[ SECRET POST #6774 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6774 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Knives Out]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 10 secrets from Secret Submission Post #969.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

General comments:

(If the thread contains spoilery/triggery content please warn/post as 2nd comment so it collapses!
Please collapse images, too!)

Types and compatibility?

[(Anonymous)]

Has anyone noticed that the concepts of 'having a type' and 'compatibility' in relationships seem to be disappearing?

The whole 'nice guy' thing has been around for a while. Girls always pass over the Nice Guy and date bad guys! The implication seems to be that if they were smart and decent, Girls (who of course have a goal of getting into a relationship with a man) would just look at the first Nice man who shows interest in her, realize that he's Nice and a Man, and hand herself over for sex/marriage/reproduction. But they don't, so they must be dating Bad men.

To me there are so many more things that are important if you want a long term relationship than just 'are they nice or not'. Like:
- do you want children or not, and are they on the same page?
- if you both do want children, who is going to be the primary caretaker? Is one person going to stay home, or are both parents going to work? How will you educate them (Public schools? Private schools? Homeschooling?)? Do you believe in corporal punishment? If your kid is gay/trans, will you accept them or kick them out of the house?
- are you religious or not, and are your religious beliefs or lack thereof compatible with the other person's?
- are your values compatible?
- is your sexuality compatible (for example, does one person have a much higher sex drive than the other? Does one person have a fetish or kink that the other person finds off putting?)

Then there's physical types. I know conventional beauty standards are a thing, but people still have different preferences. But there's always some guy insisting that you could find a Nice man if you didn't expect every man to be 6'11 or whatever.
I had a friend who was really into bearded men, and I can't stand full beards.
I've seen a guy who I would consider ugly basically assuming that women who looked at him were attracted to him, and posting memes where men who looked just like him (big, muscular, bald, bearded) were always the Hot guys that women loved compared to any other type of guy. This guy was not my type at all, but I know some people would find hm physically attractive.

Re: Types and compatibility?

[(Anonymous)]

You're right.

It's only "nice guy" incels, not actually nice guys, who post that sort of thing, but they're LOUD.

There is actually a lid for most kettles. I don't like beards either, but for some, no beard is the dealbreaker. I don't care for tattoos, but some people love them. I would never want to date a "bad boy" or risktaker/criminal type; I like bookish academic types and I don't care if they are muscular; skinny is fine, don't care.

I do think that there are, in a rough sense...leagues, though, and a lot of these guys refuse to accept that going to the gym isn't going to make you handsome and charismatic, just fitter. It's not going to help a very unattractive face. If you look at every couple you know, most people are with someone who's generally about as attractive as they are.

Re: Types and compatibility?

[(Anonymous)]

I ‘have a type’ in the sense that there are some aesthetic attributes that I find appealing from a shallow level, but when it comes to a lasting, long term relationship they only go so far for me and personality compatability is far more important for a relationship that will work for me. And I reckon, but don’t know 100% ofc as I’m just me, that a lot of people that are like this.

Just from my own personal experiences of people around me, those who try to make relationships work based off of attraction alone rarely seem to work out or are happy if the pair are trying to make it work. But again: this is just my perspective, things like this are usually pretty complex.

Re: Types and compatibility?

[(Anonymous)]

I hadn't really noticed that, but I'm not currently dating or interested in dating. I don't really think those concepts could disappear from dating, though. Those are factors that a lot of people consider even if they aren't explicit or conscious about doing so.

You're right in that people should ask themselves those types of questions, but it doesn't seem to occur to most people. I think maybe a lot of people don't even think about their own standards to figure out what they want and what expectations they have of a relationship, so it doesn't occur to them to check that out in a potential partner.

And there'll always be dudes who are convinced that the real reason why women aren't lining up to suck their dick is because women are shallow and don't want nice guys. It's bitter grapes, all the way down. Because if they were forced to admit that no, there are other, totally legit reasons why no one wants to touch your dingdong, that would upset them a whole lot and they might have to consider the drastic step of trying to be a better person.

Re: Types and compatibility?

