[ SECRET POST #6995 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6995 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Sohla El-Waylly]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 36 secrets from Secret Submission Post #999.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c8d6e9fab42c.png
[Sohla El-Waylly]

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

I am glad she left NYT (The New York Times) with how she describes their treatment of her, but I am also sad because I think it means the end of bigger mainstream success. I thought she could be huge. I had this vision of her as a millennial Julia Child, making everything seem genuinely doable with that unwavering cheerful positivity.

What happened?

[(Anonymous)]

I've never heard of her, but then I don't follow much cooking media.

Re: What happened?

[(Anonymous)]

I don’t follow this closely, but I read that she wasn’t paid well for doing video work, was bullied into working long days in the heat while heavily pregnant, and had some general issues negotiating her contract.

I don’t know if the Times did anything unusually bad for the industry or if it’s just standard workplace unpleasantness, but it didn’t sound like an easy position to be working in.

Re: What happened?

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, that sucks. Glad she got out, then.

Re: What happened?

[(Anonymous)]

I found her post about it: https://sohla.substack.com/p/sorry-about-your-cookies

Re: What happened?

[deleted_scenes]

Wasn't she one of the louder voices that brought Bon-Appetite down?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ojAMkYosDM

Re: What happened?

[(Anonymous)]

Yes.

She's just whiny and blames other people when she makes poor career choices/has no boundaries.

That substack just confirmed what I already thought about her.

She can cook, but there's no way I'd hire her.

Re: What happened?

[(Anonymous)]

Valid, tbh.

[(Anonymous)]

I’d never heard of her so just went down the rabbit hole. In short, I think you’re right and her big time days are over. She has a really bad reputation and not enough draw. And that sucks. She got dealt a shitty hand in life but hopefully she and her husband can continue their channel and do what they love.

[(Anonymous)]

Why the bad reputation?

[(Anonymous)]

She has rage quit three high profile jobs. Basically she doesn’t set boundaries and her employers take bad advantage of her and then she snaps. And at least two of those jobs she rage quit were amongst the pinnacle for her career so there isn’t really much room for her to go big on mainstream.

[(Anonymous)]

Makes sense. Thanks for the details. Kind of sucks she let herself get into that sort of position repeatedly without learning anything. I mean ideally jobs wouldn't take advantage of people, but we sadly don't live in an ideal world.

[(Anonymous)]

That's a shame. Unfortunately, I've seen similar issues where people aren't good at boundaries or saying no because they don't want to cause trouble or aren't good at confrontation... but the resentment builds and then it blows up.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I feel bad for her and can really relate, although not with a job. I tend to be a people-pleaser, and I put up with waaaaay more garbage from friends than I should, until it crosses the threshold where I just can't take it anymore. Then, I ghost/cut them off. And honestly, this makes me look like a huge asshole for cutting someone off abruptly, but the truth is that there was oftentimes years of resentment growing, as I didn't set boundaries and had been discontent and growing frustrated with things and didn't properly communicate to them that there was a problem. That's mostly on me, although sadly the type of person who likes to take advantage of others can sniff out people like me from a mile away, so I'd argue that them being hyper-clingy and demanding and using me also contributes to the situation. But as far as they know everything is fine until one day I am just straight up done, then I look like a stone-cold monster for cutting them off.

[(Anonymous)]

DA
I can relate a lot to what you said. I'm a people pleaser, working on it. And it affects my personal life more than my professional, but overall, I feel like I have to work hard on knowing when to say no or establish boundaries in many aspects of my life.
Something that fucked with my sense of self advocacy/establishing boundaries was when I tried to do that with a friend, it blew up in my face. That friend did exactly what I feared would happen. They got mad at me, flipped things around where I had to apologize and really I'm the bad guy, and when I didn't want to talk about it anymore because the confrontation turned into a thing where I'm the one who can do no right and I should feel bad, not my friend, my friend insisted we had to keep talking about it because now their feelings are hurt they need to make it clear that I'm no saint and all the negativity was on me to manage, not them, and it came with a "sorry you feel that way but not my problem or responsibility, how dare you" lecture.
I felt like I was being punished for daring to ask to have my feelings acknowledged. Like, who cares that my feelings were hurt? I did something that made me deserve it anyway, so how dare I tell my friend when she was dismissive with me it hurt my feelings.
Thankfully, there were people who I thought would laugh in my face or get angry with me when I'd confronted them, and they apologized and asked/talked to me how they can do better or worked with me on establishing boundaries that worked for all parties involved.
Those situations reminded me that not everyone will turn my issues into something that I should be ashamed of sharing with others, that there are people out there who do care about my feelings enough to hear me out.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I guess this could be a blessing in disguise? If she can't handle the pressure of big business then finding a niche as a social media chef might finally be the right fit for her.

[(Anonymous)]

DA
I agree. If the big corporations where she'd have to do more self advocacy wasn't working out for her, I hope the platform and network she has now works out better for her. Sohla deserves to have work that fits her better. Hope she is making good money and feeling good with the sort of work she is doing.

[(Anonymous)]

I used to watch her videos, she was great, and I'd kind of assumed she'd gone on to things I just didn't really have access to, like US network TV. Sad that this is not the case.

[niconiizura]

fwiw Sohla has a pretty strong following on Instagram and still posts cooking videos there on a regular basis!