fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5489 ]

[ SECRET POST #5489 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5489 ⌋

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I just got a new mattress. After reading a ton of reviews and shopping around, I went with one of the bed-in-a-box varieties because I wanted to try memory foam. I specifically selected a mattress that offered a "plush" option because I'm 5'8", 115lbs, and a side-sleeper.

It arrived five days ago and goddamn it that thing is firm. I didn't sleep at all the first night, and have slept very poorly every night since because it's so hard. When I sit cross-legged on it, I get a sore ass! I wish I was joking!

I really wish sellers and reviewers would be more clear about the fact that for people of my weight and sleep-position, memory foam tends to be a lot more expensive and tricky than it is for most people. I did a lot of research and nothing I read ever told me, "Listen. Your boney little shoulder and hip are going to sit right on top of these sub-$1K options that claim to be 'plush'. You want to sink into a memory foam bed? Hit up Tempur-Pedic, Purple, and those other $2500+ options. Otherwise, bitch, good luck."

Fortunately I bought from Costco, so I can return it. I'm still annoyed, though.

I think I'm going to buy a cheap-ass mattress and a 3" memory foam topper and hope that works out a little better. *fingers crossed*

That sucks, OP. I like a very soft mattress, but am sleeping on the one I could afford, which isn't so soft. Ah, well.

Good luck! Maybe go with a 4" memory foam......

OP - Yeah, it really sucks that soft mattresses are consistently pricier.

I may just take your advice on the 4" memory foam. I'm thinking about getting one that's 2" of memory foam and 2" of pillow top, for multiple forms of cushioning. :)

Oh, I feel this. I've always been pretty bony, I am also a side-sleeper, and there was a hotel I stayed at during a con where the mattresses were so firm that I woke up the next day with really sore hips from the hip bones just... sitting there on top of it and crushing my skin in between.

Making matters worse, there was a bit of a mishap during the masquerade performance that year where I got hit in the knee rather hard with a glass bottle. (Didn't break, and it was literally the last move of the song-and-dance so I only had to hold it together long enough to get off the stage before collapsing in pain, hahaha.) That night I had to sleep on that mattress and it was so hard that resting my poor knee with its massive bruise on it was incredibly painful.

At home I have a waterbed and at this point would never go without if I can help it. Thing's like a full-body hot water bottle. Which is admittedly not great in summer, and it feels clammy and unpleasant if you turn the temp down too far, but you can drop the temp a few degrees when it's hot and lay off the blankets, and it's still really cushy.

I woke up the next day with really sore hips from the hip bones just... sitting there on top of it and crushing my skin in between.

I know that feel. *winces*

It hadn't even occurred to me to consider a water bed. I'll keep that in mind for future consideration!

In that case, a few notes from a lifelong waterbed owner (literally got the bed frame back in the 80s)...

They do have firmer, "waveless" models that have foam inside. This has proven not to be too much for my bony hips, and it's nice if you don't want the bed to wiggle with every single movement (if you sleep with a partner, or even if you're just really sensitive to motion) but if I recall, they're more expensive. I've just gone with the ones that are basically a huge vinyl bag - those are actually surprisingly inexpensive!

Where it starts to get expensive is two areas: the frame, and the heater mechanism (which has multiple parts). There are hardside mattresses, which I've never had so I can't give advice about those, but for a regular waterbed mattress, the frame has to be really hefty in order to support that much weight - a bed mattress full of water is really, really heavy - and there is a plastic liner that goes in the frame before the mattress to protect the mattress from any screws/splinters/rough bits, and also to contain the water if the mattress springs a leak. (It does not happen like I've seen on TV with water gushing everywhere.) Considering the weight of the mattress and a really sturdy frame, plus the potential of leaks despite the liner, some apartments and rental units don't allow waterbeds without extra insurance.

The heater mechanism is probably the biggest investment beyond the frame, and it's a pain in the butt to replace if it goes out too, since you have to empty the mattress to replace the actual heater (since the mattress is, as noted, HEAVY). Fortunately even the low-end models tend to last years, but personally I always get sticker shock when it's time. :P

Waterbed mattresses are also non-standard mattress sizes, so you can't buy sheets in the normal sizes and expect them to fit. I have the smallest size (Super Single) and since they're longer than even a regular King, I have to either buy sheets specifically made for waterbeds, or (fun hack!) buy Queen/King sheets and kind of skew them diagonally. ;) This didn't use to be a problem in the 80s when waterbeds were "trendy" and there were actually entire stores that sold only waterbeds and waterbed stuff!

