[ SECRET POST #6490 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6490 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Dilbert]



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[Deltarune, Big Shot]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 38 secrets from Secret Submission Post #928.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. https://i.imgur.com/ORYN2GK.png

[(Anonymous)]

I feel you. I often like having those discussions because I find it interesting, but there are definitely days where I know I shouldnt engage because my brain is in sensitive mode and I will take it the wrong way and get upset.

Honestly it is good (and impressive) you are self aware and know your limits. I feel like so many people dont and then blame others.

CommentSecret OP

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks. This is a more charitable, kinder way of looking at it . I should start going easier on myself hehe.

I do like to think I've grown some over time . Partly due to not wanting to be seen as the type of person others would consider wanky, hatable or mock-worthy deep down but also just ..idk maturing.. I did/said some embarrassing shit in my younger years and it HAUNTS me

[(Anonymous)]

I don’t think it’s pathetic at all! I can’t speak for you or anyone else but I share my fic so that anyone who would enjoy it can find it. But it would majorly bum me out to learn/know that what sparks my muse is the same stuff my social circle actively avoids or even hates. But I couldn’t care less if anyone else felt the same way about what I write. I think that for me it’s because I want to be accepted and respected by my group. I haven’t experienced that very much in my lifetime so it’s important to me. And all fic I write is idfic so rejecting the tropes, pairings, etc is also rejecting me. And that hurts :(

[(Anonymous)]

DA/Not OP

I post my fics for the same reason and have always been open about it.
Had some situations in the past where some friends made flippant comments about things they hated in fanfics and I realize my fic(s) have those things.
ToT
I tell myself my friends likely aren't shading me, but it always hurts my feelings and I get extremely insecure about my writings.

[(Anonymous)]

I was going to say I really don't care about this, but then I remembered I have two alts for posting idfic, hahahahaha.

[ariakas]

If it makes you feel any better, the reason people complain about a lot of that stuff is because it's so popular - i.e., while some of the people you know might not like it, you're probably in good company (and hell, some of your friends might like it too, they just don't want to rock the boat).

[(Anonymous)]

This is absolutely true.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I have to agree. I've admitted to wanting more variety in my fandom. And in my case, that's actually a big part of it, so maybe that's how it is for them. I don't want people to stop writing those kinds of fics, I just wish more than that was being posted.

That being said, I also watch who I express those feelings to so that people like OP don't get their feelings hurt.

[(Anonymous)]

It can be hard to hear that others don't like something that you do, especially if you find that something fulfilling. There's nothing really wrong with avoiding unnecessary discussion that you know will make you feel bad. That's actually pretty good self-care.

[(Anonymous)]

I had a friend who seemed really excited about my omegaverse fic I was writing so I gifted it to her. only for her to later tell me she doesn't like the intersex omegas I write and that she has to imagine it as anal sex instead so I was like '...o i c' and I felt like shit. can relate I guess?

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, sucks, but that one's on you. Huge difference between "regular" abo and intersex kink.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeeaaaaaaaaaaaah, intersex omegas is not 'traditional' a/b/o. I know I actively avoid it myself because it triggers my dysphoria. I read a/b/o because traditionally there is a LACK of vagina, and throwing one in there with a dick doesn't change the fact that it's still there and it's still being used. No thank you.

[(Anonymous)]

At the very least, anon should have asked the friend before dumping their niche kink on them and then pouting about the friend not being appropriately grateful...

[(Anonymous)]

Writing is such a delicate bubble of belief anyway that it's a vulnerable spot for most people, I think.

Commentsecret OP

[(Anonymous)]

I think part of it is bc due to bullying in my earlier years and low selfesteem and a lot of internalized ableism (I'm neurodivergent) writing was the one thing I felt I was "good for" in a lot of ways (yeah I know it's not healthy but I was in a bad place back then)

So seeing all the hate that some people gave the ONE thing I felt for the longest time was my only redeeming skill just... yeah

I'm getting better and thankfully i've grown a lot more self awarness

Wow now that I put it out there like that.. I just feel like young me just needs a hug.

Re: Commentsecret OP

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT
that makes total sense. Hugs to young you!

