Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-05-13 08:02 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-05-13 08:02 pm
[ SECRET POST #1592 ]
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
01.
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02.
[BSG]
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03.
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04.
[Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds]
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05.
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06.
[Supernatural]
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07.
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08.
[Glee]
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09. [repeat]
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10.
[Once Upon A Time In Mexico]
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11.
[Breakout Kings]
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12.
[Supernatural]
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13.
[Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai]
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14.
[Invasion America]
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15.
[Zork Nemesis]
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16.
[Waiting for Godot and Good Omens]
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17.
[Withnail & I]
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18.
[Gorillaz]
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19.
[The Young Riders]
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20.
[Pride & Prejudice]
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21.
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22.
[Shantae: Risky's Revenge]
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23.
[bbc sherlock (lestrade)]
[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
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24. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]
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25. [SPOILERS for Ghost Trick]
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26. [SPOILERS for Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey]
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27. [SPOILERS for Death Note]
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28. [SPOILERS for the Tudors]
29. [SPOILERS for Transformers: Dark of the Moon]
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30. [SPOILERS for Portal 2]
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31. [SPOILERS for Portal 2]
[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
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32. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape, abuse]
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33. [TRIGGER WARNING for abuse/sexual assault]
[Glee]
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34. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]
[TRIGGER WARNING for parent death?]
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35. [TRIGGER WARNING for ]
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36. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape, racism, abuse, and pedophilia]
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37. [TRIGGER WARNING for self-harm]
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38. [TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse]
[Kuroshitsuji II]
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #227.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.
1/2
Right. Of course. I forgot, the entire world is all fixed now and nothing bad ever happens. No one is ever ignorant, no one is ever hurtful, no one is ever mean or wanky, no one ever dies and everybody lives happily ever after.
Like, for example, the whole kerfluffle over the genderqueer person who couldn't enjoy a show anymore because a friend of a friend said it appealed to
"both genders". Seriously?!
You know, we don't actually have the context for that? Or even the entire statement that was made? Somehow, I'm guessing it was more complicated than that, but once again, a person in pain's entire thesis statement on what hurt them was boiled down to its simplest, most nonsensical form, so that it could be mocked, dismissed, ignored. Made into a joke that no one has to care about, that can't possibly be worth discussing or examining or thinking about, because oh no, caring about other people is G-ddamn hard.
Another example would, indeed, be LARGE REPTILE WARNING. What the everliving fuck. Shakesville is already supremely ridiculous in my mind, and a hive for sfda-ri, but that just is the crown goddamn jewel. I mean...how does that even work? Do you have a specific medically diagnosed phobia of large reptiles (i.e. seeing one makes you need to cry for hours somehow?)
Have you never heard
"Large reptile warning" is the same bloody thing. A gesture from someone who knows that secret about someone else and cares enough about that specific person to not care if they look a little ridiculous in public.
I would hope so, because no, you do not get to ask for trigger warnings just because you don't fucking like it.
Now who's acting like the Internet Pope? Do you blog at Shakesville? No? Are you friends with any of the regulars? No? Then who are you to say what they can warn for and what they can't? Who are you to say that they can't provide what services they want in their own space to their own regulars? Isn't the whole crux of this argument that no one has the right to tell anyone else what to do in their own space? Who are you to tell people that just because you don't want to do something, they shouldn't?
Re: 1/2
(Anonymous) 2011-05-15 10:48 am (UTC)(link)Not what I said, or what I was even implying. I know, I know, intent isn't magic and you can't read my implications, so here we go: what was implied here was that in my experience, and this is just my experience, people in my fandoms have been sensible enough to follow the necessary traditions. In the wider sampling I see from F!S, people also seem to be sensible enough to follow necessary traditions.
When those necessary traditions are followed, and people start shit, can we at least agree that that is unnecessary trolling? That that is kink-shaming? Cause, uh, I don't know any other word for it, and I dislike that people can cover it up with a veneer of socially respectable horseshit. Social justice is an important enough thing that clogging it up with that kind of crap is just dumb.
