[ SECRET POST #7015 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7015 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[BG3 and other RPGs]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 37 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1002.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[iff_and_xor]

That’s kind of funny to me because my perspective has always been that it’s a place explicitly for unburdening yourself of the shameful, unkind, embarrassing, petty secrets that you don’t want to voice elsewhere. So you’re automatically seeing a less virtuous or functional side of people, all their darker, snarkier thoughts.

I assume that plenty of people on FS do really enjoy fandom (whatever that means for them), they just have other places to celebrate that.

Re: Inspired by 6

[(Anonymous)]

Building on the comment above, I'd say it's very much dependent on being "out in the adult world".

Young men who immediately move back home after college (or who never moved out in the first place and continue to live at home afterwards) are going to lack world experience for much longer, and thus hold on to that immaturity and youth, remaining 'boys' way beyond the point they should have aged up into 'man'.

(Obviously this is true of young women as well, but the social stigma of "girls being expected to cook/clean/do their own dishes/laundry/whatever while boys are sheltered and protected and choreless" is absolutely a thing, and does impact.)

Re: Inspired by 6

[(Anonymous)]

It depends on the character. Is their role subordinate or boyish like Robin in Batman? Do they seem naive/sheltered?

You could have a whole ass Band of Brothers and it would depend on each individual guy.

[(Anonymous)]

Then you get people like the anon above going "look at all of you on here being so negative" lol

Reminder: "Secrets you don't want to make..." thread is still up!

[(Anonymous)]

It'll be monitored until Monday's FS post goes up. You can leave your comment secrets here:

https://fandomsecrets.dreamwidth.org/3377356.html?thread=1154176204#cmt1154176204

Have a good weekend!

a secret maker

[(Anonymous)]

TBH, I didn't really enjoy the additional seasons with the original cast as much as I hoped I would, and I was super excited about them because I've been a fan of the show from the day it aired. It's just really hard to recapture the magic.

With the Ryan Coogler reboot, I'll watch it but I'll try to lower my expectations and consider it a whole different thing than X-Files. But I would be surprised if it was a success. Pleasantly! But still surprised.

[(Anonymous)]

SA

You're not wrong, lol. But even in the general comments section people talk about reading wiki articles about canons rather than experiencing them, not commenting for whatever reason, or even not engaging with fandom at all; it's the IRL comments that get the most traction, the wellness ones or weekend plans.

I've been on fandomsecrets since the livejournal days and that might be part of it; it seemed like people were so much more interested. Granted, social media had changed a lot of things.

Re: Inspired by 6

[(Anonymous)]

For me it's a... realistic sense of security? Not quite sure how to put it. Not to do with age but self-awareness of what you are able to do, accomplish, and are worth, and the ability to take care of yourself, extreme circumstances aside. That doesn't mean total self-reliance, more like a willingness to do what has to be done when no one can or will do it for you. And the awareness and experience that at some points, no one will.

For example a male character that lives with his parents could be a big spoiled nepo baby boy whose parents clean up after him 24/7 and can't do anything without daddy and mommy's help. Or he could be a man who takes on his share of household duties and looks after his parents because they're a close-knit family, not because he needs them. If Mom still does the laundry, that doesn't mean he can't or won't, it means the chores were talked about and agreed to be split that way between the adults in the house. Doesn't matter if he's 18, 28, 38, 48...

[(Anonymous)]

This. I'm not seeing a problem with the sort of thing OP is talking about; it sounds like these people are keeping their complaints out of the game itself and in their own contained space. That's polite and healthy behavior!

[(Anonymous)]

This is the one thing Discord is actually good for. Ones for games usually have different channels for different stages of game progression that you opt into/out of for spoilering reasons. The people you describe could stay all year in an Act 1 channel and never look at the rest.

Re: Inspired by 6

[(Anonymous)]

In general, I refer to people who are 20 years old as men/women. I figure at that point you're roughly a quarter of the way through your life if you have a life expectancy of 80 years old, you're an adult even if you don't really feel like it.

Maturity-wise it of course varies dramatically from person to person. Some people still seem as helpless as toddlers when they're in their 50s. And I have met teenagers who knew what they wanted to do with their lives, and went out and did exactly what they said they were going to do.

