they find out that they’re asexual and people generally really do want to fuck each other.

I think people who think “likes makeup and also baseball = nonbinary” are dumb because trans women aren’t women because they love romance novels and knitting, but because they feel like women, and trans men aren’t men because they love beer and sports, but because they feel like men. And non binary people are non binary because they don’t feel like either.

[(Anonymous)]

I think this is a really good comment. I don't really claim to understand the non-binary identity, but this would be my best guess at explaining it as well.

[(Anonymous)]

No actually. Most people don't feel very strongly about their gender. Most of those who do are usually those who think something is wrong, and that usually turns out to be dysphoria because they're trans. Most cis people don't really think about their gender a lot because there isn't much to think about. Saying "they're probably all just nonbinary themselves" is really stupid.

And the people who claim to be nonbinary are usually first and foremost in their assertion that if you don't conform to every gender stereotype in the book, it means you're nonbinary.

[(Anonymous)]

Most cis people don't really think about their gender a lot

NAYRT - That's not what AYRT said. It's not about how much a person thinks about their gender. It's whether they feel like their gender. I am female, and I don't think about being female a ton, but I definitely feel female. I do not feel disconnected from my female-ness. My brain recognizes my self as a female self without something in me going, "I mean, like, I guess, technically."

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT—I’m a cis woman who spent awhile thinking about my gender. People have said I’m not female because I don’t/can’t always afford to spend time and money removing Gaston-level body and facial hair, so I don’t automatically pass as a woman. And it’s really upsetting to be told I’m a man not because I bleed out my twat every month and have ovaries and a uterus and two X chromosomes, even though I do, but because I feel female and being misgendered sucks.

When I was young and confused by puberty and turning into a pubescent Sasquatch, and people would say I must be a dude, inside I would be panicking, like, “I am? Am I supposed to be a guy? But I feel like a girl, but maybe they’re right and having to shave my facial hair twice a day makes me a guy... but I feel like a girl.” Sometimes I hated the parts of me that weren’t “female enough.” Etc, etc.

Maybe I’m actually wrong and trans people’s dysphoria is an entirely different feeling, not just a more intense “my body doesn’t look female/male, and people say I’m not, but I’m still a woman/man, because that’s how I feel.”

[(Anonymous)]

To be fair, it's hard not to believe that “likes makeup and also baseball = nonbinary”, when every single transgender person in existence conforms to the stereotypes of the gender they identify with. Not to mention there's a push to identify every single cross-dressing woman in history as transgender, because she dressed in male clothing and engaged in traditionally masculine activities. If you're a woman, who likes to wear masculine clothing, it's very hard to have trust in your inner femaleness, while simultaneously agreeing that every other woman who dressed in masculine clothing in the past was secretly a transman.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT—but... not every transgender person in existence conforms to the stereotypes of the gender they identify with? They get pressured to conform to stereotypes by gender norms that also effect cis people, sometimes with added “you must be this much of a stereotype for the medical establishment to let you medically transition” bullshit.

I don’t actually think every woman in the past who wore masculine clothing was a trans guy. I think some known crossdressing women were actually trans, though, and the freakouts by people complaining that they were all cis lesbians or straight and just dressed as men as a disguise to move freely in society/hold down a job/etc sound like transphobes for insisting none of them could’ve been trans because reasons.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT: There's a lot of strawmen and just plain wrongness packed into one paragraph. To start with, a lot of us are in the closet for various reasons and are quite adept at passing as AGAB. And no, not every cross-dressing person in history is trans, but we have a fair number of records of people who persisted in identifying with their chosen gender, even when facing a jail sentence or involuntary hospitalization. Collette probably wasn't trans, not that there's a big movement to claim her as such. Eugene de Forest may have been.

[(Anonymous)]

Wrong. Just wrong. You only notice the ones who do. Classic confirmation bias there, mate.

[(Anonymous)]

+a million

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

you again? just fuck off you sad little piss stain

ooooooo i don't understand it so it's some dumb snowflake thing god you're a self centered bitch. thank fuck the world doesn't run on what your pea brain can comprehend