[ SECRET POST #6424 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6424 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Overwatch 2]



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[Ant-man and the Wasp]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 16 secrets from Secret Submission Post #918.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. https://i.imgur.com/DZ5LlBV.jpeg

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure if you're referring to redemption arcs, badly done redemption arcs, or just terrible events that happen to characters and make them reflect on life (and I guess any misdeeds, to whatever degree).

But I would say this kind of "180," as you put it, can work for specific characters whose original personalities were something like a "Care Bear who makes tea," but an event in canon turned them bad/bitter/evil or forced them into a situation where they had to perform a certain way for survival.

[(Anonymous)]

There is a weird sort of desperation in a lot of fandoms, for any character they either perceive as "soft" or consider their "comfort character" to be completely and helplessly at the mercy of their wildly uncontrolled emotions and random panic attacks. And for them to be incapable of existing in the world without constant reassurance from, and reliance on, the functional parentification of whoever the fans ship that character with.

[(Anonymous)]

A lot of people in fandom have a really codependent idea of what love should be. The participants are not equals, and are not whole in and of themselves. One (or more) is helpless, reliant on the care of the other; and one experiences validation through the helplessness of the other, through the fact that they're "needed."

It's just occurred to me that this is part of why I tend not to like hurt/comfort fics.

[(Anonymous)]

This is epidemic in my fandom and I HATE IT. Sucks all the sexiness right out of the ship.

[(Anonymous)]

I've seen this outside of fandom as well:

“The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did.”

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/9463589-the-loneliest-people-are-the-kindest-the-saddest-people-smile

Honestly, I think it's a lot to unpack, and I don't think it's necessarily true. I think people LIKE to think it's true, because sometimes people romanticize sadness, loneliness and trauma and they want to think it imbues them with some special gift, somehow. I've met damaged people who were wise and kind. I've also met some damaged people who were real assholes and didn't learn anything except how to inflict damage on others. But that doesn't fit in with the "my trauma makes me special and better than people who didn't suffer like I did" narrative.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah. A lot of people who suffer wind up wanting to get to inflict suffering, because they think that doing so will allow them to overcome their sense of powerlessness. Some think that, because they suffered, it's only fair that others suffer in the same way. Some come away with the mindset that, since they were able to overcome their suffering, others should be able to; or that since they were made better by their suffering, suffering itself is beneficial. And, on that note:

But that doesn't fit in with the "my trauma makes me special and better than people who didn't suffer like I did" narrative.

I don't think people consider how this narrative actually contributes to the perpetuation of suffering.

[(Anonymous)]

I think that sometimes when you're on the receiving end of trauma, it leaves you damaged and well, that's it. Not everyone gets better, or stronger, or uses that experience to become a better person. That's just wishful thinking. Some people just stay damaged, or spiral even further because they don't manage their trauma well, and it affects their relationships and how they treat others, which might create more damage.

Believing that trauma or loneliness imbues you with some sort of special sensitivity to others' pain can be true, sometimes. But I'd go so far as to say that's more rare than common, and trying to cling to the belief that oh no, the trauma made me special and wise is really, really unhealthy. Trauma doesn't make you wise or sensitive. People can grow past their traumatic experiences, but that's through some combination of therapy and hard work on their part to manage their trauma, not the trauma itself.