[ SECRET POST #4854 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4854 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



__________________________________________________



02.
[Joe Dirt]


__________________________________________________



03.
[Kael'thas Sunstrider, World of Warcraft Shadowlands expansion]


__________________________________________________



04.
[Father Brown Mysteries]


__________________________________________________



05.
[Xena: Warrior Princess]


__________________________________________________



06.
[The Untamed]


__________________________________________________



07.
[BAND-MAID]


__________________________________________________



08.
[Kingdom Hearts]


__________________________________________________



09.
[Tiger King]


__________________________________________________



10.












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 41 secrets from Secret Submission Post #694.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. https://i.imgur.com/0qT8j5y.png

[greghousesgf]

I agree completely, and I don't see why this has to be a secret.

[(Anonymous)]

the world can't have positive portrayals of single childless/childfree women because BABIES and you're not a real woman who knows the true meaning of unconditional love or has any value unless you've popped one out

also babies

[greghousesgf]

trying not to throw up on my keyboard

[resnullius_bells]

ITA. We don't have enough of that. And slightly deviating from the main point, but it pisses me off when I see people criticize this type of narratives (especially since they're so few) supposedly on the grounds of feminism.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like the only childless person on FS who doesn't care about baby propaganda in media.

[(Anonymous)]

I would care if it invaded my fandoms more than it does. I apparently have selected to be super into a small handful of media properties wherein childbearing and all the narrative trappings that come with it are nonexistent.

so, I don't care. but I also am very grateful that I'm not into anything where that message is pushed by some sheer accident of fate.

[tabaqui]

Yes, please. Especially because, unless the child is somehow really integral to the plot, they are always so *convenient*. They can vanish for hours and nobody cares, they never finish the food they're given, and apparently there are no money worries, unless it's a Very Special Episode to teach us about The Poor (or The Rich, depending).

Kinda like pets (which also disappear ever-so-conveniently).

[(Anonymous)]

Aha, yes the convenient baby. Perhaps we have to assume that there's an invisible woman who will take care of it. Though I remember a couple in "The Good Wife" in which it was the father who was the caregiver. He managed to wrangle two pre-school kids and a job as a lawyer. One wonders, if men are so damn capable, why women are landed with a job they're so much less good at?

Or to put it another way, +1.

[tabaqui]

:D

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I remember that guy in The Good Wife - he got cut a lot of slack for being "a good dad" when female lawyers didn't dare mention they had kids at all, and I liked that the show was clear about that.

[(Anonymous)]

AMEN.

I felt really betrayed by Bones going the 'wants a baby' route in particular, but I'd just like to see ANY women on TV stay child free. Not child*less*, child FREE. Child free, happy/fulfilled as anyone else, and not presented as selfish or immoral for not letting themselves be bullied into being a babymaker when they know parenthood isn't the right choice for them.

There are plenty of great female characters who have or want kids, but whenever there's a woman who doesn't, she's villainized, or the writers decide to change her completely, or she's written off because she's clearly unsuitable as a love interest to a man who might want kids someday...

[philstar22]

Yup. Bones was ruined for me with that storyline. I could have even been okay with her keeping the pregnancy if Booth had been the primary parent. He'd already proven to love parenting and to be a great parent to Parker. But no, Bones had clear gender existentialist ideas, so of course as the mother Bones had to be the primary parent. And she had to become "maternal" and nurturing even though it went against who she was. And then, when she went on the run, even though it would have made a hell of a lot more sense for Christine to stay with Booth , she actually endangered her child by taking her with her and everyone was totally cool with that and agreed she did the right thing. What the hell, show?

Nope, still not over Bones. I loved seasons 1-3 so much. It was one of my favorite shows. And they completely and utterly destroyed it. She was one of my favorite characters. And they utterly destroyed her.

