fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #782 ]

⌈ Secret Post #782 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 165 secrets from Secret Submission Post #112.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's sad but true, a lot of women (not fandom) but real life women are gossipy and catty and especially cruel to one another. This holds doubly true for those who look down on you for not living up to 'their standards'. Women like that just make me so uncomfortable. So I think I understand how you feel.

How is sitting here saying "a lot of women are catty and cruel" not in and of itself catty and cruel? Especially if it informs how you interact with them in real life? Maybe if you approach every person you meet openly and amiably, you'd find much different people.

I really want to know where you and the OP come from. Maybe I'm just extremely lucky. I went to a high school with around 500 other girls and never had one fight. Not one. Nor was I bullied or gossiped about. It was good feeling all around. Some of the happiest times of my life. For four straight years.

I don't want to call you a liar, but I cannot for the life of me imagine how anyone can say half the population of the world is generally gossipy and catty. It's just completely ridiculous to me. Mind-boggling.

How can a group that large be defined so easily? What about your mother? Your grandma? Your teachers, sisters?

I didn't say that they were gossipy and catty, although some certainly can be. I said that I didn't find them interesting or worthy of my respect - as I find most people in general. That has nothing to do with meanness. Most of the girls I went to high school with never demonstrated the ability, much less the inclination, to have a meaningful, intelligent conversation. That's all I'm asking for.

Also, I did mention that there are exceptions. My mother and one of my grandmothers are in that group. My other grandmother, and occasionally my sister? Not so much.

I'm from Ohio, by the way, to answer your question. I hate the overall mentality of the people here, and will be leaving as soon as I'm able.

I was more addressing flyingcharr with the gossipy/catty part. Also, saying you don't find most people interesting or worthy of respect is very different than singling out women. Which is what I read out of your post. Thanks for clarifying.

I've actually had my most illuminating, intelligent conversations with women (conservative, midwestern women even, haha), but I went to a great high school so I was lucky. Most adolescents aren't really in that mindset.

(deleted comment)

Guys definitely suck as well. I'm with you on that one. God, especially preteen and teenage boys. Ick!

I know a lot more women than I do men, but I've had about as much trouble with men as I've had with women. Which is to say, not much. Biggest issue I have with them is being ignored for my prettier friends. *shrug*

But yeah, I loved my all-girls school. It was such a great environment.

I honestly want to throw my two cents in here and say that almost every single girl (save for my best friend and her family -- they kept me from "hating" girls completely) I've known up until the past couple of years (college is so different, and I mean that in a good way) has lied to my face in order to hurt me, has talked about my behind my back, and even my own sisters (one of them younger than me) have talked down to me as though I were the scum of the earth. I've had girls steal guys right out from in front of my face that they didn't even like.

Boys were much more honest with me and, for a while, were the only people who would invite me along with them for social activities (and no, it was not in hopes of getting into my pants. I wish this idea would die a quick death).

I'm happy that I'm meeting girls that are disconfirming years of mistrust for me (though it's still very difficult not to be apprehensive), but I can understand where the OP is coming from. Sometimes, if there's something "just not right" about you (for me, it was money and looks -- I had neither up until college, when I "bloomed"), nothing you can do can put you into the good graces of high school girls.

I'm sorry you had those experiences with girls, and I'm glad you're finally meeting some nice ones now. It's not so much I think there are no bitchy women. I definitely don't think that. I just feel it's unfair of people to generalize all women based on their own experiences. I feel like that's what the OP of this thread was doing.

Also, I'm overweight (have been since junior high) and in the lower income bracket, yet I didn't have any trouble from other women. I suppose I was just very lucky. Part of it may have been the school I went to itself, which emphasized loving others and loving/respecting yourself.

Again, so sorry you had to mess with such awful people.

I hear ya. A lot of women do that: they want you to live up to a standard and take it easier on men. I've seen this in families, and the mothers have placed a high standard on their daughters, and less on their sons. But fathers place more on their sons as well. Get my meaning?

[ SECRET POST #782 ]

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