[ SECRET POST #6034 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6034 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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05. [WARNING for discussion of rape/sexual assault]




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06. [WARNING for discussion of suicidal ideation]

[Clockwise: Puella Magi Madoka Magica / Halo 4 / Ninomae Ina'nis / Enya]


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07. [WARNING for transphobia]

































Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 30 secrets from Secret Submission Post #862.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

This. It's very hostile, for one. It also never acknowledges the subjectivity of the secret poster's perceptions or feelings. There's no "I feel like" statements, or "IMO" statements, or anything of the like. They're stating their (rather demanding and disagreeable) feelings and opinions as facts.

It's so glaring that I'm honestly on the fence whether they're a troll or not. Not because their feelings aren't believable--I can easily believe plenty of people have these feelings. But the way they're phrasing them is so dickish is feels intentional.

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt

Do they have to specify that it's their opinion though? Whose else would it be? I didn't take it as a personal attack. Obviously they're talking about their feelings? I may not agree with the OP but I'm not over here feeling insulted like you seem to be.

[(Anonymous)]

Very well put! (In my opinion.)

[(Anonymous)]

Do they have to specify that it's their opinion though?

Yes, that's generally how conversing socially works. It's inadvisable to state subjective things as objective facts and expect others to intuit that you actually meant, "In my subjective opinion." Generally one does in fact need to phrase their opinion as an opinion, by saying "In my opinion," or, "The way I see it," or, "I think," or, "To me it seems like," or, "I feel," or literally any one of a hundred other appropriate phrasing patters that acknowledges they do not perceive themselves to be the arbiter of reality on this matter, and leaves the door open for differing perspectives.

Otherwise they tend to get a lot of responses like the OP is getting ITT.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm confident enough in my own perspective that I simply don't feel threatened if someone chooses not to add "in my opinion." I did notice you're not using those phrases in articulating your own opinions on how people should speak. If you're comfortable with wording your opinions as fact, then why should the OP reword their secret to please you?

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed \o/

[(Anonymous)]

lol course you do

[(Anonymous)]

I sure do u bitter lemon :3

[(Anonymous)]

Do they have to specify that it's their opinion though?

Is this genuinely a question you need to ask?? O_o

Yes, you need to specify. Stating a fact and giving an opinion are two different things. You cant do one and expect people to respond as if you did the other. This is communicating 101, anon. Okay, maybe 201; it comes after 'say please' and 'don't interrupt other people when they're talking.'

[(Anonymous)]

That's just like your opinion man

[(Anonymous)]

DA, but...

It's exactly as much of an opinion as "if you omit the word please before you ask someone to do something, they may well interpret what you're trying to do as giving them an order as opposed to asking them to do you a favor." In other words, it's a social norm that is widely held, and you will get rude replies for ignoring. Because the people around you will very likely think you were intentionally rude to them, first.

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds kind of like an opinion.

[(Anonymous)]

Most social norms boil down to expectations, backed up by actions. They are collective opinions as opposed to individual points of view, but the likelihood of getting rebuked for obliviously ignoring it is pretty high. All online communities I've ever interacted with have these.

The first person this thread replies to was wondering why people were being hostile. Explanation was provided. Breaking a social norm that has the general implication of "people who don't do this are expressing disrespect to the people listening to them" has the logical consequence that people respond in kind: sharply and harshly.

If the OP had said "I hate kudos. I get discouraged and stop writing when no one praises my fics with actual comments." people would probably be tired of the sentiment, but they'd pull their punches more than when they're hearing "I hate kudos, I work so much when I write and pressing a button is lazy. It's so easy to comment!" I've seen the difference between replies when people feel nagged and replies when people feel like the secret poster has an opinion they don't like but is owning that it's basically their problem.