[ SECRET POST #6483 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6483 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 36 secrets from Secret Submission Post #926.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Would you be in a relationship with someone who cheated before, multiple times?

Does it depend on who they are? Or the circumstances they were in? Or the circumstances they are in now? Do you care at all? Or is that a hard "no" line for you?

[(Anonymous)]

Depends, what am I getting out of it?

[(Anonymous)]

What would be enough?

[(Anonymous)]

What do you got?

nayrt

[(Anonymous)]

$2,000 a week.

[(Anonymous)]

MULTIPLE times? Hell no. Even with special circumstances, it's clear their priorities don't include being monogamous/faithful. Move on.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm mostly curious how much it matters to people here because not everyone's priorities are monogamy/faithfulness either, so maybe some don't mind.

[(Anonymous)]

If you're good with multiple partners, that's perfectly fine, as long as your multiple partners all feel the same. I don't judge folks who enjoy an arrangement where everybody is on board, regardless of what it is (just as long as it's also consenting).

But CHEATING means a lack of faithfulness. If you signed up for something where nobody in the relationship cheats, and someone cheats, then that's a problem. If there wasn't such an agreement, then having multiple partners wouldn't be cheating. Someone could be hurt by the misunderstanding, but it's not cheating.

[(Anonymous)]

Are they rich as fuck and I get some if they die?

[(Anonymous)]

Are those your hard reqs? I don't know, you tell me where your line is!

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like if I married that person because they're a billionaire and I get a nice lifestyle, I'll look the other way.

Not if I married them for love, though.

[philstar22]

Probably not. Definitely not in an actual relationship. Maybe potentially sex-only, but I'd probably feel uncomfortable sleeping with someone so terrible unless there had been genuinely extenuating circumstances.

[(Anonymous)]

Can you think of a 'genuinely extenuating circumstance'?

This goes for anyone reading this, I'm curious what you all would consider one. I'm sure it'll be different ones for different people

[philstar22]

Not really for multiple, TBH, unless someone has really bad luck. Like, if you are being abused and can't leave, I'm maybe okay with cheating.

Nope

[(Anonymous)]

Why would I volunteer for that misery?

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe if they paid me. But then it isnt a real relationship but more of a job, I suppose.

[(Anonymous)]

Nope. I've been cheated on before and it sucked, so I wouldn't be able to trust someone who has cheated before.

[(Anonymous)]

Probably not, but I suppose there's a good chance that they might hide it or re-word their past relationship to make it seem like they didn't 'really' cheat...
That said, if someone was out-right honest and said that they use to cheat and are trying to change - maybe? It would depend on the person and my own life choices in that specific scenario, but ideally I wouldn't go further than dating - but idk.

[(Anonymous)]

You mean, in a romantic relationship? No. That sounds like way to much trouble and I don't see the point of setting myself up for inevitable drama and disappointment. Dating someone with no history of infidelity is already challenging enough, why make my life harder?

[(Anonymous)]

Definitely depends on circumstances. If they like, lacked impulse control and flirted or made out with people at parties or whatever in the past while trying to be monogamous, that's fine. That's a very different thing from like, lying in ways that might expose someone to an sti, which I wouldn't be okay with.

[(Anonymous)]

Cheated on me once? Maybe, depending on the circumstances - was the relationship much newer kinda thing, I could maybe forgive. I could also maybe forgive a one time offense if it was like, a mental illness compulsion kind of situation, ie the reckless endangerment that some personality disorders struggle with. Multiple times, hell no.

[(Anonymous)]

Personally? No. But I'm also not that big on relationships in the first place, so it's not like I'm giving anything up.

As someone who often gets cheaters coming up to me and confess unprompted (just one of those faces, I guess): a (to me) surprising percentage of spouses decide to stay with the cheating partner even after learning of the affair. And I'm not talking wives dependant on the husband's income.


The most surprising case to me was a husband whose wife had cheated on him for months and gotten pregnant! The baby was without question from the affair. The husband did some soul-searching and ultimately decided to not only stay with the wife but also decided to accept parentage of the child. I don't know how it is in the US but over here, when you sign your name on the dotted line, that's it. The kid is irrevocably yours in the eye of the law. Mad respect for the guy.

[(Anonymous)]

I'd probably only proceed after lots of conversations with the guy learning about what happened. I'd also ask my husband to meet him and provide his feedback.

[(Anonymous)]

Nope. You cheat once, you're out the door.

I'm keenly aware it stems from having to witness my dad cheat on my mom routinely with my mom only ever getting violently angry, unable to leave my dad (because my grandma divorced my grandpa and my mom doesn't want to end up like her mom).

My level of trust doesn't go far and if anyone were to try to test these limits, they will find out how easily I am willing to cut people out of my life.
Took me a long, long time to learn to stop giving people so many chances.

[(Anonymous)]

It depends on how they, themselves, talk about it. If they seem to have a good understanding of what they did, why, how it affected others and have taken steps to change or avoid things getting to that point again, then I would. If it was more like: Excuse, excuse and here is why I'm the real victim; then no. But there is a lot of ground between those two things, and I guess I'd just have to judge what's best for myself because there isn't really a right or wrong answer.