[ SECRET POST #5703 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5703 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 27 secrets from Secret Submission Post #816 .
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

10. https://i.imgur.com/Ty63k0n.png

[(Anonymous)]

Does it have to be the same character in the pairing as the dom top or sub bottom, or can the pairing switch for you? 🤔

Most of the fics of my OTP have the slightly dom top and slightly sub bottom as the same configuration - but holy hell is it erotic when the usually dom person becomes the gagging-for-it-bottom, and vice versa.

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP - I don't like when the dynamic switches within a single fic. But I definitely like pairings where the dynamic can work either way and where the fandom is willing to work with that.

[(Anonymous)]

OP - I always headcanon my ships as switching occasionally, but I'm mostly uninterested in actually reading/writing scenes where they switch. I like the idea that they've experienced all the permutations with each other and that they're totally open to switching things up. But scenes where they switch are unlikely to do anything for me.

I wish I could be more flexible about it, because then I'd have more to read, but my brain is staunch in its preferences.

[(Anonymous)]

Yep I pretty much agree. That dynamic is really, really central to what I find hot.

[tabaqui]

Sounds good to me, OP!

Except I like my 'bottom' to me fighty as hell, more of a 'make me submit to you' vibe that involves actual bruises and possibly some impromptu bondage and everybody is getting off hard.

[philstar22]

That's just about my least favorite dynamic. Because then it feels like rape. Even if the bottom/unofficial sub is really consenting in their head, even if both characters know it, without formal rules where no=yes, it still feels like rape to me. And even in a fictional context, that is just a very big DNW for me. I want the rules, at least some of them. And if it isn't said at the outset that the bottom/sub doesn't really mean no, then I want a no to mean stop.

Then again, the thing I find hottest about a D/s dynamic is the sub choosing to submit. Not that they have to, not that they are forced to (even pretend-forced). It is the free and clear choice to stay and play, when either party could just up and walk away, that makes it hot for me.

[(Anonymous)]

OP - Nice! I like some of my subs fighty, some of the time (and in a more general sense, fighting-to-fucking has always been a major kink of mine). It really depends on the ship for me, I think. I like all my subs needy AF, but some of them are fighting really hard not to show it. In those cases, then the sub is probably fighty, because they're fronting like they aren't gagging for it and they're angry that they are gagging for it.

I will say, though, that while I like all my subs needy, ultra-smol and passive isn't my thing. Whether they're fighty or not, as people I like my subs strong, determined, passionate, etc.

[(Anonymous)]

Are you me? Did I submit this in my sleep?

[(Anonymous)]

OP - Thanks anon, I find this kind of comment so validating and I appreciate it. <3

[kallanda_lee]

This makes a lot of sense to me. I CA N enjoy some full-on BDSM dynamics, but then I also feel there's a lot of fics where it's just too formal, negotiated...etc etc. I also think that, even while knowing some things should not be projected in r/l dynamics, people have kinks and preferences. Erotica is not diversity hiring.

[(Anonymous)]

Erotica is not diversity hiring.

OP - Hahaha, yup, plus a thousand to this.

I also feel there's a lot of fics where it's just too formal, negotiated...etc etc.

Exactly, that's my issue, basically always. I just can't get into formal kink. No hate, it obviously works for a lot of people, but for me it just feels totally inert. I need it to be spontaneous and to develop unplanned. Which can be frustrating, because I'm also not personally into noncon or coercion at all. So the writing has to constantly thread that needle of "This is clearly consensual, and both characters are confident that it's consensual, even though they haven't actually had the conversation they would absolutely need to have IRL." Of course, words like "Yes," "Please," and "Don't stop," are pretty easy ways of broadly establishing consent--so I guess it isn't really that fine of a needle to thread lol.

[philstar22]

I'm the opposite. I hate when there are D/s dynamics without at least some rules. 95% at least of non-BDSM published erotica has the dynamic of the man or top being dominant and assumed to be so without any sort of the rules and protection for the bottom/woman that BDSM provides.

I love a D/s dynamic, but it needs to have rules for me.

