[ SECRET POST #5888 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5888 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 41 secrets from Secret Submission Post #843.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

General comments:

(If the thread contains spoilery/triggery content please warn/post as 2nd comment so it collapses!
Please collapse images, too!)

Internet Bleeding into RL

[(Anonymous)]

How much of the internet do you feel has bled/is bleeding out into RL? In society at large and in your own life/day to day?

How do you feel about this? Does it feel like what was once a very separate thing from RL now blurs and toes the line with what's tangible?

I'd love to know people's opinions. I find it's a fascinating topic.

Re: Internet Bleeding into RL

[(Anonymous)]

I think the Internet is bleeding into RL, much more than I would like. Part of it was the corona mess, with everyone being trapped in their homes and desperate for distraction, and the Interwebs were Right There. Everyone got used to being online a lot, plus smart phones fix it so accessing the Internet is much easier and more convenient than it used to be.

Re: Internet Bleeding into RL

[(Anonymous)]

Unless I need to have detailed technical discussions, I communicate a lot at work with meme gifs. Luckily, I have a boss and the technology to support this (I also WFH 100%). I do end up having to teach one of my co-workers what most of the memes mean, though. She literally did not understand "Sure, Jan".

I don't feel this is much of a change for me personally at all. My friends at school all used to use movie quotes as shorthand in communication, and now we just get those references from the internet instead. It actually seems to make it a bit more universal.

Probably says a lot more about my experience of the informality of the modern workplace than it does about internet/RL barriers.

Re: Internet Bleeding into RL

[(Anonymous)]

There is little functional divide between online life and offline life these days, the line had been pretty blurred for the last few years anyway but the pandemic was the final straw on that one. Me? I'd roll it back to the 56k modem being state of the art days, if I could. Hell, I'd go back to pre-31st August 1993 days if I had the chance.

Re: Internet Bleeding into RL

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not that fussed. It just feels like it's a media forum that went from obscure to ubiquitous in the same way radio and tv must have before it as adoption slowly became universal.

One thing hiwever I don't like is how knowledge of the fanfic side of fandom has become mainstream, but it's still an 'embarrassing' hobby to be open about. Like, you can cosplay or watch anime or do dnd or game competitively and that's all fine, but if you write fanfic for a hobby you're still a weirdo. But that's because everyone knows that fanfic is full of degenerate porn lol.

Re: Internet Bleeding into RL

[(Anonymous)]

That is something I struggle with on the daily. Particularly because, growing up from an era when our online identities were almost expected to be totally separate from our real lives like the Supermen to our everyday Clark Kents into today... has been weird. Having been a fandom content creator but a "low profile" person IRL all this time, in the beginning I didn't bother having separate accounts for "different identities" so I still have a lot of online fandom friends of the oldens on Facebook for instance.

At some point people seem to have made choices, either "by the way, this identity is me too" and went on to work with fandom-related stuff, as a main or a side job, while others went "never saw her" and virtually erased their previous online identities. And, maybe it's the neurodivergent in me that sees and understand human actions logically but doesn't know how to act accordingly, since there was no one I could imitate as this was an unprecedented occurence (Internet and bleeding into RL that is) I just didn't know what to do and my life became VERY weird and confusing because of it all. The quarantine kinda helped me organize my thoughts by distancing myself from both sides (working locally and cons lol) and realizing just how much I was juggling while I tried to keep Mary Jane from finding out I was Spiderman or something, but it's still very confusing to me and my sense of identity is a little skewed up because of it all, to the point that going offline into my miserable life feels better sometimes (often) than being online in this new web. Also I miss my creative outlets. UX webdesigning for the corporate web is not creative at all. Wow, anyway, sorry for venting. Dis messy

Re: Internet Bleeding into RL

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's bleeding into RL a little too uncomfortably close. I tend to keep my socials fairly non-connected yet I feel them becoming more and more connected. People expect a face with an account. And IDK.

The internet is becoming a shared public space like walking through another part of town like a public park or something (is how I've been sort of playing out in my mind lately).

Shopping malls aren't really popular public shared places we go to anymore so "the internet" is becoming more of a public place we all generally share together during our free time.

And like a socially awkward child who prefers to exist in obscure places of relative anonymity who is suddenly having their space invaded by the rest of the world, I find it suffocating and like a place I can exist comfortably in anymore. I find myself coming here less and less.

Even literally here, F!S, I am wondering if even in anon status I am continually coming here in unhealthy ways and I should consider taking a break from here. I've been finding myself giving up fandom after fandom of trying to get into them and often lately I just keep coming back to seeing that it's this whole "present a personality on a public platform" that I struggle with.

Back in the late 1990s/2000s, there was something easy in knowing the spaces I went to "online" had a very certain version of myself that can be detached from the parts of me that weren't online.

Now though...I don't know. Again, I feel like so much of opening yourself up on these public platforms you're just leaving crumbs of yourself everywhere. And unlike real crumbs they all don't disappear quickly. Some of it can remain on here forever, just not in the ways you want it to.

I've opened up to a friend that I have a tendency to run away from intimacy because I'm afraid of getting hurt. The internet does so much damage, if I feel like it's too easy to attach the "real" me to the internet, I don't want to be on here like I've been on here for as long as I've been on here.

Re: Internet Bleeding into RL

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like I don't have much of a leg to stand on here given I met my husband on a writing website almost 19 years ago. For me, the internet bleeding into RL began long before internet-connected tech became mainstream, so the transition for me was strangely easy.