[(Anonymous)]

I've never dated due to a lot of reasons, but one of the most prominent reasons was that I never found anyone who I clicked with and found attractive. My perception of dating/romance was that I would want to be with someone who has similar ideologies and they like me for who I am.
Most guys always came off self-centered or patronizing, and it wasn't until I was much older did I understand that a lot of men do that to display dominance and I think I was supposed to find that sexy??

It's very much men telling other men what women want because neither party can actually show up for women and listen to what women say and respect women's wishes or desires.

Another thing I also noticed was that people tend to settle. Like, one person will say they don't want to have kids but the other likes their partner for a lot of other reasons so they don't place enough importance on the fact that they themselves do want kids.
Either one or both parties will assume they will get their way the longer they stay together.

Characters you changed your minds on

[philstar22]

What are some characters you have changed your mind on? Either you liked them at first and grew to hate them or you weren't sure about them at first but now love them.

Re: Characters you changed your minds on

[greghousesgf]

Mike on MST3K. I initially really disliked him because I loved Joel but I got used to him and like him now.

Re: Characters you changed your minds on

[kaijinscendre]

Faramir. I didn't really care about him at all and then I loved him when I rewatched LOTR as an adult.

Deadpool and Sansa are the same way. I was meh about them but grew to love them.

Steve Rogers, though? I hated him until I saw The Winter Soldier. Then I fell in love.

Re: Characters you changed your minds on

[(Anonymous)]

Teen me hated Boromir because he was creepy and mean to Frodo, but adult me saw that the ring was bringing out his worst traits and he was a kind, loving person doomed by a cursed evil object.

And hate is far too strong of a word, but I liked Astarion just fine to begin with and now I’ll be happy to not see the guys face again for a while. I don’t hate him at all I just got tired of the over-saturation of him and have been disconnected from all BG3 fan content for a while now just to get some space in general.

Re: Characters you changed your minds on

[(Anonymous)]

I was sympathetic to Alicent on House of the Dragon, but am now 100% Team Rhaenyra.

Re: Characters you changed your minds on

[volkameria]

When I started Star Trek: Voyager, I really liked Chakotay, didn't care for Kim, and hated Tom.
When I finished it, I loved Tom and Kim, and didn't care for Chakotay at all.

(Also, I hated Kyo from Fruits Basket when he was first introduced, then thought he was great by the end of season 1.)

Re: Characters you changed your minds on

[(Anonymous)]

I was originally in the MCU for Tony. Then I saw Winter Soldier and I was in it for the found family-everyone lives in the tower-team aspect. Then Tony was everywhere and I started hated him. I don't rewatch the Iron Man movies anymore.

Re: Characters you changed your minds on

[(Anonymous)]

I really liked Mike Seaver on Growing Pains when it aired, but now I kind of teeter between disinterest and dislike, but not all of that is because of the character - some of it's due to things that Kirk Cameron said and done both during the show and afterward and some of it's due to what went on with Tracey Gold and how the writers' kept hammering away at the weight jokes.

I did like Bailey Quarters on WKRP when I first watched it, but I feel like I appreciate her character a lot more now. She was a shy person who stood up for herself, and I know how difficult that can be. Her determination to do the job that she wanted to do had her overcoming sexist attitudes to do so.

Re: Characters you changed your minds on

[(Anonymous)]

Klaus Mikaelson (The Vampire Diaries and The Originals). He initially horrified me and I did not like him. By the end of The Originals I loved him and he still horrified me, lol. What a character! Big props to Joseph Morgan.

Re: Characters you changed your minds on

[(Anonymous)]

Astarion.

I've never been into Bad Boys or Bad Girls. When I first met Astarion in Baldur's Gate 3, I hated his guts because he tried to kill me, was a selfish git that rolled his eyes whenever I wanted to do good, and turned out to be a vampire. Really, the only reason I didn't kill him the moment I found that out was because I needed someone to open locks, and someone to deal extra damage. That said, I only brought him out whenever I needed something opened delicately, and apparently the disdain was mutual between the two of us.

