[ SECRET POST #4897 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4897 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[ff7]


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04.
[the promised neverland]


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05.
[ojamajo doremi]


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07.
[fushigi yuugi]


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09.
[sailor moon]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 40 secrets from Secret Submission Post #701.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Should you give gay guys more of a pass for sexism than straight guys?

[(Anonymous)]

"Cut him some slack with the sexism because he's not around women a lot" is a giant load of bullshit.

(That said: I wouldn't support ending a friendship over that, especially if he's, as you say, overall a good guy.)

Re: Should you give gay guys more of a pass for sexism than straight guys?

[(Anonymous)]

Is he a good guy though? Like what is the bar? He doesn't physically assault women? He doesn't insult them to their face? Is that the bar?

At best he's mildly shitty. If he stops being a rampant misogynist maybe he'll be neutral but is not being deliberately shitty really good? I'd say not.

If he was good he'd be calling out other men for saying those things. He'd be asking actual women for their opinions on things that involve them.

Re: Should you give gay guys more of a pass for sexism than straight guys?

[(Anonymous)]

This.

Re: Should you give gay guys more of a pass for sexism than straight guys?

[(Anonymous)]

This. So tired of men getting alllll the slack for being "good guys" when "good" is defined as "standards so incredibly low you'd have to be an utter cretin not to meet them". Besides, who needs even mildly shitty friends? Life's too short. Get out there, make friends who don't need you to make excuses for their sexism and misogyny.

I get that women especially receive a tremendous amount of pressure to be nice and forgiving about shitty men. Like maybe if we just explained it (gently, of course!) the shitty men would understand that sexism is bad? Even OP is wondering if geez, maybe their standards of not wanting their friend to say shitty, sexist things about women is asking too much? IT IS NOT ASKING TOO MUCH. When you put up with bullshit, your reward for being so nice and tolerant is more bullshit.

Re: Should you give gay guys more of a pass for sexism than straight guys?

[(Anonymous)]

overall he's a good guy
That's what OP said.

Re: Should you give gay guys more of a pass for sexism than straight guys?

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, maybe it's a good idea to not go nuclear just because your friend is dumb sometimes? Some people have blind spots, or views that would irritate the shit out of people more enlightened on a subject. I'm sure even you, OP, and everyone on this thread has a blind spot. Even I do.

I'm not saying give him a pass, but someone can generally be a good person while having views you don't necessarily agree with. (And if the views bother you, you can always challenge them.)

And I'm guessing someone is going to respond to this going OMG U SEXIST BAD PERSON FUCK. To which I say chill the fuck out and stop automatically assuming malice. It's not like the friend is claiming women need to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, only satisfying their man and never having any rights. Going off of what OP says, it just sounds like he's stuck on an antiquated custom and really hasn't gotten a clue. (Unless there are other instances of blatant sexism OP hasn't mentioned.) It's not really clear how the conversation about fathers giving daughters away in marriage came about.

Personally, I'd be more concerned about the friend saying the guy needs a woman to educate him. No, he just needs to be educated, and it doesn't matter who does it.

Re: Should you give gay guys more of a pass for sexism than straight guys?

[(Anonymous)]

+1, thank you