Re: Internet Bleeding into RL

[(Anonymous)]

The thing I've noticed most is how mean people have become, not just here, but just about everywhere online. I got savaged on another comm for saying I liked a movie that other people didn't.

Quantumania! (will likely contain spoilers)

[(Anonymous)]

Has anyone else seen this yet? What did you think?

Re: Quantumania! (will likely contain spoilers)

[(Anonymous)]

bump to collapse the thread

Re: Quantumania! (will likely contain spoilers)

[philstar22]

Not yet. Too much going on this weekend, going to see it next weekend. I did read spoilers, though, and it sounds awesome. I know the reviews are mixed, but I think that's mostly due to MCU fatigue and reviewers wanting a smaller-scale movie similar to the first two Ant Man movies, which this one was never going to be.

Re: Quantumania! (will likely contain spoilers)

[(Anonymous)]

Not seen it yet, but the reviews are bad, so I'll almost certainly love it when I do. I don't even do it on purpose to be contrary or ironic, I genuinely seem to like the movies the critics and rest of fandom hate. I actually hate this about myself. I wish I was on the same page as fandom rather than always being on the outside of it.

Re: Quantumania! (will likely contain spoilers)

[(Anonymous)]

Everything I've heard from people who've seen it has been mixed-to-negative and I'm iffy on MCU at the best of times so I almost certainly will not see it

Re: Quantumania! (will likely contain spoilers)

[(Anonymous)]

My husband is seeing it next week. I on the other hand will not see it because I missed the first two and don't see any reason to start watching them now, lol.



END SCENE SPOILER

Am keen to see the Loki season 2 trailer at the end of it though, once it gets uploaded to youtube. Very happy to continue watching the Loki/(/Loki/)Mobius b(/)romance

Controversial true crime opinions. (WARNING for murder, violent physical assault)

[(Anonymous)]

I was watching a true crime video about this murder spree:
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/oct/04/aaron-barley-homeless-man-who-murdered-woman-who-helped-him

and I had some unkind victim blamey thoughts. If you want to help a homeless person who's struggling with drug addiction, point them towards shelters, rehab, etc. or other resources available to them. You do not bring them home and let them in your house with your vulnerable underage child. You do NOT entwine your lives with that of a physically aggressive drug addict. I get that people want to feel very hands-on and rescue someone who desperately needs help... but jfc.

Re: Controversial true crime opinions. (WARNING for murder, violent physical assault)

[(Anonymous)]

I feel that struggle. On the one hand, people in general are kind and want to help, especially in this stupid society where we tell people falsely that societal ills can only be fixed by individual action.

On the other hand, omg don't bring strangers into your house.

Re: Controversial true crime opinions. (WARNING for murder, violent physical assault)

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah. It's complicated because, fuck, they didn't deserve to die, but at the same time, they were taking one hell of a risk by letting a stranger, who was homeless, who struggled with a drug addiction, into their home and lives like that. And that risk unfortunately caused two deaths--one of them of their kid. The dad gets to live with that for the rest of his life. God. But also good. Because that kid had no choice in the matter. No voice in the risk.

It's admirable they wanted to help. It was fucking stupid the way they went about it. I'm really sorry it backfired on them but also not that surprised either.

Re: Controversial true crime opinions. (WARNING for murder, violent physical assault)

[(Anonymous)]

Not sure about this case (never heard of it) but what you said sounds like common sense, indeed, anon. People should be more careful with strangers, that's basic.

Re: Controversial true crime opinions. (WARNING for murder, violent physical assault)

[tabaqui]

This exactly. There are a ton of ways to help without bringing a complete stranger with a possibly violent past into your home.

I mean - I work at a shelter, and many of the women who come in have been abused, sometimes for most of their lives. BUT - and I say this without blaming them, because this is learned behavior - many of them are manipulative, secretive, have a lot of mental health issues, and will lie as easily as breathe. This is learned, survival behavior, and we don't hold it against them, but the potential for aggression and violence is there in a lot of them (and I have seen it first hand).

Doesn't stop us from helping, we just have to find other ways to help that are safe for everyone.

Re: Controversial true crime opinions. (WARNING for murder, violent physical assault)

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I can understand that. It's great to want to help someone, but people need *appropriate* help. If it were someone with a physical injury or disease you would try to get them to a hospital or a doctor, not take them home and hope for the best, and it shouldn't be any different with addiction, mental illness, ect. You need more than good intentions to be able to deal with some things.

Re: Controversial true crime opinions. (WARNING for murder, violent physical assault)

[(Anonymous)]

=\

Yeah, situations like this I try really hard not to get victim blamey but it's like...sometimes your personal good intentions will not be enough to pacify the world. We want to believe that goodness wins, but...life is unpredictable and not as easy as we want it to be. We have to be cautious if we want to protect those who we love/care for close to us as well as try to make the world a better place. Our loved ones' lives and safety matter too and should never be overlooked. That can happen (from my personal experiences) when we seek to be more altruistic towards the world at large.

Re: Controversial true crime opinions. (WARNING for murder, violent physical assault)

[(Anonymous)]

I thought this was going to be a thread about general controversial true crime opinions...

In case anyone else thought that, mine is IDI.

(FWIW OP I don't think you're bad for thinking what you thought, depressing though it is)

How was everyone's Saturday

[(Anonymous)]

I am very drunk and having a good day.