[ SECRET POST #6107 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6107 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #873.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Silly dilemma

[(Anonymous)]

So a general fandom group I'm part of is approaching that time of year again... the Secret Santa exchange.

I had a mixed experience last year (I even ranted about it once here). Got a great gift, but wasn't even acknowledged for the gift I gave. It left a bad taste in my mouth but I said nothing to anyone. I really don't want to make a big deal and start acting like I'm entitled to some sort of compensation for being ignored. Yes, even though I think it's just basic courtesy to THANK somebody for their gift. I don't mind if it was hated, but the lack of acknowledgment sucks.

The dilemma? I want to sign up again despite all of that. But... if that same person signs up again, there's a chance I could get matched with them again. Now, I know that when I sign up for events, I do take that risk of not being acknowledged (even though people shouldn't have to prepare for that shit). But I kind of want to say something to the organizers too? Like I said, I'm not entitled to anything, I get it. But I'd hate it if that person turned around and ignored their gift giver this year too (though part of me suspects that won't happen). On the other hand, I don't want to stir up some unnecessary shit, and then the organizers feel obligated to explicitly state something like "please be courteous and thank your gift-giver" (which should already be understood) and ruin something that should be fun and lighthearted.

I'm sure I'm just overthinking it though. Maybe I'll get over it in the meantime. Hell, maybe that person won't even sign up this time. One can only hope.

Re: Silly dilemma

[(Anonymous)]

Been there, and I feel you. :(

Depends on the experience level and bandwidth of the organizers, but I've noticed some exchanges have a policy that any recipient who fails to acknowledge their gift can't participate the following year.

Sorry, I don't have a solution, just commiserating. It feels a lot worse than silly to get ghosted like that.

Re: Silly dilemma

[(Anonymous)]

No, you're good, I was just venting. Thanks for the comment, and you're right, it doesn't feel great. Especially when they're clearly present, gushing over other people's stuff. Yeesh.

Well, I decided to sign up, and I'll check the participant list occasionally. If I see that person on it, I'll probably say something to the organizer. Worded very carefully of course.

Re: Silly dilemma

[(Anonymous)]

I hate it when people do that. I've been in exchanges (smaller ones, which probably helps) where the mods are more diligent about making it clear people are expected to respond to their gift, and those who don't aren't allowed to sign up again. It's silly that such a thing has to be enforced, but honestly, people will sign up for exchanges with the best of intentions and then flake because they cannot, will not be honest with themselves about being able to finish.

Re: Silly dilemma

[(Anonymous)]

Talk to the mods and say you don't want to be matched with your last year's recipient due to this reason. If that's not the kind of thing they do, they can say so.