fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1592 ]

[ SECRET POST #1592 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1592 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[BSG]

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03.

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04.

[Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds]

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05.

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06.

[Supernatural]

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07.

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08.

[Glee]

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09. [repeat]

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10.

[Once Upon A Time In Mexico]

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11.

[Breakout Kings]

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12.

[Supernatural]

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13.

[Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai]

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14.

[Invasion America]

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15.

[Zork Nemesis]

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16.

[Waiting for Godot and Good Omens]

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17.

[Withnail & I]

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18.

[Gorillaz]

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19.

[The Young Riders]

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20.

[Pride & Prejudice]

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21.

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22.

[Shantae: Risky's Revenge]

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23.

[bbc sherlock (lestrade)]

[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

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24. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]

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25. [SPOILERS for Ghost Trick]

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26. [SPOILERS for Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey]

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27. [SPOILERS for Death Note]

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28. [SPOILERS for the Tudors]

29. [SPOILERS for Transformers: Dark of the Moon]

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30. [SPOILERS for Portal 2]

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31. [SPOILERS for Portal 2]

[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

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32. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape, abuse]

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33. [TRIGGER WARNING for abuse/sexual assault]

[Glee]

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34. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]
[TRIGGER WARNING for parent death?]

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35. [TRIGGER WARNING for ]

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36. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape, racism, abuse, and pedophilia]

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37. [TRIGGER WARNING for self-harm]

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38. [TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse]

[Kuroshitsuji II]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #227.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

1. Kurt was forced to keep the secret about the assault and Karofsky's sexual orientation because Karofsky threatened his fucking life. Or did everyone just conviently forget that little detail? Because that was the original reason why he didn't say anything eventhough he was terrified and telling about the sexual assault would have enabled Kurt to stay at McKinley and get Karofksy expelled.

2. You're right. It might not be forcing, but it sure as hell was coercive. Crying in the freaking hallway about how sorry he was for abusing Kurt doesn't really give Kurt much of a choice. Doing that in the first place was extremely selfish and Kurt would have been made to feel guilty and like a total ass if he didn't accept the apology.

1. Kurt wasn't going to tell anyone even before the death threat. Also he had a chance to tell people why after the threat in Furt but he still didn't tell them. Why? He was around lots of people to protect him. Maybe because he doesn't like outting people. Yes it's stupid and if I was in his position I would of told but Kurt didn't.

2. It was implied that this apology wasn't going to happen in that scene. It was Kurt talking to him that made Karofsky cry. Kurt telling him that he see his pain caused it. I'm pretty sure that Karofsky didn't plan that apology at all.

1. Even IF that wasn't reason Karofksy still, at the very least, tried to force Kurt into silence with fucking deaththreats. And I'm still not coninced that's not why Kurt didn't tell. I don't believe that Kurt would sacrifice THAT much to keep Karofsky's secret if he wasn't also scared that the threat would be realized.

2. So?

And yes I know it's fucking stupid what Karofsky did. Also it was fucking stupid that Kurt didn't tell anybody about the threat. I would chalk it up to them being stupid teens not knowing what to do in these situations.

So, you're implying that Karofsky planned that whole apology, even though Kurt unintentionally instigated it. Plus you should know that Karofsky is struggling with his sexuality plus fully regretting all the shit he did to Kurt. Karofsky cracking under the pressure was bound to happen eventually.

Exept Kurt wasn't "stupid" for not telling someone about a sexual assault and abuse. Victims aren't stupid for not wanting to face the stigma and a death threat. So sick of people laying the blame on Kurt for not telling. How about laying the blame on Karofksy for assaulting and threatening him? Which also wasn't just a stupid teenage thing, it was cold, planned and systematic abuse. Karofksy didn't just stop with the "kiss" he continued the sexual harrasment afterwards in a completely controlled and calmheaded manner.

I also fucking hate when people say things like "Krofsky was stupid, but Kurt was stupid too". It's like hearing rape apologists saying "Yeah, raping her was stupid, but she was stupid for wearing slutty clothes~". Just no. It doesn't work that way.

Lol, my comment "So?" implied all that for you? It simply meant; "I do not care if he planned it, it was still coercive".

Ooookay before I continue, I just like to point out that I'm sticking strictly on the canon of the show in this debate. So I usually avoid the "was the kiss sexual assault or not" topics like the plague since they go nowhere and start so much hate and wank. With that in mind, no I'm not victim blaming at all. I'm not a rape apologist either.

Anyway....

Kurt: "I could just hate you when you were bullying me but...Now? All I see is your pain."

And after Karofsky apologized

Kurt: "I know...I know"

You say Karofsky was coercive with his apology but what Kurt said before it implies that Kurt already forgave him even without a proper apology. for Karofsky.