[(Anonymous)]

#1 reason I rarely read non-fanfic erotica.

Well, that and not being into dominant men.

[(Anonymous)]

How is it "problematic" if it's something you personally enjoy? Does everyone have some obligation to be subversive?

[(Anonymous)]

Where my objection to this kind of dom!top/sub!bottom lies is when people say "oh, X is tall and dark and aggressive, he's a top" and "Y is short and blond and polite, he's a bottom". Very annoying and reductive and reminds me of being asked "but who's the man?" in my RL relationship. Someone who likes this configuration solely because they think it's hot? Totally fine. You're not saying it's characterisation or the way things must be.

[(Anonymous)]

Where my objection to this kind of dom!top/sub!bottom lies is when people say "oh, X is tall and dark and aggressive, he's a top" and "Y is short and blond and polite, he's a bottom". Very annoying and reductive

That's totally fair. But what about if someone says, "I love [A] as a dom!top because he's bigger than [B] and I love my D/s dynamics with a size difference," or something like that? Because I feel like people usually do have their own reasons for why they prefer the dynamic they do, and frankly, sometimes those reasons are kind of reductive. But I also don't personally feel like there's anything wrong with that, as long as the person isn't framing it in a way that suggests That's How Things Are, you know? Like, it's okay to like your dom!top characters big/tall/aggressive, it's just not super cool if the way you talk about it implies that of course [A] is the dom!top, because he's big and big=dominant, or he's aggressive and aggressive=dominant.

reminds me of being asked "but who's the man?" in my RL relationship.

Yeah, that is absolutely heteronormative AF and reductive and just weird and rude of people, and I'm sorry you have to deal with people making reductive assumptions, and also people asking rude, invasive questions, it fucking sucks.

[(Anonymous)]

X is tall and dark and aggressive

Y is short and blond and polite

These descriptions exactly fit my OTP, and the fandom has collectively decided that X is the bottom and Y is the top, I guess because it subverts expectations, but it's literally *all* that exists in fic, and I kind of wish writers would switch it up every now and then.

[(Anonymous)]

... taking into account that I am not willing to have sex in private but love some good old public sex smut, you do you, OP

[(Anonymous)]

(wait. I meant not in private and obviously not in public either. LOL)

[(Anonymous)]

The way you’re using the term “service top” kind of confused me here, but I get what you mean, I think. Nothing wrong with liking what you like when it comes to dominance and submission in shipping~

[(Anonymous)]

OP - People in the fandoms I'm in tend to use service dom and service top interchangeably, which might be the issue?

I'm never going to do any of this stuff IRL and only need to know what terms will get me to the fic I like, so I just go with it.

[(Anonymous)]

same, op

[(Anonymous)]

I like d/s dynamics often, but for some reason I have very little interest in penetration roles (assuming that's what you mean here with top and bottom?). Like it doesn't interest me at all or add anything special.

I get the feeling that for a lot of people top/bottom roles are even more important and meaningful that d/s roles? Outside of physically liking one type of sex more than another, I'm not sure why people are so into these roles?

[(Anonymous)]

Aw man, I missed this post. But yeah, I feel like I'm at the beginning of a similar journey regarding realizing how much of a difference informal D/s dynamics make in my enjoyment of smut. Non-con really hits the spot for me, though (in fact, part of starting this journey was finding a pairing I like where the characters canonically REALLY have this informal D/s vibe with each other and me realizing, "Wait a sec... I like these exact same sex acts when they're CONSENSUAL too??!"), and also I'll read more formal stuff too, but yeah, the negotiation and explicit consent (especially the more often it pops up in the scene itself) takes the exciting edge off it for me. It's best when it's pure unchecked self-indulgence on both of the characters' parts and they're both just a bit out of control (but in a way that's good for both of them). And yeah, for the most part, the dom penetrating works better. I can get into a scene where the dom is riding the sub and therefore controlling the sub's orgasm by bottoming, though. But in any case, the dom needs to have more control re: the pace and vigor of the sex, and I think that's easier to do when they're the one penetrating.