[ SECRET POST #4851 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4851 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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09. https://i.imgur.com/lFBu3wn.png
[link for NSFW, kinda? stock photo?]


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13.
[The Witcher]


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14. [SPOILERS for Hawaii 5-0 (finale)]



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15. [SPOILERS for Good Girls]



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16. [SPOILERS for Tsioque]



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17. [WARNING for discussion of rape]














Notes:

Lots because I counted wrong earlier.

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #694.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

My fic won't come out of my head and onto paper/screen, waaaaaaaaah

k I'm done, post yours

Re: Vent thread

[philstar22]

I appear to be in a period of insomnia. 4 really bad nights in a row where it took a long time to get asleep, then I woke up multiple times once I was asleep. The last 2 nights I've also had nightmares about pretty much my biggest fear in the world (my cat dying).

And today I just feel off. Irritated, emotional, just off. Somewhat explained probably by lack of sleep. But if it wasn't way too soon I'd almost expect it to be hormones. But it can't be because it is way too early for that. So I don't know what's wrong with me.

Also, my boss has been sending me a few assignments the past couple of weeks. And I've worked my ass off on them. Spent 7 hours yesterday working on a brief. I didn't get any thank you or even an acknowledgement of receipt from him for any of them. A little appreciation would be nice, you know? It isn't like he pays me much.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Same tho.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Thirded.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

What’s life like for those lucky bastards without executive dysfunction?

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

From watching my dad and brother all my life, I would say "happy and fulfilling to a degree I thought was only possible in movies". My mother is also really functional, but she's an extreme control freak, so she has her own brand of misery. Still, she gets tons of things done, and done right. I'd rather be her than me.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I was way more stressed than usual today, and I'm not sure why? It was really, really hard to focus and do my job, and I kept having to pass things on to other people to do instead because everything was making me want to cry. I have to work again tomorrow, so I'm trying to be gentle with myself and go to bed early so hopefully I'm less stressed tomorrow.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time, anon. I hope things are better for you tomorrow. I'm having a hard time focusing on my work too. For me, I think it's because the reward system I have (work hard all week, go out and do fun stuff on the weekend) doesn't work with the current situation we've got going on. It's a bit of, "Why bother?", for me.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm in a relationship, committed, with another woman but, and I know this is terrible, believe me, I am starting to miss sex with men. I just miss being with someone with a higher libido.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

That's not a gender thing, though, there are plenty of women with super high libidos and men with lower ones.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I believe we're suffering from the same condition, OP, 'cause my fic refuses to leave my head too. What's your fic about?

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

It's about an OC who had a rivalry with a canon character prior to the canon time period. It's definitely an idfic, but I do want to post it someday. Since the viewpoint character becomes kind of mentally unstable after an accidental mind-meld of sorts, you'd think the fact that it refuses to come out quite right even when I can get something put down might actually work in its favor, but there's a difference between "viscerally stylistic" and just bad writing. It writes itself beautifully in my head when I'm laying down trying to sleep, so I pull out my computer and the words fade like a dream and I'm left with a vague echo of what I had up in there. It's frustrating. I'm getting nowhere.

TMI sex/female health talk

[(Anonymous)]

I want to have sex with someone. Damn it. I don't even care about a relationship. Never had either. Have what I guess is a high libido. I think about sex a lot. I'm turned on a lot. And right now I want to have sex. I'm sick of making do with fic and porn and fantasy and dreams.

The problem is, other than a lack of a partner, I'm a woman who suffers from vagina issues/pain. Even touching myself, I can only touch the outside. So sex is out of the question.

I can't afford the therapy and medical care it would take to deal with this, at least not right now. So I'm stuck. And right now I really, really want to have sex.

Re: TMI sex/female health talk

[(Anonymous)]

have you tried toys? a small vibe or dildo might be helpful.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

This is small and dumb, but...

One of my favorite shows is ending soon and I'm so nervous about how things are going to end up for my OTP. Right now they're in a good place and seem happy but I'm afraid it can't last (because there's no drama in people being happy), plus there's someone who claims to have spoilers who says they break up in the last episode. I don't know if they're just saying that because they don't like the pairing (plenty of people in the fandom don't) or they want attention or whatever, or if it's actually true. The writers have done a lot of stupid shit before so I wouldn't put it past them, but at the same time I'm really hoping that since it's the series finale they'll just let them finally be happy. Two other shows I loved ended recently, too, and my ship didn't end up together in either of them so I'm really hoping that's not the case with this one, too.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Related to the WIP thread above, I'm doing a drawing meme and only got two requests out of six slots. However I have a friend who "liked" every instance of me asking for prompts without ever asking for anything and it feels like... a slap in the face.
I assume she's well meaning but we do share fandoms and pairings yet she shows that my art is too crappy for her to want and be associated with it.
And yeah it's petty of me and maybe I do need the lesson that my art is crappy and my friends hate it but still, it sucks.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I know it's stupid to whine about missing out on stuff, but I'm just so freaking sad that everything I was looking forward to has been cancelled. I understand why everything had to be cancelled and I really would've side-eyed the event planners if they'd tried to go forward with things, but I feel like I have absolutely nothing to look forward to now and it's really killing my motivation. I can't even look forward to my favorite shows because they've also been put on hold. I miss hugging people too. I haven't been able to hug any of my friends or family members in weeks and I'm missing that human contact.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