I think there is more baggage associated with "girl" vs "woman" because society tends to value women first and foremost based on how attractive they are, so sometimes women will want to cling to the youth associated with "girl" for as long as they can, vs feeling "old" if they refer to themselves as a woman. You're just almost never going to see a 25-year-old male human referred to as a boy, unless someone is deliberately trying to belittle themselves. But it's common to see 25-year-old female humans called girls, or calling themselves girls. Men don't have the same negative reaction from society as they get older, so it's not nearly as common for a 25-year-old male to call himself a boy.

And of course, complicating things, we have words like guy and dude for men, but not really an equivalent for women. I've seen guy used for infants all the way up to men who are maybe elderly. There's "chick" and "lady" but those aren't really used in the same way.

[kaijinscendre]

That is every video game subreddit I've ever been on, TBH.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, I totally disagree, I thought the Scholomance series, Uprooted, and Spinning Silver were all well written and entertaining. I did hear the Temeraire series went downhill so never got into it. Loved her fanfic back in the day too.

Re: Inspired by 6

[(Anonymous)]

The interesting thing is both grown men and grown women DO call themselves boys/girls but only in the plural. Having a night out with the girls. Going drinking with the boys. We got this, girls!! Let's fucking go, boys!!

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Ah, there's the misgendering secret.

[(Anonymous)]

They’re not making this for you. They’re making it for younger generations who think the original looks like total shit and therefore didn’t watch the more recent continuation. They don’t care about the fans they already have, they care about getting new ones. That’s true of almost every reboot and remake even when TPTB claim otherwise.

[(Anonymous)]

Rude, even though I think the Temeraire series never quite lived up to its promise.

[(Anonymous)]

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https://worldle.teuteuf.fr/share

[iff_and_xor]

I feel like many more people here used to do fandom on livejournal or dreamwidth and I wonder how much of a difference that makes. Things have definitely changed, but it’s often hard for me to put my finger on it exactly. What’s a function of just being much smaller and quieter? What’s a function of being less directly connected to the places where people do fandom? How much is related to a general feeling (both online and off) of rising pessimism and belligerence?

Anyway, I would include those GC comments you mentioned as part of a larger “venting/confessing” space. I wouldn’t comment here about how I consistently comment on fanfic or how I re-watch or re-read the things I’m really into. I consider those “normal, enthusiastic fandom behavior” that doesn’t merit mention. Whereas any shame about not having actually watched/read something, only cribbing from the wiki, or any guilt about not commenting enough… those are things I’d specifically let out on FS.

[(Anonymous)]

Are they? I read Uprooted back when it came out and I remember really enjoying it, but it's been over ten years and I don't remember enough about it to tell if I'd still find it good now.

What do you like to be called with respect to age and gender?

[iff_and_xor]

Related to the above discussions, what terms do you personally use for yourself or want to have others use for you?

Any terms that make you particularly euphoric or particularly uncomfortable when you hear them? (Bonus points for speculating one why you like or don’t like those terms.)

[dani_phantasma]

Regarding relating to youthful seeming characters, I'm the same but on the feminine side. I often find myself thinking of myself as a 'girl' and I'm well into my thirties.


Its kinda weird and frustrating because at the same time i dislike others infantalizing me in certain ways, but thats more in relation to my being autistic. Still...*shrug*. Its weird. It feels like me saying "Only I can infantalize myself"

Re: What do you like to be called with respect to age and gender?

[(Anonymous)]

I would like to not be perceived.

Re: What do you like to be called with respect to age and gender?

[dani_phantasma]

As mentioned in the thread for the last secret I'm in a weird position where i like it when other people refer to me/treat me as adult, for the most part, ("ma'am" still feels weird/a bit much) but i think of myself in my head as a "girl". It frustrates me a lot.

Also teeeechnically gender wise I'm kinda on the fence of being non-binary but I'm fine with feminine terminology/pronouns.

Re: What do you like to be called with respect to age and gender?

[(Anonymous)]

'some guy' by default is preferred

while it does not exactly make me euphoric OR dysphoric I also dress/present fairly androgynously on purpose and it is very funny to me (maybe in a slightly sadistic way) when I see people actively bluescreen about what pronouns or terms of respect (e.g. sir, ma'am, man, miss) to use.

but TBH actual identity is 'some guy' as opposed to 'an guy' which is more active/assertive. I get more actively weirdered out over people assuming or referring to me as if I am any particular TYPE of man (straight guy, queer guy, young guy, older guy); even if it's not technically inaccurate it feels like someone introducing a person as 'here's Jane, a woman with a Bachelor's in Math' at like a casual non-math related meetup. Sure she has one, but it shouldn't be relevant to actual personal identity at all and it's weird if it were.