Also they require a bit of odd upkeep. There are chemicals to put in the mattress periodically to keep algae and bacteria from growing, kind of like pool chemicals. And despite that, there WILL be some growth, resulting in air bubbles - so now and then if the bed starts getting noisy, you have to "burp" the mattress. It is a weird thing, but it works. (Mine kinda needs it done now, hahah.)

So yeah. I love my waterbed, but would not want to suggest it's a simple thing to buy one and get it all set up. It can be pricy to get started, and requires some attention. But on the other hand, my frame has lasted for nearly 40 years and I've only had to change out the mattress maybe three times and the heating unit twice. ;)

Thank you for taking the time to write all this up! It will definitely be useful if I ever decide to go in this direction! :)

No problem - I wasn't "recommending" a waterbed exactly in my comment, as much as I like mine, because of the issues involved - so I wanted to make sure it was clear it's not a decision one should make on a whim. (Especially because of the rental liability nonsense. I had to just stick an air mattress in my frame for a few years at a couple places.)

I think I'm going to buy a cheap-ass mattress and a 3" memory foam topper and hope that works out a little better

It probably will. I wanted a firm mattress with a squishy top layer after sleeping on a bed like that at a hotel. I forgot to check what kind of mattress it was, though, and I couldn't find anything like it for sale in one piece/set. In the end I bought a random extra firm mattress and then got a memory foam topper at Target and it is wonderful!

Awesome! I'm glad you found the setup that works for you! Fingers crossed I manage to find something similar. :)

My current mattress is a Novaform memory foam from Costco, it's about 4+ years old and going strong. I love it and it's been really good firm support for my back. I did buy a memory foam topper for it, however, for similar issues. It's particularly noticeable if the ambient room temperature is on the cool side.

Yeah, I've heard that memory foam tends to get firmer in cooler rooms. I checked out the Novaform options on Canadian Costco and some of them look pretty good, bud sadly I need a double (the least popular size), and there's only one Novaform option for a double available, and it's too thick for me to then be putting a couple inches of memory foam on top of it. :( But I'll keep the brand in mind for the future.

Something that mattress sellers don't really tell people anymore is that you HAVE to break the mattress in. Knee walk all over that sucker. Roll all over it. Jump on it, if you have the frame for it. But mattresses are sold at the firmness expected once it is broken in, and then don't tell you need to do it.

I definitely appreciate this legit good advice, but I actually had heard that before! I walked and kneed on it for two straight hours the day after my first (sleepless) night with it. I put it on my living room floor, put a movie on the tv, and went to town on that thing. To very little improvement. :(

It's just not a plush bed, no matter what they claim. I went and laid on a bunch of beds yesterday, and this bed is as firm as all the medium-firm beds and some of the firm beds I laid on. I guess I read the wrong reviews when I was deciding to buy it. :(

It takes about a month to break it in.

I am not capable of going a month with such little sleep. If I needed a softness level 5 and it were a 7, sure. But I need a 3 and it's an 8.

I do not believe it will break in that much, and even if it will, jokes on the manufacturers for thinking anyone will suffer with pain and sleep deprivation for a month to break in their product. You dont sell size 25 jeans and tell size 30 customers to just deal with their circulation being cut off for a month until the jeans break in.

I'm so sorry about the mattress. I hope you can get a refund? Trying to find a mattress is always hard, because you can't really know until you sleep on it a few times. Not like you can just try it on and walk around the store for a few minutes.

My best friend bought a mattress from a giant mattress store, and I got to sleep on it for a couple weeks when I was on vacation. It was the most comfortable bed I've ever slept on. It really feels like sleeping on fluffy clouds made of cotton. I forgot what brand it was though, but I recall he said it was expensive.

Yeah, I went to an actual mattress store yesterday and some of the beds I laid on were heavenly, but every single one of the heavenly ones was $$$$.

The Purple Premier 4 mattress is probably the most comfortable mattress I've ever felt. Aaaand it was $5500 CAD. Kill me now.

yeah I bought a new mattress a year or so ago now, one of those matress in a box ones for under $300US. And I bought a firm as I had been using a saggy mattress for a looong time, and when I got it, it was FIRM. Like, so hard. Like, sleeping on the floor would have been softer. I almost returned it, as I wasn't sleeping and was starting to feel pain in my hip and back, but then it suddenly got comfy and I'm so happy with it now. I guess I just needed to get used to it or break it in over a couple of weeks. But those weeks were awful and wish someone had told me it would be like that. lol

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