You're allowed to be disappointed. Honestly, I feel like every other day, we're bouncing back between "in the new normal indefinitely" and "June/July/August/etc is looking great!" and that just makes it worse. So many things I wanted to experience and so many places I wanted to go to. At this point, I'm trying to ignore canceled events involving humans being within 6 feet of each other and just catch up on things that I didn't watch/read/play because I was too busy at the time. Do you have anything you meant to check out during its popularity?

Sorry you can't hug your loved ones. I know it's not a substitute, but do you take internet hugs? (((hugs)))

Re: Vent thread

[greghousesgf]

I feel exactly the same way except I don't have any favorite shows that are still running, but there are a zillion events I was super looking forward to and I miss the hell out of my non-online friends. :(

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know if this is venting so much as just yelling into the void, but I'm laughing at myself for shipping a m/f pair and drawing a canon f/f couple instead, with low key villain/f from the ship I just mentioned. I'm excited though, I haven't really drawn f/f ship art in a long time, I hope I can do them justice, they are so cute!

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm long-term disabled and I'm watching the covid-19 crisis with a certain amount of... well, I hardly dare put a name to it.

I've spent so many years being restricted in so many ways, being unable to work and barely able to socialise, being the subject of ruthless gatekeeping by the powers-that-be.

And now, suddenly, the government's concerned about mental health of people stuck at home, and people who are stuck at home have been complaining about how awful it is, and they're having to buy food for a fortnight and this has been my life for decades.

I'm not denying that this is terrible, that people are dying, that folks are overworked and scared and stressed to all hell. I've contributed to one of the appeals.

And yet the massively restricted life, that the vast majority are now experiencing, is what my life is like all the time, and it's what the lives of so many disabled people are like all the time. I had a friend complaining to me that she can't go out socialising, dancing, or on her annual holiday with her friendsgroup. Cry me a river.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

SA I think the name I'm trying to put to it is "Welcome to my world."

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Same! I feel like a jerk, but like... if this was going to be the rest of their lives, they'd be so angry. They're already protesting on the streets against it even being temporary. Lol.

Nobody cares until it's happening to them. Nobody cares that I haven't worked in 6 years, that I have to rely on very unreliable government services and financial assistance that took years to put in place. Nobody cares that I'll live in poverty until I die. That I can't get outside to enjoy the air and the sun and see people and nature without help that I don't have. Nobody cares that I'll always be at imminent risk of being homeless, for me a second time. People seem to operate under the delusion that the disabled are taken care of by society and that only those who aren't trying or waste their payment on drugs and alcohol are struggling to afford basics like food and hot water. Housing is so bad in my area that there are zero rentals affordable to people on pensions. Zero. Despite the government saying they have a target percentage they want to see, nothing is ever done to make it happen. It's all just words.

Now everyone else has to live in this situation where they're being placated and the words the government uses don't have any tangible meaning in their lives. It's not putting food on their tables, and they are freaking out.

I just want to tell people to like... breathe in and accept the fact that you never had control of your life, and then breathe out. You thought you did while you had the ability to support yourself, but that's not something you get to keep. You're going to lose it sooner or later anyway. Be glad you'll have the opportunity to compete for whatever job you can get when everything is open for business again, probably too soon because we must save the economy, probably at the expense of a lot of us non-contributors dying.

Oh that feels better. I do wish I could smack some perspective into some people.

I had the fun of having a bunch of my friends actually complain to me about how little they were getting on their temporary government payments and assume that I get more because mine is a permanent payment. Haha. No. It is much less. You're getting over $100 more per week. They've confirmed that the disabled won't receive an increase, even though our expenses have increased.

It's like we're on the titanic and we're locked below deck and everyone on deck is complaining about the lifeboats being cramped.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm Essential, so financially I'm fine. Years of poverty and unpredictable weather have instilled minor food/dry goods hoarding tendencies in me from way back, so I'm not running out of shelf-stable milk or toilet paper any time soon. I'm doing just dandy as far as the bottom two tiers of Maslow's hierarchy of needs go, but.

I'm working 60 hour weeks. Most of that's remote, but mostly that means that as far as the people I work for are concerned my work hours are whenever the hell they feel like calling me because there is no time anymore. It's moderately stressful work on a good day, and now everything's dialed up to eleven. Right now, I am not allowed to take time off unless I'm sick. I can't see my family because I can't leave the state. My cat died two years ago and my plants are terrible conversationalists.

The end comes soon. We hear drums, drums in the deep. They are coming.