fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1563 ]

[ SECRET POST #1563 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1563 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 058 secrets from Secret Submission Post #223.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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03. http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/4880/sherlocksecret.jpg

Do the world a favor and shoot yourself in the face instead.

No. No face shooting! Therapy. Lots of nice therapy.

whoa harsh

Wow. You sure seem pleasant to be around. It sounds like you did your 'friend' a favor.

You're hardly Sherlock don't flatter yourself.

Rude.

A thought: lots of people enjoy watching misanthropic, arrogant assholes on TV, but those types don't get a lot of love in real life. That's 'cos it's not especially cool to flaunt your self-perceived superiority like it's going out of fashion. It makes you look a bit of an insecure pillock, in fact.

Hey, I just called you on your bullshit! Does that make me Watson?

To be fair: misanthropic, arrogant assholes who are also incredibly brilliant get pretty good treatment in real life, at least in my field. (Academics seem to value interesting company over pleasant company in most cases.)

Unfortunately, most people who *think of themselves* as misunderstood geniuses are usually only marginally intelligent at best, and when you're an arrogant asshole who isn't terribly interesting (but thinks he's the smartest person in the room) then, yeah, everybody hates you. And anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who can categorize himself as the "Sherlock" in any relationship is just an asshat who would rather pretend that he *likes* not having any friends than admit that nobody wants to play with him.

Success, sure, even social success - I know quite a few asshat geniuses myself. and they can be entertaining company, and even appear to have friends. But I don't know if anybody actually *likes* these people, or just finds them entertaining and perhaps useful to be around.

most people who *think of themselves* as misunderstood geniuses are usually only marginally intelligent

Totally. As Watson said, mediocrity recognises nothing higher than itself...

Does it make you feel better to filter your shitty action through a friendship unrelated to you, just so you can fashion yourself to be Sherlock? Talk about a disconnect.

I don't think you're as special as you think you are.The only one that seems to be acting repulsively is you, my dear. Your friend is better off without you considering all that they seem to have been trying to do is be your friend. Oh, and your ex-friend might not be Watson, but you are NOT Sherlock. Stop trying to emulate fictional arrogant geniuses.

You are kind of repulsive. I hope you don't think of yourself as Sherlock because even he's not this bad.

You're allowed not to like people, anon. This, however, doesn't mean that they stop being people. No matter how "normal" or "boring" your friend was, he/she deserved a kinder send off that that.

OP

This is the blackest side of the whole mess really. And even though the "repulsive" bit came from an emotional snap of several months of pent up frustration, I know I should feel really bad. But I don't. And even the lack of feeling in that regard should scare me... and it does, a bit. But not to the degree I know it should. And that's partially why I made the secret: to have people say to me what I should really be saying to myself.

It's been over a week since I made/sent in this secret, and since then I've done a lot of self-reflecting, but no matter how much my conscious tells me I should feel bad I just can't. My friend had me up on a pedestal, and more than anything else it just feels so good to be able to breathe again.

(messed up anon is messed up)

I'm not sure what to tell you, anon. I don't think I've ever failed to feel guilty about something, even if I felt it needed to be done. I am a one woman guilt machine.
This being said, do you feel a total lack of guilt often, or is it just this incident? Because if you don't generally have pangs of conscience, maybe you should see someone.

I can understand where being on a pedestal would annoy you, and I can even see where it could be left to fester long enough that you snapped. But if you truly think that you handled this the right way and that this person doesn't deserve an apology, I don't know that you've ever cared about them at all.

It's one thing to be messed up. It's quite another to mess everyone around you up too.

This being said, do you feel a total lack of guilt often, or is it just this incident?

I think it's a combination of both just this incident and the fact that I've never let my frustration build up like this before. Normally if someone annoys or bothers me, I know early on and I stop the acquaintance before it even becomes a friendship. But it wasn't annoying at first (I've known him for about a year) and even though the past several months have been frustrating, I chalked it up to my anti-social personality. (I can talk to strangers and make new friends/acquaintances easily, but I still have problems with truly opening up to people I haven't known for a long, long time.) It was only recently when I thought about the future and after college and when I thought of us graduating and never seeing each other again and I felt happy about that thought, I knew there was something seriously wrong.

And then a couple days after that is when I said, well I didn't say he was repulsive, quite honestly. I just phrased it that way in my secret because towards the end he had developed an irritating habit of lurking on the sites/communities that I frequented. Not joining them, not commenting. Just lurking. And I didn't know if he had started with this comm, but I didn't want to risk it. But seeing as how I highly doubt he would lurk, pick up on this secret, and then follow the comments (and if he does, that's his problem now), my exact words were "I do like you as a person. I do really like you as a friend, but physically... well, I find it disgusting" because at that time I thought it might just be a physical proximity thing. Except for I think he took it as "I find you disgusting" (even though I tried to clarify the next day that it didn't mean that), and things quickly deteriorated from that and by the end of the week I really did find him disgusting .

But if you truly think that you handled this the right way and that this person doesn't deserve an apology, I don't know that you've ever cared about them at all.

I thought I used to. I think sometimes I knew I use to. I don't now though... which is sort of the driving force behind the secret.

*Original Comment Deleted for Typo

nota-lone.livejournal.com - 2011-04-17 19:32 (UTC) - Expand

You're "friend" thought you were super duper awesome. The bees knees. The bestest buddy around. And how do you handle that admiration? You knocked them down and cut them open. I feel bad for both of you. You, because you can't handle being liked or having open communication - letting everything fester until a violent and hateful outburst - and your friend for being so trusting and hard up for friendship and human interaction that they blindly put their trust in someone who so obviously didn't deserve it.

I wish you both the best in the future and hope that you've at least learned something from this failed attempt at friendship.

Idk, a lot of the time I don't really feel an emotional attachment to my friends either. I can take or leave people depending on my mood, but a lot of the time I don't think I would be too devastated by the loss of any of them.

Then at other times, I feel like my friends are my social crutch.

So, actually, I don't know what to tell you. Other than I understand completely your being able to let them go with no real emotional involvement.

Hey there, OP. I have cut several friends out of my life (usually because I felt they were too cloying) without feeling guilty about it. Admittedly, I tend to just stop communicating with people rather than actually become hostile towards them, but I get where you're coming from - when relationships feel like they're trapping you it can build up a certain amount of resentment.

I guess I just want to say... don't worry on it too much? You're not alone. I've done a lot of thinking on it, and I'm pretty sure I'm not a sociopath, but I think there is a certain amount of middle ground. I just have slightly below average empathy and can only cope with certain types of relationships. I don't think it makes me a bad person, or broken, or whatever. It's just the way some people are. You could try to be nicer when you're cutting people out of your life, though. *shrug* Most of the time being actively hostile isn't the most useful way of doing things.

I do think you were maybe a little melodramatic in comparing yourself to Sherlock (it just comes across self aggrandizing), but it seems you were doing that to provoke the negative response from F!S that you wanted, so I guess you succeeded.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2011-04-15 19:53 (UTC) - Expand

Your "friend" is better to not have you a part of her life.

Well, aren't you the charmer? Don't shoot yourself in the face, though. Just learn some manners. It's not that hard, promise!

I can understand that being coddled is annoying, but dude.
Grow up.

You sound like such a marvelous person. I'm sure whoever you're talking about misses you so much.

And considering you don't sound like a very good Sherlock yourself, I'll make that clearer for you: They are better off without someone like you.

I think to all these "Watson to my Sherlock/Sherlock to my Watson"-secrets, this sounds like the most realistic one.

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