Then came the boss fight against the skeleton of J.K. Simmons. In the middle of that desperate fight, my Tav was down, and everyone else was busy fighting the other two. Then came Astarion with a Sneak attack, and ended the bastard.

Afterwards, I came to tolerate him, and slowly treat him like a brother in arms. I came to give him stuff I knew he was good at, protected him socially, covered him and had him whenever I knew I could count on him. I knew about his problem with Cazador, and decided the very least he deserved was closure. I even let him choose what to do at the end... and he ultimately chose to save people.

In the end, I came to see him as a sibling of sorts. Annoying at times, but that you still love and care for.

Re: Characters you changed your minds on

[(Anonymous)]

Lost favor - Tony Stark; loved him in the comics + MCU, over exposure and really wretched actions MCU actions killed my love and I haven't soght him out in comics since

Gained favor - Basically every LotR character outside of Legolas, I started as a fangirl and bloomed into enjoying every character

Lost favor - Stevie Mickilligan of the Hot and Badgered series. Look, she's a super anxious super smart honey-badger/tiger shifter. But she's really unkind to the people around her (pretends to forget people's names, won't acknowledge old school/work colleagues, sexually harasses the panda shifter who bodyguards her roommate by petting him because he's cute) and is also really dumb whenever it comes to a plot. And all the while the narration tells us how kind she is and how much she cares about others. When it was from her sister's POV (honey-badger/wolf shifter) it makes sense that she's hyping up her baby sister and Stevie was fine as a side character. But when she got her own POV novel I just *couldn't* keep it up.

Gained favor - Lois Lane. She didn't make much of an impact in the DCAU or the few Superman comics I read. But she's grown on me!

Inconsequential things that grind your gears

[(Anonymous)]

There's a game I like to play that has a co-op option. The random lobbies aren't great, so most folks go to the official Discord server, which has several Looking for Group channels organized by global region.

In LFG, people post the lobbies they've created, with number of spots open; difficulty setting; preferred level of player experience; minimum age; general vibes; etc. They'll also either post their lobby code or instruct people to DM for the code. In other words, when you enter the channel, you immediately see several people advertising their open groups, with tons of information about what to expect from said groups, and about how to join them.

Despite this, people post to the channel things like, "is anyone playing?" "Are there any groups looking for people?" Gah!

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. It's not a big deal. But my gawd, I want to be like, "yes! Yes, there are people playing, and there are groups looking for players! Take a single second to read the other posts in the channel you're in! The time it took you to type up this comment could have been time spent entering in the lobby code from the post right above yours! You could already be playing with people!"

Anyway. What's something inconsequential that bothers you?

Re: Inconsequential things that grind your gears

[(Anonymous)]

My fitted sheet keeps coming undone in one of the corners. Every. Night. It's driving me nuts.

Re: Inconsequential things that grind your gears

[(Anonymous)]

The fact that I probably won't be able to post this comment because captchas are broken.

Re: Inconsequential things that grind your gears

[(Anonymous)]

In a fantranslation of a novel I'm reading, the translator's English isn't very great but beggars can't be choosers and all. But there's one character who has a musical instrument and the translation keeps switching between a qin and a pipa ever second to third mention and it drives me crazy, like - what is it? Those are very different instruments!

Re: Inconsequential things that grind your gears

[(Anonymous)]

People who don't pick up their feet when they walk because the I have to listen to the annoying SHOOF SHOOF SHOOF SHOOF noise.

Fandoms you'd rather forget you were in

[(Anonymous)]

I just saw a Hetalia doujinshi being uploaded somewhere and remembered what an unhinged dumpster fire that fandom could be and while I never much participated in it, I really tried to forget I was ever part of that fandom.
What are some fandoms you kinda regret, would like to forget or are even kinda of ashamed of having been part of?

Re: Fandoms you'd rather forget you were in

[(Anonymous)]

Life on Earth. The premise was good, but everyone except me loved Gene Hunt. The was so nice on the surface but a bit of a shark tank underneath.

Re: Fandoms you'd rather forget you were in

[(Anonymous)]

Teen Wolf. I was swept by my fandom friends and I still want to forget this dumpster fire