[ SECRET POST #5553 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5553 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 30 secrets from Secret Submission Post #795.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

05. https://i.imgur.com/5ei54yD.png

[(Anonymous)]

I feel that, nonny.

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't even call that BFF-like, unless the parent is trying to lean on the kid for emotional stuff. Just being someone your kid can go to, not have to fear for any reason, I would think that's part of what makes a parent (though I realize this doesn't fit the definition for some).

Though I'm unfamiliar with Veronica Mars, I totally get this secret. I also only have fictional things to reference any kind of healthy relationship between parent and child, even if I have to write it myself.

[(Anonymous)]

Keith Mars might be my favourite TV/movie father.

[(Anonymous)]

I hate this trope, I think precisely because I've experienced an unhealthy version of this dynamic in RL. Therefore I really distrust it in fiction and find it suffocating and upsetting.

Until my late 30s I avoided things with parents in altogether, which probably speaks volumes.

[(Anonymous)]

Oof, yeah. My parents were fine, but I definitely couldn't "trust" them with everything, so media where parents ARE that understanding and open makes me happy.

[(Anonymous)]

Growing up I realised that I definitely had the best parents. While they 100% have flaws, everyone does, I could go to them about anything, I never felt I had to lie or hide things from for fear of being judged etc.

I never really realised how rare it was until I was older (19) and I was at work one day and my mom called and I told her I would be home late because a friend's sister at the time wanted to take us and her turning-19 sister out to a strip club for her birthday (she was the youngest of us and the last to turn legal-to-drink.

I hung up and my boss looked at me all !!! and was like, "Oh my god why would you tell your mom that, won't she be mad?"

And I was so confused because... why would she be mad? (her actual response had been, "Don't stay out too late, don't you work tomorrow?")

[(Anonymous)]

I do like it when that sort of dynamic exists. Like the father-daughter dynamic of Castle and Alexis on Castle, the mother-daughter dynamic of Sophia and Dorothy on Golden Girls, the father-son dynamic of Sandy and Seth (and the mother figure-son dynamic of Kirsten and Ryan) on The O.C.

I feel you OP

[(Anonymous)]

I know where you're coming from. I never got anything but criticism on every level from my parents. It was only after they died I realized it was their anxiety making them behave that way; that was what passed for love for them, because they were worried about my future, I guess. But they never showed me any real love, only criticism and concern wrapped in anger for my behavior or aspects of my being, things that were inherently me, including my queerness.

But I've learned to let that go, because it's nothing they could change about themselves (they were immigrants and grew up during WW2) and nothing I could have done. And I'm happy with who I am. So yeah, I love Keith Mars with Veronica, and Tony Stark in Endgame with little Morgan, and all the other media dads who are soft supportive friends. <3

Re: I feel you OP

[(Anonymous)]

Same, anon. My parents (my mother in particular) were and are really anxious people who worried a lot about their kids but it just... came out in unhelpful and somewhat toxic ways. I didn't really understand it at the time, but their overwhelming fear that I wasn't smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough or a hard enough worker to succeed at life was incredibly hurtful and damaging to my self-esteem. I'm a very anxious, fearful person as an adult who's terrified of failure. They didn't mean to do that to me. They were just scared, and wanted me to overcome those fears by, I don't know, being perfect? When I couldn't, they got more anxious and strict and tried to tough-love me into being the perfect kid.

Re: I feel you OP

[(Anonymous)]

"They were just scared, and wanted me to overcome those fears by, I don't know, being perfect?"

I'm sorry! *hugs you* Really not helpful to a kid's self-esteem and anxiety levels, right? For me, they were just filled to the gills with anxiety from having grown up in food scarcity and fear. I hurt for all of us in retrospect, and it's helped me release a lot of my anger, if not my wishes for unconditional love.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I love the parent who is also a friend dynamic, too, and Keith and Veronica are a fantastic example of it. I also really love the dynamic of early-seasons Lorelai and Rory, though I can't really speak to the later seasons because I only really remember the first three seasons of the show, and also IIRC the show got slowly worse over time so it stands to reason Lorelai and Rory's dynamic probably got worse over time too.

I've always been friends with my father, even as a little kid, and for the most part I see that as a positive. As I've gotten further into adulthood I've slowly realized some of the ways my father wasn't actually the perfect parent I thought he was as a kid, but I'd still take his parenting a thousand time over my mother's "because I said so/don't sass me/ life's not fair/go away the adult's are talking" style of parenting.