You know, we don't actually have the context for that? Or even the entire statement that was made? Somehow, I'm guessing it was more complicated than that, but once again, a person in pain's entire thesis statement on what hurt them was boiled down to its simplest, most nonsensical form, so that it could be mocked, dismissed, ignored. Made into a joke that no one has to care about, that can't possibly be worth discussing or examining or thinking about, because oh no, caring about other people is G-ddamn hard.
You're right, we don't, and all we have is fragmentary evidence. But entertaining the idea that, perhaps, the fragmentary evidence is true, which I tend to believe, that sort of shit is pretty goddamn silly. I mean, I'm sorry that someone was hurt. I will add the caveat that this is true if someone was, in fact, emotionally hurt, and didn't just take umbrage at a common expression and decide to start shit over the Internet.
It is a little weird and interesting to me how very much people (like yourself) do end up caring about people's delicate personal feelings and willing to place faith in their proclaimed identities, but that's another tangent.
(I'm going to take the liberty of cutting the discussion of large reptile warning/trigger nature/etc., if you don't mind)
That is actually pretty fascinating, and I did not know about it (impertinence's story). In lieu of that, I am sorry, and I should have looked for more context despite how much I dislike Shakesville and its regulars.
In my mind, that makes it as valid as a medically diagnosed phobia, and I must eat a considerable amount of crow. On its face, I still think the concept of a "large reptile warning" is rather ridiculous, but you can't choose what's associated with abuse.
However. There are, also, people who misuse the whole concept of triggers, and use it as a "censor" button for things that they don't like for whatever reason.
I suppose I did come off as preaching to the regulars of Shakesville on the "large reptile warning" thing. Again, what I mean is that no matter how strongly you disapprove of something or fear something (like, say, large reptiles), unless you have an actual condition attached to your reaction to it (phobia, trigger events), asking for a trigger warning is pretty fucking trivializing. It's dumb.
Re: 1/2
Not what I said, or what I was even implying. I know, I know, intent isn't magic and you can't read my implications, so here we go: what was implied here was that in my experience, and this is just my experience, people in my fandoms have been sensible enough to follow the necessary traditions. In the wider sampling I see from F!S, people also seem to be sensible enough to follow necessary traditions.
See, I find a flaw in this argument, right there. Namely, if people were following the necessary traditions, we probably wouldn't get secrets from people so frequently about when they don't. Maybe some of them are trolling or wank-baiting. But a fair number of them probably are not. And dismissing every single one as a troll is, to me, very lazy. As long as we dismiss every expressed grievance as trolling, we don't have to think about how to do things differently, or even better, to make fandom more fun and inclusive for everyone. And I think fandom should be more inclusive and fun for everyone, because I don't believe in having societal cross sections where people are made to feel unwelcome. (There are exceptions to this- highly specialized spaces geared towards providing sanctuary for women, PoC, trans people, intersexed people, genderqueer people, gays, lesbians, people with disabilities, etc., might be a little exclusive of people with more privilege. But these spaces aren't the same as general fandom, where the requirement to get in is "liking this particular bit of media.")
It is a little weird and interesting to me how very much people (like yourself) do end up caring about people's delicate personal feelings and willing to place faith in their proclaimed identities, but that's another tangent.
Here's where it's going to get a little real, and a little awful.
When I was in high school, one of my close friends was raped by her boyfriend. She told me. And I didn't believe her. I didn't want to believe her, because he was my friend, too, and I didn't want to believe he would do something like that.
Years later, I know now that it was true. That he did. And not just to her, to other women we knew.
Not believing her not only destroyed my friendship with her, but made her life a living hell for a long time. And I was part of that.
I don't ever want to be that person again. I don't ever want to hurt another person like that again.
So, when people tell me about their terrible experiences with trauma and/or oppression? I believe them. It costs me nothing, and might make life for a person in pain just the tiniest bit better.
'Cause the world can be a hard, painful, scary place. And it doesn't get better by writing off every complaint as made up.