[ SECRET POST #1544 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1544 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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23. [TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse]



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40. [tb]



Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 286 secrets from Secret Submission Post #221.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 2 - repeat ], [ 1 - omfg use .png ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

29. http://i51.tinypic.com/el1sgl.png

[(Anonymous)]

Haven't seen the movie- what "perverted" acts did they do to add fuel to the fire?

[(Anonymous)]

They only thing that jumps to mind is that they watched gay (male) porn, which I guess some people would think of as kinky. But I'm not the OP, so maybe something else stuck her as "perverted".

[(Anonymous)]

Bleh. I've been avoiding that movie because of Julianne Moore's character and that whole mess. Thanks for confirming my decision to not see it. :/

[in-leatherpants.livejournal.com]

I went into this movie assuming that I would completely, completely love it. Unfortunately I made it halfway through the movie and knew that there was a pretty big chance that I was not going to be okay with it at all.

I think my problem was watching the dissolution of a marriage via infidelity and just... knowing that she was sleeping with their sperm donor over and over again and... I just totally agree OP, that feeling neglected by your (bread winning) spouse is no excuse to cheat on them.

That's why it bothered me :( So I pretty much agree with this secret, except for the comment about the acting ability that was in there, which I have no personal feelings about at all.

[(Anonymous)]

It didn't put them in a bad light. The basic format of this movie has been made dozens of times with straight couples, and no one says that it puts them in a bad light.

Julianne Moore's character wasn't an example of "lesbians are awful", she was an example of "lesbians are human". She cheated on her wife. That's totally unreflective of her parenting. In fact, they were both really good parents, the entire movie. It would be a) unrealistic, and b) boring to write an entire movie about two perfect people who never do anything wrong ever, all for the sake of portraying gay parents as awesome and flawless. It's far better to portray them as normal, because isn't that what having a family is supposed to be? Normal? The genitals of the person you love have no bearing on what kind of parent you are, and that was part of the message of the movie: they were just normal people, who love their kids and make mistakes and have needs and wants and feelings.

Her reasoning for cheating was selfish and childish, yes, but is there such a thing as "good" reasoning for that kind of betrayal? She didn't choose a man because he had a dick, she chose him because he was paying attention to her. And I think it's revealing of a selfish nature that you say no one in the entire movie should have forgiven her. They were her family - were they supposed to stop loving her?

People do bad things, and, when you love them, you often forgive them. It's just how human nature works. Maybe that's the lesson you should have taken away from the movie.

[(Anonymous)]

I thought maybe the "inspirational" and "beautiful" thing in relation to the lesbian side of the movie was that it painted a gay couple as being no different than a straight couple in terms of family, values and life in general?

I don't know, I don't really get the hype. Thought it was pretty boring, had the worst characters, and some pretty poor acting. The story didn't seem new, or interesting, or anything of the sort either. It seemed very long.

Btw. by "perverted acts" you mean what?

[(Anonymous)]

Someone summed up the whole mess in one sentence at afterellen.
She said, if this was written by a straigh man it'd be considered the most insulting shitty movie ever, but since it's made by a lesbian it's a honest and touching portrait of a normal family.

[kayfig.livejournal.com]

I hate this movie. I cannot agree with you more. I was so excited to see a movie which had two lesbians in what I thought was a committed relationship depicted in a positive light, but instead it just felt like "OMG I NEED A DICK IN ME NOW" lebsians-can-never-be-truly-fulfilled bullshit.

One of the hardest parts about being a lesbian is the assumption most people seem to operate under that it is a phase, something that could be cured by meeting the right guy.

I was so deeply offended by this because it just seemed to perpetuate the sterotypes, "happy" ending or no.

[immortality.livejournal.com]

Wow, I so agree.

[ozma-katiebell.livejournal.com]

Yes, I agree. I am wibbling over renting this movie because I am such a fan of the three leads, but it just doesn't sit well with me.
I'll probably catch it on cable.

