fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6089 ]

[ SECRET POST #6089 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6089 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Ingrid Goes West]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 07 secrets from Secret Submission Post #870.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

For all your petty but harmless whining and complaining.

I've had a dry cough for days. So annoying.:(

Ugh, those are the worst :(

After having to wait for the Playstation release of Baldur's Gate 3 I could theoretically finally play it but I'm completely stuck on the character creation.

With D&D based games, I usually always play a certain character race and class but I'm not entirely in love with the available face presets for the race in question. So it's mainly a matter of if I should be breaking my own tradition or not. And that's not even starting on the class I want to play - usually I play rogues but having played Divinity by the same publisher, I found rogue to be not an ideal class. Meh. I just want to play the game already but my own brain sabotages me.

I swear Bon Appetit is having an editorial crisis, and it's making me cringe whenever I see that publication's pieces turn up in search results.

Their youtube series had a crisis so I would not be shocked.

There are far too few medieval era-inspired word search puzzle books to satiate me. A decidedly niche hobby, medieval era-inspired word search puzzle books.

I didn't know there were *any*.

More on topic: I can't seem to be happy much these days. All I can wonder is whose deaths would improve the world-- and would it be enough?

My mother is going to make me sick from stress or end up killing me by causing my blood sugars to rise from stress and improper, unbalanced eating.

How old are you? Can you feel yourself?

Re: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

(Anonymous) - 2023-09-08 01:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

(Anonymous) - 2023-09-08 02:49 (UTC) - Expand

I'm a complete mental wreck at this point. Had sleep issues for years. But it was always manageable. This year has been generally awful, though. And various things have gotten me into a cycle a couple times where I couldn't sleep, was scared to sleep, and then was more scared to sleep because of how tired I was.

I honestly think at this point I'm scared of sleep. Scared to sleep, scared not to sleep, just nighttime in general is causing anxiety. I find it a little easier to sleep when it is still light.

I have a therapist, though I'm not seeing her until next week. But I'm not sure what to do, not sure how I can keep functioning like this.

I'm a complete wreck.

Honestly I think at this point my house triggers anxiety. I'll be fine at work, even when I'm exhausted. But as soon as I get home, the anxiety picks up.

what if you kept a lamp on in your room at night? maybe it would feel less like nighttime? especially if it has a brighter bulb.

Damn, I could've written this. But in my case, it's mostly physical.

Re: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

(Anonymous) - 2023-09-08 00:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

(Anonymous) - 2023-09-08 00:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

(Anonymous) - 2023-09-08 00:59 (UTC) - Expand

I'm gonna start biting if I see another person conflating top/bottom and dom/sub.

Oh man good luck anon, it's been a constant gripe of mine for years that most dom/sub is just repackaged top/bottom roles with added humiliation and daddy-kink I don't often want. There is some d/s I enjoy but it's sparingly little.

Hard agree. And also, sub!top and/or bottom!dom can be really hot.

Re: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

(Anonymous) - 2023-09-08 02:13 (UTC) - Expand

I fell out of bed early Tuesday morning and landed elbow-first. I managed to keep my head from hitting the floor, but I think I fucked up my neck, shoulders and back in the process. Luckily, I pulled down the covers with me, which cushioned my hip a little bit. I don't think anything's broken, but woof am I ever sore and stove-up. My baseline pain is generally only a 7 on the pain scale, but I haven't gone lower than 9 since the fall. I'm going to see my pain doctor tomorrow, but honestly I don't know what they can even do to help.

I have a baseline high pain level due to autoimmune crap, but when I fell up some stairs and then down the same stairs, it was the only time that the things supposed to help with pain (heat, ice, stretching, warm bath, a physiotherapist visit) actually did. I was surprised, since I was used to trying pain relief techniques and them failing, but I guess this was a different kind of pain this time.

I can't read anything more than the most basic thoughts or emotions from facial expressions, at all. Not once in my life have I ever looked at a person's face and known exactly what their expression meant. Simple, nebulous things like happiness, sadness, anger are easy, but it sounds like occasionally everyone else is able to read something more specific, like "I can tell from the way this person looks at this other person that they're deeply in love" or "I can tell this man thinks I'm stupid and beneath him because I'm young and a girl, I can see it in his eyes" ... and I just don't understand how? How do you glean that level of specificity from an expression? I'm noticing it more and more in every book I read, and thing I watch, and I'm afraid something is wrong with me.

And I'm definitely not autistic or any other neurodivergent explanation. There are too many other basic criteria for those that I don't have. I'm just stupid.

i think it's really hard to tell what a person is thinking based on their expression/body language unless you already know that person and are pretty familiar with how they normally look and act. example: someone might look angry but it's actually resting bitch face.

Re: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

(Anonymous) - 2023-09-08 01:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

(Anonymous) - 2023-09-08 02:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

(Anonymous) - 2023-09-08 14:36 (UTC) - Expand

I'm sick of having no energy of having to consume caffeine to feel alive . Tomorrow I'm gonna call the doctors and figure out how to report my GP

She lowered my synthroid dosage by half just because "it's too high" and apparently didn't not know that I was missing a WHOLE DAMN THYROID and that's why

When informed she just told me to see a specialist which with most insurances costs more money and also is something I've never had to do with previous doctors .

And in the end she never did bring it back up to normal levels .which left me gradually more and more lethargic .

And just today I had an spit with her but something came up last minute.

*Grumble* I'm done with her

I have some health issues that worry me. I am going to a doctor's next week. But 1) they have like 12 minutes for a patient including doing paperwork on a ancient computer 2) I don't know this doctor and most doctors are youngsters who know shit 3) our clinics stress the hell out of me and keep forgetting what health issues I have
So. Making a bet that my only "issue" would be diagnosed that I am too fat so fucking fat /s

Re: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

(Anonymous) - 2023-09-08 12:51 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Would you like some cheese with that whine?

(Anonymous) - 2023-09-08 20:14 (UTC) - Expand

I just want my executive function to actually function for longer than fifteen fucking minutes at a time, and that's on a good day.

Also I want to see a psychiatrist in case there's anything I can do or meds I could take that would help with that, but making appointments requires the executive function I don't have.

Plus, trying to actually get an appointment through my HMO beyond the initial screening was almost impossible pre-pandemic, when the wait time to get an appointment once I'd gone through the initial, are you actively in crisis screening was three months, plus three months between appointments. I've heard it's even worse these days, as there are fewer clinicians and more people needing help.

I understand why my HMO focuses on helping people in the midst of actual mental health crises, like incipient job or homelessness, substance abuse, and suicidal ideation.

I'm so glad I have a steady job, a place to live, don't have issues with (or ever use) alcohol or other drugs, and am not suicidal.

But for the love of fuck, I would like to get some help for my executive dysfunction and anxiety and figure out wtf else is going on in my borked brain before I need active crisis intervention!

Like, I would like to make a doctor appointment or clean my house without my brain being like "so you want to climb Mount Everest? Good fucking luck getting off the couch, asshole."

I'm debating going back through old fic I wrote to fix formatting errors like bad paragraph spacing, but since I'm pretty much my only reader right now, I'm not sure what the point would be. Is it even worth futureproofing for anyone who stumbles on it in future, or - since some of these fics are over a decade old - have I already shot my shot?