RSD

[(Anonymous)]

I was going to say, have you explored the concept of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which is essentially a (usually neurodivergent) traumatic learned reaction to anything that even whispers like it could be a rejection or criticism. Because when we are kids constantly getting social rejections it sucks, and we've learned that when our friends (or "friends") criticize something that they know we do, in front of us, it means we need to stop doing it if we want to keep the friendship. Because people have ended friendships with us for that thing and even less helpful things.

RSD isn't a formal diagnosis, it's an observation from within the neurodivergent community that has proved extremely useful to many of us.

(Likely AuDHD here; diagnosed on the ADHD but not the Au, my dad definitely was autistic but that insight arrived too late in his life to make much of a difference)

[forgottenjester]

Well that comments section discussion a few days ago was probably not up your ally then, huh? It's not pathetic, as you can tell from everyone's comments here. If there is a way for you to grow to not be as affected by it as you currently are they would be beneficial to you. However, it's not mandatory in any way. I just think it would be helpful for your overall well-being. That said, easier said than done.

Commentsecret OP

[(Anonymous)]

..i didn't wanna admit it bc I didn't want to make people feel bad for talking about it but... that's what made me think of it.

Though tbh I do feel like people nowadays aren't as idk nasty about talking about types of fic they hate.

I suppose it depends on the culture of the space. Though the worst are when people phrase as "red flags for shitty/badfic" which just yeeeah"

At least when it's phrased more as a personal thing than an objective statement of writing quality it's not AS bad.

Re: Commentsecret OP

[forgottenjester]

This is very true. Remember FicBitches and the like from livejournal days? Or there was some other community just about showing off bad fic and making fun of it. I used to think it was funny but now that I've gotten older I've realized it's just mean. Cruel to the writer who was just trying their best to have fun and participate. I do enjoy this kinder side of fandom.

Everyone has their tastes but there's a backbutton for a reason. I just get frustrated when stuff isn't tagged.

But hey, if there's any way another person can help you lemme know. For me it was going to college and getting my shit ripped apart in class but it was a very trial-by-fire that I don't think is for everyone.

Re: Commentsecret OP

[(Anonymous)]

A lot of the comments complain about how *popular* the thing they don't like is, meaning most people in their fandom actually love it, when this topic comes up. Someone personally disliking something that you write doesn't mean no one likes it, or that you are bad for liking it. The complainers just want to complain about their pet peeves and will soon move on to find fic more to their tastes.

That said fandom is meant to be a fun hobby and you are completely allowed to avoid things that bring you down. Sometimes people word criticisms quite harshly. I understand having irrational triggers and feeling vulnerable about your writing. I don't get it with fandom so much but I can take others' opinions too personally sometimes myself.

[(Anonymous)]

Aww OP, I have definitely been there. I still develop insecure feelings and question my tastes/skills from time to time. I can't help it.

Feel your feelings OP. You can't help how you feel, you know?

For me, I often have to remind myself that 1) not everyone likes the same things, 2) there is no piece of media that is so universally loved that has no flaws, 3) given how popular some things are despite seeing FS comments/comments on socials say they don't like said popular thing, it means what I read/write has appeal and maybe I don't need to consider all the comments I read so often, and 4) some things that I cannot stand are praised to the high heavens on FS/other socials so it's fair that they don't like things I like.
Oh and constantly telling myself, "I like what I like and that's OK."

SA

[(Anonymous)]

I read the comments in this thread and I wish you the best OP. I agree with the commenters who said you are doing good self-care by not interacting with things that make you feel bad.

I also grew up insecure (also neurodivergent) and bullied/scapegoated quite a bit, when I got into writing it was possibly the first hobby/skill that I felt I was "good" at that gave me positive attention that felt "earned", and so I can be really sensitive to criticism. I also know when I have limitations with exposure to hearing what people don't like about fanfics/writing/fiction storytelling.

[arcanetrivia]

Idk if it's pathetic. I totally get why you would feel this way. It's hard to hear that the stuff that naturally comes out of you is a non-starter that could never be acceptable to someone whose approval you want.