[ SECRET POST #155 ]

[grayout.livejournal.com]

⌈ Secret Post #155 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 114 secrets from Secret Submission Post #023.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, 0 not!secrets, 0 not!fandom.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Sunday, June 10th, 2007.
Current Secret Submission Post: Here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[allsunday.livejournal.com]

3. Don't get me wrong, I like teh pr0nz, but I also like reading well-written gen fic and also wish there was more.

11. Eh? I don't mean to be preachy, but it's not good if you're that uncomfortable with sex. I mean, I can understand wanting to read more fics that are just romantic and not sexual, but if you actually think sex is dirty, you may want to talk to someone about it.

18. *squints* I don't actually have anything against genderbending, but...is Girl-L wearing a thong?! O_o

[allsunday.livejournal.com]

Addition to #11: When writing that, I was assuming you were an adult (or close to it). If you are actually a young teen, then there's nothing wrong with you, as many young teens think sex is dirty. You'll get over it. :3

[grayout.livejournal.com]

11. I'm 20 and I think sex is kinda grody, I don't think there's anything wrong with me. >>" Just body fluids and genitals and ahagdjhgkdh auuugh auuuuuuugh. It's definitely not something to seek like, professional help over.

[ex-parle.livejournal.com]

...well sex was never meant to be a clean sport.

[grayout.livejournal.com]

Exactly, so why should finding it dirty mean someone might want to "go talk to someone" about it like it's weird or wrong?

[ex-parle.livejournal.com]

I guess it depends on their definition of 'dirty' [OP I mean], hrm. I'm 21 and I couldn't care less for sex, if it happens it happens, sex is sex.

[allsunday.livejournal.com]

Well, sex is dirty on a literal level, sure. When someone says they think "sex is dirty" though, I assume that they're talking about being uncomfortable with the concept of sex itself. And if you're uncomfortable with the idea of sex on a conceptual level, that can indicate anything from possible trauma to basic intimacy issues.

I can completely understand thinking "ewww!" when reading about fluids and squishy sounds though, because let's face it, it's all rather messy. xD;

[ex-parle.livejournal.com]

MMmm--squishy sounds. :9~

[allsunday.livejournal.com]

...*SQUELCH* xDDD

[ex-parle.livejournal.com]

...*SPLICH*

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP, but:

What's wrong with thinking it's dirty in the first place, on any level? Does everyone have to go out and have sex? It's taken far too lightly these days in the first place. Sex is primal, animalistic. I would say it is hardly ever 'beautiful' or spiritual or whatever. That kind of thinking doesn't have to stem from trauma or intimacy issues. Besides which, some people just have no sex drive anyway. It happens.

[allsunday.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm not making myself clear. Not wanting to have sex is fine. Many people choose to forgo it, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But thinking that the act of sex as a general concept is dirty or wrong indicates that everything is not okay with you. Even an asexual should be comfortable with the idea that sex is an okay thing for people to do.

Does that make more sense?

[(Anonymous)]

I can see what you're saying, but I still think it's not necessarily true. We may have to simply agree to disagree on this

[(Anonymous)]

Even an asexual should be comfortable with the idea that sex is an okay thing for people to do.

Why?

OP here

[(Anonymous)]

Uh, why does it have to be because of trauma? I mean I suppose technically I kind of have childhood issues, but I don't think thats anything to do with it? Why, do you think it might be? :/

Re: OP here

[allsunday.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't really say. I was just throwing general theories out there. Though some people who think sex is bad may think so because they were traumatized, others may think so because they have simple intimacy issues. For example, I know that some people whose parents didn't have much physical contact with them (hugging, kissing, etc) may feel especially freaked out by the idea of physical intimacy.

I have no idea what kind of childhood issues you may have had, or where your dislike of sex comes from. From all I know, I read into your statement in a way you didn't intend, and you're just asexual. I just know that not wanting to have sex is one thing, but thinking it's bad or wrong may actually be a symptom of deeper issues.

Not OP here

[darkdesideratum.livejournal.com]

So,

I'm 31. I have a huge selection of issues for you to pick from. My parents split when I was pretty young and dragged me through a court case having spent several years yelling at each other. My mother basically ignored me apart from when she wanted to show me off. Then when I grew up she pretty much disowned me and blamed me for everything including her failing health (but I paid for her life anyway up until she died. But she selectively ignore that.) All my relationships so far have ended up badly.

Should I have issues with sex or intimacy then? Maybe I do. I'm not sure. Maybe this is why I seem to get pushed over so easily by women, or by people in general. What counts as an 'issue' ? I'm curious to know when something is naturally occurring, and when it counts as something to be fixed. I mean I'm pretty happy really, I don't think I need to be fixed. Should I be fixed? My round about point: Whats *wrong* with thinking sex is wrong, and why is it something that needs to be fixed? I'm sure people can live happily that way.

[longlongwaytogo.livejournal.com]

ah that's how I read 'sex is dirty' in this context too. I mean... I can see thinking that basically it's quite gross. But being all 'ewww it's dirty!!! omg it's sooo gross!' just seems like a 12 year old to me. Or 'dirty' as in 'wrong'... that's more worrying.

[allsunday.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to know I'm not nuts! I knew I couldn't be the only person who thought the OP's statement was worrying.

[(Anonymous)]

11. I'm not the original poster of the that secret but that comment made me feel bad about myself because I kind of agree with her. :/

[(Anonymous)]

Agree with the comment or the secret? Because secret poster is not actually female sry2say :)

[allsunday.livejournal.com]

Well, in what way do you think sex is dirty? I was assuming that the poster meant it in a metaphorical fashion, indicating that she has issues with the concept of sexual intimacy. Even if you're a healthy asexual, the idea of sex shouldn't bother you. If you just think it's literally messy though, then yes, it totally is.

[(Anonymous)]

dirty as in "no thanks and keep your hands to yourself"

I understand it's quite enjoyable but it looks nasty too.

[allsunday.livejournal.com]

Then that probably means that you're just asexual. Not that I can do a full-on psychological profile from our very brief conversation or anything, but that's what it seems like you're saying. As long as you don't think there's anything wrong with the act itself - you just have no personal wish to participate in it - then there's nothing wrong with you at all.

[ex-parle.livejournal.com]

It looks nasty? I guess you'll be adopting then.