[ SECRET POST #6566 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6566 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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03.
[The Boy and the Heron]



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05. [SPOILERS for And Just Like That... (Sex and the City sequel)]




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06. [SPOILERS for Arcane Season 2]




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07. [WARNING for discussion of assault/abuse]




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08. [WARNING for discussion of noncon]




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09. [WARNING for discussion of sexual assault/abuse]















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #938.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

it's easy to say you need couples counseling and to make decisions about your life, but I'll come at you from the POV of someone who's been RPing for about 15 years.

you're hinging your emotional wellbeing on someone who may not even think about you when he's not on the computer. I have lost track of the number of RP friends who came crying because the RP partner they thought was their best friend dropped them as soon as they got into a new fandom. I have seen people who thought they were the best communicators absolutely sure of where they stand in a friendship turn shocked when the other person literally just saw them as a fun dispensor, not a friend. And that's "just" friends, to say nothing of the explosions of fake internet girlfriends who also had no actual commitment but words on a screen.

you don't know this guy is into you or worth ruining your present life over. He might legit not even give two fucks about you and the good morning messages are basic politeness. If you have marital problems that need to get worked out, mental health problems that need better treatment, etc, this situation is revealing them to you. Deal with them. Only then can you look seriously into the actual nature of your RP partnership. Do you really want your mental health problems unmanaged when he inevitably drops your RP for a better writer or new fandom?

[(Anonymous)]

this is a good pov to consider

[(Anonymous)]

da

it's good to consider both possibilities. it might be just RP and the other person doesn't care. it could be the start of far more than that, and shouldn't be dismissed because it's 'just RP' because i've seen relationships break apart over that too when it turns out to not be 'just RP'

[(Anonymous)]

anon you replied to here: oh for sure, I just felt like the above anons pov was a different take I hadn't thought of so replied as I did

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

oh sorry i wasnt disagreeing, i was adding on :)

[(Anonymous)]

Yet a third da

Yeah. I've seen people overstate the importance of their online relationships, but it feels like absolutely everything in offline life, for years, has been pressuring people to assume they're basically nothing. The online relationships that become something other people have to take seriously manage this feat despite the social disbelief - but they're becoming increasingly prevalent. I know quite a few people my age who met their spouse online. Three close friends in a poly triad met while role-playing, and it's been over a decade since they moved in together.

I will acknowledge that there is a pattern of people feeling super close to the people they only interact with online because in a sense the risk of saying something and having it be taken badly is lower: if you pour your heart out to someone and it freaks them out, generally that just results in not hanging out anymore. It's not like you're going to awkwardly run into them anywhere or have them badmouth you to friends and relatives. And if you tell them exactly how you're doing and they respond with empathy, wow, that worked out. More trust develops.

But ... on the one hand, attention is a precious commodity. Whether you're doing something in person or doing it over the internet, it's taking time from the only life you or they have. When shared voluntarily, that's pretty damn special. On the other hand, you don't really develop a sense of whether the bond you have with someone online would translate into their being willing to put themselves out for you in any other way. The mundane work of living together doesn't exist on the internet.

So - I guess what I'm saying is, don't sell short the partner who's physically there for you. It's easy for minor annoyances to eat away at the joy of literally being close enough to touch and help each other out, and for "but I always have fun with this other person who wants nothing but my company" to become a pattern that makes putting work into your marriage harder.