[resnullius_bells]

I left the show long before that happened (and yes, it was because they destroyed her character and I couldn't take it), but did the characters seriously act as if she did the right thing by kidnapping and endangering her daughter?? The only thing I know about it is that it was without Booth's knowledge, so I expect he had something to say about it, at least O_O

[(Anonymous)]

Grey's Anatomy I think did a surprisingly good job of this one with Christina, it was clear from the start she didn't want kids and she held firm to that the whole time. There was conflict when she was dating Owen, who wanted kids, but I never felt the show was demonizing her for it and when the actress decided to leave the show she was written off by getting the fulfilling medical career she'd been striving for. TV needs more Christinas.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm with you OP.
I'm almost 40 single and childless and *gasp* happy. A woman can not have children, not want children and be completely fine with it. I wish the media would (as usual) stop portraying such a rigid view of women.

[(Anonymous)]

35 and same on both counts. Even if I did want a kid, I'm not settled enough financially and such to where I feel I could care for one. If shows must give reasons why a woman may not want a baby, I wish that were one they'd take into account, especially for any characters who are in the generation that's lived through the 2008 economic crash and recession (and now the economic fallout of this pandemic, for that matter). Lots of young people are holding off on starting families because of that, if they even want to start one at all.

[bur]

Same. Almost 40 and single and ridiculously content without kids. I don't have to "consult" anyone about the money I make, my time is my own, my LIFE is my own. I would never give it up.

[(Anonymous)]

I’m ace, disabled, not well-off, and 32. In an ideal world, I’d like to have a child. It makes me quite sad that it’s just not in the cards for me.

But I wholeheartedly agree with this secret. I feel like even if you’re someone who kind of wants children and just probably can’t have them, it’s still incredibly valuable to have depictions of both childless and child-free women, who are admirable, who lead complete lives, and who aren’t unhappy (or, if they are unhappy, their unhappiness isn’t attributed largely to their lack of children).

Fiction can be incredibly valuable in its ability to validate, but also, in its ability to show us a way forwards, so to speak.

It’s something Jane Fonda said about her show Grace and Frankie - that she gets so many letter from women of all ages, telling her that her show has helped them to "see a way forward." In Fonda’s case, what they’ve seen is a way forwards into growing old, as women, in society, without feeling like they’re sinking inexorably into irrelevance.

But I think there’s so many ways that fiction can help us see a way forwards. And I’d really love to see more child-free and childless women in the media, because I think it would help me to not be afraid of my own future as someone who never had children. (As well as validating the people who know they don’t want children and just wish the world would back them up on that a little, because fuck yeah, that too.)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm aro, disabled, not well-off, and 35. I've been clear with the idea that I never want to be pregnant, never want to raised kids, since roughly puberty, and that I'd better stay single since early adulthood.
And the freaking social worker in charge of helping autistic adults getting a job in the "normal" world... flat-out told me that I should have kids "it'll help me sort out my life"
I'm at a loss for words.

[(Anonymous)]

I do agree, but I also think that the way all women's choices are portrayed suck. Married with kids and a job? Better also have kept your looks, be a perfect mom who's always there and also give 100% to your career! Kids and no job? You're a burden to society! No kids at all? What are you, a monster?

From my friendship group where we all have one of these situations going on, I can honestly say that people just like to judge the hell out of women in all situations.

[(Anonymous)]

And then we have to judge the hell out of the judgmental types.
If anyone doing the judging is female, this becomes a vicious cycle.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't care if characters have kids, but I do not want to see more of the dichotomy between "Forgot to have kids because career, whoops now I'm miserable" and "Gave up career, had kids, I'm happy!" It just ignores the wide range of real women's experiences:

Had kids but still remains devoted to career
Had kids but still has to work whether wanted to or not because they need the money
Had kids and is a stay-at-home mom but has fulfilling hobbies and friendships outside of kids
Did not have kids and still has no career to speak of
Could not have kids whether wanted to or not, or just did not get the opportunity
Could take or leave having kids
Had kids but isn't particularly happy (not necessarily because of the kids, but they didn't fix anything)
And so on...

[(Anonymous)]

This is fair. It's frustrating when they present only one path as the "correct" one, and anyone who deviates is wrong and is doomed to be miserable (and probably "deserves it" for daring to not have children/waiting too long to have them or having a life outside of kids).

[(Anonymous)]

I would kill for literally ANY kind of older female representation honestly. Like, gimme that cool aunt who never had kids and has bitchin' hobbies and a chill on-again, off-again partner.