[subarashiine.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed the film, but I'm really here to say that you made a seriously gorgeous secret, OP!

[ladycallie.livejournal.com]

Having only heard the good things about the movie, my partner and I watched it on our anniversary. OMFG, it was horrible. What a downer. I completely agree with you, Anon.

[(Anonymous)]

thank goodness. I hated this movie.

[oflittlebrain.livejournal.com]

i like it because after seeing it my homophobic father was a lot more open to the idea of a gay couple raising a child

like a few people in this thread said, i think the idea was to portray a gay couple as "normal" and human... i do agree it could have been done in a less problematic way though. couldn't she at least have cheated with another woman, or something.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's a bit sad how any film/tvshow portraying minorities is endlessly bashed for not being something else. It's like no one's interested in the films themselves, but only in the bigger picture. (Obviously the bigger picture is important but you start to get the impression that people would rather they didn't make any films about minorities unless they fulfill some ridiculously high expectations...)

[courageousyouth.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed the movie. But maybe that's because I didn't go in expecting it to be this "inspirational" film. I expected it to be a movie about a family, and all the shit they have to go through -- regardless of the sexuality of the parents.

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

Personally I wouldn't go as far as "couldn't stand," but I definitely had major issues with it and have only found a handful of people who agree, so this is a relief. I didn't have a ton of sympathy for her either, and I wasn't sure what it was saying about their relationship (I didn't like that she said "so are you straight now?", and I didn't like that it was sort of implied that she cheated--and with a man--because they'd gotten together so young and she hadn't had a chance to be with other people or whatever), and I also really disliked how Mark's character was turned into the butt of the jokes by the end. Like, yeah, he shouldn't have slept with her and things never would've worked out between them, but he seemed really earnest and caring, in a clueless sort of way, and the way he was dismissed as some idiot trying to ruin their family was really mean-spirited to me.

[citrinesunset.livejournal.com]

Still haven't seen this, but it seems like a lot of people didn't like it. I've seen that a lot more than people finding it beautiful and inspirational, though maybe it's just who I've been talking to.

[murderershair.livejournal.com]

Holy shit this is practically exactly what I think, right down to AUGH MIA WASOWASOWASAKIKIWAWA. I wanted to like it, and then I read about Julianne Moore's character and was bitching to everyone I knew irl for several days. Then some of my gay friends went and said they liked it, so I thought, okay, chill out, maybe it's not that bad. And yeah, it wasn't the worst movie of all time or anything but it was just so... unfinished. None of the plotlines were resolved. I still don't get why JM's character had to sleep with a dude instead of another woman if she had to cheat at all-- yeah, she could have been bisexual, but since it wasn't stated it came off as another "lezzies can be turned if they meet the right cock hur hur". Also Mia Wasiwasidohickywacka's storyline hit my horrible high school embarrassing myself over love squick so fucking hard I had to put my head between my knees

[12dozenroses.livejournal.com]

I agree with most of this, but how can you hate Mia? Alice was not exactly her best work, but I don't think Alice was anyone's best work.

[(Anonymous)]

Disagree slightly with your reasoning, but either way, I absolutely HATE this movie. So glad I'm not the only one.

[rightclick5ave.livejournal.com]

I don't know any people irl who've seen this movie, so I feel like the only queer girl who's watched it and didn't feel like it was OMGTHEBESTTHINGEVAR!!1!1!. I thought it was fairly enjoyable (mainly because of [unf] Julianne Moore) but I really, really could not see the hype over it.

[numb3r-5ev3n.livejournal.com]

My moms did not go see this film for precisely the reasons you mentioned in this secret. Especially the fact that *spoiler* she cheats with a guy.

[comiter.livejournal.com]

No love for this movie from me either. After she cheated, I just felt sick. However, a lot of my lesbian friends loved it. What what what?

I'm a lesbian also, and I just felt offended. You basically summed it up for me. ♥