fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4775 ]

[ SECRET POST #4775 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4775 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 55 secrets from Secret Submission Post #684.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Vent away!

My laptop is in the repairs untill Monday. I miss it already.

I just got my laptop back from repairs. $210, $40 of it for the actual component.
*sigh*

Nayrt—oof.

I"m just tired of foot pain. It keeps seeming like it is doing a lot better, and then the pain will come back. Also, I'm having issues with my other leg and back from using the cane. My other leg has actually almost collapsed under me a few times, which is scary. I just want to be able to walk normally and without pain. It has been more than 2 months since surgery, and I feel like I should be further along.

When it comes to surgery, from second hand experience, there's less of a "should" than there should be. Healing comes at its own pace. With that said, I hope the pace quickens for you soon and it gets easier!

I know. And when I saw my doctor a few weeks ago he actually said I was progressing fairly quickly. I'm just really sick of it.

I've got so much post fic-release anxiety right now, lads

I've talked about it before in other f!s posts, also on anon, so this's been going on for about two months, but today the fic actually came out in full and it's one of the longer things I've ever written, and I really want the two people I definitely wanted to see it to love it, and I keep feeling this urge to share it everywhere that I have to suppress cus I can't be an attention whore, and, like. Anxiety High

(And I vent, but I honestly kind of thrive on this feeling too. I'd forgotten what finishing something creative felt like)

I feel this.

Hope lots of folks enjoy reading your fic, nonny! (I was going to say I hope they enjoy reading as much as you enjoyed writing it, but I know the writing process isn't always as pleasant :P)

My mum does most of the cooking in our house, in part because she's a little bit controlling, in part because the rest of us are a bit slack. Like, we could do more, but we'd also be more likely to do more if she'd back off. That sort of thing. Anyway!
Lately she keeps getting pissed off about leftovers - someone doesn't finish their dinner, they put it in the fridge, they don't come back to it, mum throws it out a few days later. My irritation with her irritation is twofold: firstly, if you keep cooking meals that other people don't seem keen to eat, maybe stop cooking the same things and getting annoyed at the same outcomes! Secondly, my dad has a problem with his throat that means sometimes he just... pukes whatever he's been eating right back up. He is the LAST person anyone should be nagging to eat anything he doesn't want to! Just let the man live already!

that sounds pretty serious, I think your dad should go to a doctor if he hasn't already.

He has, there's nothing to do. He just has to live with it.

I wish I had more energy. I finally have a full time job and it’s not horrible or anything, I just can’t get much done on my days off. I can’t tell if it’s depression causing the exhaustion, or something physical, or if I just can’t handle being on my feet working with the public 40 hours a week and an hour commute each way and have anything left to do chores or fun stuff.

I used to think it was the stress of a half time job even further away and caring for a sick and then dying addict relative and being a full time student trying to finish my degree that knocked me flat, and it was way, way worse.

I don’t randomly start crying (except for the occasional pms bs) or panicking anymore, I don’t have nightmares, I mostly manage to exercise. Work isn’t super stressful. But my joints randomly hurt and I get migraines and sinus headaches and feel like I’m wearing a lead suit.

I want to garden and sew costumes and go hiking and cook fancy meals and I can’t even do all my dishes. I’ve always been a slob, but at least I used to procrastinate by planting flowers or starting an elaborate sewing project or something. It’s 4:30 pm and I haven’t even left the house.

I guess at least I got five servings of fruit and veggies and a shower? Sigh.

I feel you on this. I work 40 hours a week, and when I have time off I just want to do nothing.

Amber Heard is one of the worst people on Earth and I absolutely hate everyone that took her side literally because she's a woman.

I hate being considered an unattractive looking woman. It ruins every aspect of life. I'm not really living; I don't get a chance at a full life. It stinks.

On the one hand, I agree that being an ugly woman sucks. I’m almost 37 and I’ve never even held hands with a guy, or been kissed unless I count people cornering me so they could win bets.

On the other hand, I hate the idea that my ugliness has ruined my chance at a full life and that I’m not really living without a romantic partner or the opportunity to look beautiful. When I’m having an especially awful day I have to fight thinking like that myself, and honestly, it’s almost worse hating my face and body than it is to be mocked and ostracized for my looks. I can go home and be a hermit to avoid mockery from others, but that doesn’t work for self-loathing.

I understand how much it hurts.

My own parents called me ugly a few times. I have been told that I'm not ugly though. I do have some slight facial anomalies that I cannot fix further because I am poor. Everybody just expects me to want to date unattractive guys and the answer is no- and then they get offended at that as if they actually have a say in what and who I should be attracted to!

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

(Anonymous) - 2020-02-02 06:36 (UTC) - Expand

da

(Anonymous) - 2020-02-02 15:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

(Anonymous) - 2020-02-02 22:13 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

(Anonymous) - 2020-02-03 19:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

(Anonymous) - 2020-02-03 19:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

(Anonymous) - 2020-02-03 19:54 (UTC) - Expand

Being a hermit is awesome. It's also easier if you have Hulu and the internet. ;)

I imagine there are mental issues surrounding these perceived opinions that make them worse than they are. With that mindset, no woman can win. If the 'ugly' get dismissed, and the 'pretty' are only chosen for eye candy and dismissed despite either womans ability to do the job.
I don't want to sound like a broken record of sorts but if you live life with the intention that you've already lost/are at a disadvantage than there is no way to advance forward, because you've already accepted defeat.
Your physical appearance has nothing to do with the skills you hold, and have earned throughout your life, beauty is subjective in every way imaginable. I recommend you talk to someone about this, since it seems as if you are allowing personal insecurities guide you away from your path in life, rather than just accepting that you are who you are, most people are more impressed by standards, than basic looks, and that you can live your best live exactly the way you are.

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

(Anonymous) - 2020-02-03 19:35 (UTC) - Expand

I need to be making about 300 dollars more a month. That's all! That would totally fix all my stupid fucking money issues. But i'm locked into my current salary (less than 1000 a month) until August, and I don't know if I'll actually continue to have a job where I'm at right now or not.

Fucking hell, I hope so. Nothing like being 50+, no degree, and job hunting in a very small town.

I feel you. I'm 46 with no college degree.

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

tabaqui - 2020-02-02 04:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

(Anonymous) - 2020-02-03 19:51 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

tabaqui - 2020-02-03 23:45 (UTC) - Expand

I had a complete burnout mental breakdown at my shitty fucking job after 5 years, and I quit in some desperate attempt to save my mental health, but I'm seriously starting to think I've given myself PTSD because I can't even think about getting another job without having a 100% balls-to-the-wall feel-like-I'm-dying panic attack. Obviously I need to get one. My savings are dwindling fast. But I can't. But I have to. But I can't.

I'm totally fucking losing it and I don't know what to do, which is doubly shitty because I'm not in any sort of financial place to actually seek out the help I clearly need.

Someone who I used to be close friends with has just been arrested for carrying a knife and assaulting someone. It's in all our local papers. I'm just really frustrated and sad. He was one of the first people to try and befriend me when I moved here and was really close to me and my partner (they went to school and lived together), then after a bad breakup a few years back he went into a huge downward spiral.

It just sucks. He was such a sweet kid and he's gone off the rails and as much as I want to be there for him, he's basically alienated all of us (and stolen from us) and I feel like I don't know him anymore. In all honesty, I'm a little scared of him now, and I feel like a bad (former) friend.

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