You know what, I think we're just gonna have to agree to disagree. For me I read that very differently. Like, that was how I felt when my abuser lost his son. All I could think was that he looked so miserable and broken and I didn't feel angry at him anymore and I couldn't see him as a monster at that moment. But... I never forgave him for what he did to me. And that's kind of how I see it. And maybe people with different experiences put different things into that scene. But for me all I could think is that if he had apologized for the abuse after the funeral while crying I would feel terribly obligated to say it's okay and would find that really coercive and difficult to back out of. I think Karofksy should have waited. And he should have done it when they were alone and when he had actually taken some kind of effort to change himself. Like I said, we should probably just agree to disagree.

Yeah it looks like we have to go that route.

After reading this thread I can def. see your perspective, even if I didn't see the scene in the same light. I'm sorry for everything you've been through, though. =C

2. The thing about the crying while apologizing is, Karofsky was actually that sorry. Enough for him to actually cry. he put his heart out there and Kurt accepted it. And you can never force someone to forgive. You could make them say that they forgive you, but they could still never actually fovgive them until they actually wanted to.

Also, being selfish by apologizing, what bullshit is that?

I don't think Karofksy apologized for Kurt. I think he apologized to make himself feel better. If he had actually put any effort into chaning himself before this I might have believed him. As it is? No way. I also think you're really naive if you think all, if not most, apologies aare actually made to make the victims feel good. In my esperience they tend to be selfish.

That's MY opinion. I'm not saying anyone has to share it.

Just because part of an apology is to make the person apologizing feel better doesn't mean that it's not honest. If Karofsky wasn't sorry for what he did he wouldn't have needed to feel better by apologizing, would he?

It's also incredibly hard to change ones self when you're afraid that by doing so you're going to be persecuted. Keep in mind he only became a member of the bully whips because Santana threatened him. Karofsky is scared to come out of the closet. It's a big thing to ask someone to change when they're not ready, like when Kurt told Karofsky to come out of the closet. It's irrational for you to expect him to change on his own will, not when his life is controled by the fear of persecution by his peers.

Feeling guilty and only looking to relive that guilt and not the pain of the person you abused is selfish.

It's not hard to stop being an asshole. I'm not saying he should come out. I never said that. If he had taken the initiative to become a better person by himself, and not because of Santana, for exmaple. Or maybe said that, hey, I can change schools so you can come back because I know you don't feel safe around me! Or apologizing to Figgins and try to help Kurt get back without any kind of blackmail. As it is Karofksy is still the same bully he was. He's just been blackmailed into stopping and did not stop out of any real change of character or feelings of guilt. lol at me being "irrational" for expecting someone to stop abusing people because they're ~scared~. Every gay person is scared. Only the assholes and abusers chose to show that fear through abusing other people. hth.

"Feeling guilty and only looking to relive that guilt and not the pain of the person you abused is selfish. "

But that does not mean that the person apologizing doesn't mean it and doesn't want the person apologizing to know. If you want to think an apology is a bad thing, then fine. Go ahead and live in your world of complete distrust of others, people actually do have good intentions at times, and just because it helps them feel better to does not mean that what they did was selfish or bad. Unless you really think that Kurt did not want to hear an apology, or didn't want to know whether Karofsky was sorry or not, what he did was not a selfish or bad thing to do.

And you fail at forgivness. I forgive Karofsky for acting out of fear, because acting out of fear, is a very human and natural thing to do.

And yes, you're still irrational.

Okay, first of all I believe apologies can be good. And I said so. But they require a person to 1. change themselves and 2. not ONLY say it to relieve their own guilt.

Secondly. You know nothing about me. I'm perfectly capable of forgivness. But Karofsky is a fictional character and abuser. I can hate him and I will. He is not a real human that will suffer from my hatred and judgement of him.

I forgave the boy who sexually assaulted me in real life. So don't tell me I don't know how to fucking forgive, cause I do. But you know what? It wasn't about him and he doesn't deserve that forgivness from me. I don't owe it to him to guide and support and forgive him when he cries for it because he had a hard time and was confused about his sexuality at the time. I'm sure it was human, rape is a very human thing to do after all, but that doesn't make it okay. I hear people like you all the time. Rape/abuse apologists is nothing new. It doesn't make you a bigger person. People who excuse these men because they were ~sad~ or ~struggling~ are just apologists who hide behind compassion as an excuse. YOU are just like them. I know you don't like that label, but that's what you are and it's sad that you can't see that.

Also;
I forgive Karofsky for acting out of fear,

lol, wut. Dude, he is NOT real. He is not your friend. And mostly he did not hurt YOU so your forgivness is meaningless.

lol, wut. Dude, he is NOT real. He is not your friend. And mostly he did not hurt YOU so your forgivness is meaningless.

Annnnnnnd with that statement, you made your WHOLE argument completely invalid :D

Also showing some sympathy/relating to Karofsky doesn't makes us forget the shit he's done. Calling people rape apologist whenever someone shows some sympathy to Karofsky doesn't make you a bigger person either. With your logic apparently Kurt is a rape apologist too.

dude, thread is dead. move on like the rest of us.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #1592 ]

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