[ SECRET POST #5227 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5227 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 13 secrets from Secret Submission Post #748.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Was this secret written by an 11 year old?

[(Anonymous)]

Is that a problem though? I figured the OP was referring to how people *talk to them* like they're a child just because they have dolls. Which, as an adult doll collector, I get (an adult who collects dolls, not a collector of "adult dolls").

[(Anonymous)]

Nayrt

Even in the context of doll collectors, it seems like "you're going to be a great mommy someday" would be an unbelievably infantalizing thing to say to an adult - maybe that's where AYRT is coming from?

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP but maybe they don't speak English as a first language and the sentence wouldn't be EXACTLY that, but something to the effect of "you're going to be a great mother because you'll love to play with dolls with your hypothetical 'dolly girl' (at least where I live people give children nicknames like that? Little doll, etc.) and you'll love them just like you love your dolls", etc. ? Again, not OP but I totally get where OP is coming from and it's so weird to me that you don't.

[(Anonymous)]

Sure, I suppose it's possible it's an awkward translation or something, because it's definitely the specific phrasing of the quote that seems off to me.

[(Anonymous)]

da

Man, if you haven't run into this sort of infantilizing nonsense, I am genuinely envious of your good luck. I don't collect dolls, but I do have cats, and I've had people say - recently, to my mid-thirties self - that because I take good care of my cats and enjoy fostering, I'm going to be such a good mommy. Not mother, mommy. It's insanely common in pet-adjacent spaces, and I can easily believe it also springs up around doll collection, either because the people saying it are trying to be "cute" or because they're just that condescending.

[(Anonymous)]

Even though that sucks, cats are at least living creatures that require things like food and positive attention to thrive. People call themselves “pet mommies with fur-babies” all over the internet. Couples getting pets as “practice kids” is an actual thing that happens. Assuming anyone with a pet wants human children is a bad assumption, but it’s not completely off the wall.

Telling an adult that keeping dressed up chunks of plastic intact makes them good parenting material is extremely weird on an entirely different level, and the number of doll collectors in this thread agreeing that it’s not normal leads me to believe that OP hangs out with a particularly unhinged crowd.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

I'm not sure where you're getting "it's normal" from "yeah, people do in fact say that in exactly those infantilizing terms", friend.

[(Anonymous)]

If you are the anon I was replying to, then I never argued that people say that to you about your cats. Even you said you’ve never heard an adult say that to another adult about their toys. You just assume they must, because of your awkward cat conversations apparently.

[(Anonymous)]

If an adult is telling another adult "you're going to be a great mommy someday" there is something very wrong with one of those adults. That is such a bizarre thing to say to someone over the age of like 13 because they have dolls.

I can see someone saying, "You would be a good mother some day" to someone if they saw them babysitting or taking really good care of a pet. But saying that to someone because they own hunks of plastic? What adult is even referring to dolls as "babies"? I can only assume it is other doll collectors considering most adults outside of the fandom would likely be creeped out by them.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT/Not OP but please, see my answer above. But also, ... suddenly I don't hate my culture for being chauvinist all that much. At least people can still understand that playing with / taking care of "chunks of plastic" isn't "creepy".

[(Anonymous)]

Playing with dolls, not creepy. Collecting dozens of dolls is creepy. Source: Dozens of movies about dolls being creepy.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT - Are you being sarcastic? In that case, I chuckled. If not... Yeah best of luck emulating things that happen in movies?

[(Anonymous)]

I was being facetious but also.

https://www.thecut.com/2016/10/people-are-scared-of-dolls-because-of-the-uncanny-valley.html
https://www.vice.com/en/article/wj4ngb/this-is-why-we-think-dolls-are-creepyutm_sourcetonicfbus
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/history-creepy-dolls-180955916/
https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20141201-why-are-dolls-so-creepy
https://www.nme.com/blogs/the-movies-blog/annabelle-chucky-brahms-find-dolls-bloody-scary-2529749

[(Anonymous)]

Wow.

Thankfully my culture still sees dolls as just "chunks of plastic we love" IG.

[(Anonymous)]

Yep, agreed. And actually, I’d say playing with dolls as an adult is also kind of creepy. I’d find just collecting them LESS creepy, to be honest. But at the same time, this general attitude and my specific feelings extend to a lot of things that ultimately just smack of (internalized) misogyny. As the secret indicates, men collecting action figures may be seen as nerds, but they’re still making ~investments into ~memorabilia. Men collecting sports stuff are less nerdy and this type of collection is even more acceptable. If women collect ~childish or fannish things, they are infantilized and/or it is immediately reframed as preparing themselves for their true adult purpose of being “mommies”. It’s frustrating and annoying, and I don’t blame the OP for being angry about it, no matter how I personally feel about dolls.

[(Anonymous)]

Are you really this stupid?

No idea where you're from or how things work where you live. But I (not OP) am a woman in her late twenties and a doll collector, and I get that bullshit all the time - it's really just a weird way of saying "hey maybe it's about time you consider having babies". The issue here is that nobody tells men this, even though their collecting "dolls" have the same value to them as collecting (in my case, BJDs etc.) has to us.

But the nicest thing you have to tell us is "are you 11?"?

Fuck you, kindly.

[(Anonymous)]

Well no, they don't tell men that. But men who collect action figures are often stereotyped (and called) as antisocial virgins with no life. That is literally what Comic Book Guy on the Simpsons is.

And I can guarantee than any man who collects dolls (like the one in the picture or "baby dolls") would be looked at very, very, very suspiciously.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT - yes, but not as mothers lol. Do you see what the problem is?

If someone calls me an antisocial virgin with no life, as they do for people of either gender who collects action figures (which I do, too!), I'll just have to nod and agree. To say that I'd be a great mom even though I have zero intention of ever being a mother? Way to invalidate whatever a woman says, thinks, feels or, dare I say, wants lol. Whatever.

[(Anonymous)]

DA - Dude? Nobody gives a shit if you're a huge geek in 2021. If you're a broke perma-stoned 28-year-old with poor hygiene who games ten hours a day and gets your mom to do your laundry then yeah, people are gonna judge. But it's not the fact you're a geek they're judging you for, I promise.

And I can guarantee than any man who collects dolls (like the one in the picture or "baby dolls") would be looked at very, very, very suspiciously.

Yes, sexism and gender normativity hurts both men and women, do try to keep up.

[(Anonymous)]

This is exactly what I said when I read this comment.

I can't imagine saying this to someone out of grade school. Yikes how gross.