Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2022-12-26 06:35 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2022-12-26 06:35 pm
[ SECRET POST #5834 ]
⌈ Secret Post #5834 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #835.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: OP of Hawkeye's Kate Bishop 'Not Like Other Girls' Secret
(Anonymous) 2022-12-27 03:05 am (UTC)(link)So I found it a bit presumptive of some comments to conclude that what I thought of my former friend and the comment thread in general to be shallow in some way?
I don't think I need to tell the nitty gritty details of the friendship that I lost to try to get anyone to understand that my friend was a shitty friend/not as woke as she let off because of the way she consumed media.
Of course, there was more to the story than just my friend stans Kate Bishop but kept pitting her against other female characters needlessly, but I was just thinking like, "yeah those small things that sorta bothered me make a little bit more sense now lol".
My friendship did not end because of the way my former friend consumed media/due to who they stanned. This friendship spanned a lot of years and multiple fandoms. A lot of personal things happened and as I took a break from the friendship, I ruminated on some stuff that I used to brush aside and realized that maybe some of them were red flags. The whole Hawkeye/Kate Bishop stanning is a part of something bigger. One example, realizing how this friend and I would have small friend groups that usually end up in a trio and after so many weeks/months of the dynamic this friend of mine usually had a falling out with the third wheel. This feeling of a need to pit people against each other. If not, me needing to choose who is a better friend to me but just as many times I felt like I had to prove that I was worthy of this friend's attention.
And there are a lot of other things that play into my friendship but again, a lot of it is actually not fandom related. It's just some things in fandom/friend circles stuff, I began to notice patterns.
Also, I was not a perfect friend. And I'm not trying to claim that I was. I have my shortcomings as a human being, but I don't think I need to humble myself every time I want to be pissed off at someone for being shitty to me.
If you're feeling called out or something by a friend, I don't think I'm that friend. I just wanted to vent into the void. I swear, I'm not shading said former friend, hoping they read that secret to feel like shit. I don't even know if my former friend visits F!S.
Re: OP of Hawkeye's Kate Bishop 'Not Like Other Girls' Secret
(Anonymous) 2022-12-27 03:49 am (UTC)(link)I think it’s easy for that to happen here, where people are explaining themselves pretty briefly and the situation is actually complex.
Re: OP of Hawkeye's Kate Bishop 'Not Like Other Girls' Secret
(Anonymous) 2022-12-27 04:46 am (UTC)(link)Re: OP of Hawkeye's Kate Bishop 'Not Like Other Girls' Secret
(Anonymous) 2022-12-27 06:05 am (UTC)(link)Agreed that majority of the comments weren't that! And I'm sorry if I said or implied that. Toward the end of the thread a few comments came off a bit judgey so I think I was feeling defensive.
Re: OP of Hawkeye's Kate Bishop 'Not Like Other Girls' Secret
(Anonymous) 2022-12-27 06:47 am (UTC)(link)