[ SECRET POST #1595 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1595 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 170 secrets from Secret Submission Post #228.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

02. http://i55.tinypic.com/ng4ldk.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

Even a kitty won't stop F!S from wanking, sorry to say.

[phaethon.livejournal.com]

As a fellow trans man, I understand completely. Maybe it's just because of the demographics of fandom -- particularly on LJ -- but being fannish seems like something that becomes exponentially more weird, awkward, or creepy when guys are the ones doing it.

[leafing.livejournal.com]

That's really sad. :(

[indevoutly.livejournal.com]

That must be very distressing for you OP.

All I can offer is my thoughts that if transition makes you happy and fandom makes you happy there is no reason why you can't have both. I... am wary of privilege being reduced to almost a monetary value, where you are excluded if you have too much and included if you have too little. You're proof that every person has a story which influences their life and that needs to be taken into consideration instead of black and white rules.

But those are my thoughts. I hope you find happiness and inclusion in fandom as the person you truly are. It's the least you deserve. (And I find you incredibly brave).

[karel]

see, this makes me sad for you, OP ): Please don't hate yourself, there's nothing wrong with you.

[eibborn.livejournal.com]

Stop saying and doing creepy things, then, and you can stop worrying about being perceived as a creep. I don't get why this is hard. You're obviously not comfortable with your fandom habits staying as they are, so you need to change your behaviour to fix that.

Not even going to touch on the "males are automatically creepy" part. I think it's dumb, but we're all entitled to our opinions and at least you aren't a hypocrite about it.

[(Anonymous)]

all of you who feel ~bad~ think of how you would feel if a non-trans man posted this secret. we'd tell him to shut the fuck up and stop whining about how hard it is for the poor menz.

so, op, shut the fuck up and stop whining about how hard it is for the poor menz.

[cloud-riven.livejournal.com]

I dream of a world where everyone is equally creepy. And everyone is equally creeped out.

[hoshika.livejournal.com]

TBH, I think some behavior in fandom is creepy coming from both males and females.

If your actions are truly creepy, it's not a bad thing. It's good and healthy to recognize behavior that will make someone uncomfortable. The next thing to do is change that, which is the hard part, unfortunately. D: I would also advise not beating yourself up!

[sanguinaryakiko.livejournal.com]

I personally wish fandom had more menfolk. I don't find fanboying to be creepy at all.

boys are nice!

[(Anonymous)]

Finally encountering "out" men in my fandoms after years of assuming this was a woman's game (esp. slash fic) was really great for me. It made me realize everybody likes a good story and everybody can get excited and happy over dumb things. Some of my favorite authors are men, and they are precious and rare. Now I actively assign no mental gender to fandom friends unless they are open about it one way or another.

It's a human game, loving and telling stories. Being fannish doesn't belong to one gender, nor should it. But do try not to be a creeper, something BOTH girls and boys can manage :) sounds like you're keeping an eye on it - you'll be fine!

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

...and this is exactly where the privilege thing has gone too far...

Don't creep yourself out, anon, you ARE the same person as before...

[(Anonymous)]

Either I know you, OP, or I know someone who's in the exact same place. Either way, *hugs*.

[(Anonymous)]

I am at the very beginning stages of transitioning and I have to admit that it never occurred to me that how I act in fandom would need to change or even be perceived differently. I guess that is something to think about. I don't know if changing your behavior is necessary, though.

[iambic5.livejournal.com]

Another tickmark in the 'isn't creeped out by guys in fandom' column. If you think something you're doing is inherently creepy, change it. Otherwise, don't worry about it, haters gonna hate et cetera. (Also best of luck with your transition! :D)

[(Anonymous)]

I have the same problem; the more I move towards transitioning, the more I feel like I'm infringing on spaces that were never meant for me, but in a lot of cases those spaces are all I have. I can give them up, and lose the few spaces where I feel both safe and comfortable or I can keep them, and feel guilty about intruding where I'm not wanted. And whatever I do, I can beat myself up for repressing this for so long I ever felt comfortable in spaces not meant for me. I wish I knew the solution.

[ariseishirou.livejournal.com]

...I have no idea what is supposed to be creepy about boys. I've never found them to be any creepier than girls. You're always welcome in my books.

[rocketgirl2.livejournal.com]

I don't think that transmen have a whole hell of a lot of privilege in our current society...

anyhow, OP, girls are incredibly creepy and objectifying, too. It's fandom. Embrace it. :)

[nota-lone.livejournal.com]

Boys are allowed in the clubhouse. It's only fair. :D

[(Anonymous)]

MY GOD! I think/hope the OP is on f-list because it would nice if they were that self aware. However I doubt it. And they hit on me in a very creepy way

[(Anonymous)]

As a genderqueer...let's go with dude (Biologically female, what gender you know me as depends on what context you know me.) I agree with your assessment of fandom finding guys creepy.

But don't fret. Pretty much EVERYONE outside of fandom sees what the girls do in fandom to be creepy too. It's just that in fandom there's this self-reinforcing circle of "but it's what fans do!" and act as though it's perfectly normal to fangirl, when anyone outside of fandom will admit that they find it creepy.

The reason why guys are found to be creepier is because they're outside of the normal circle of positive feedback. There's this sense of fandom is supposed to be a safe space for women, where they can justify their own eccentricities, because it's full of other people just like them. Men, by nature of being men, are not just like them. "It's ok for us to write porn about these characters, because other people are doing it too! Our kinks are perfectly valid because other people have them!" (Note: I'm not trying to kink shame here, but merely trying to provide the view of a "normal" person-the sort of ignorant type you're likely to encounter out on the street).

The only reason fangirling is seen as harmless is because fandom has built it up to appear so.

TL;DR Fangirls are creepy too, they just are more accepted. Don't feel bad for fanboying, because it's not making you any more creepy than them. It just seems that way because no one wants to admit their a creeper.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

You're the same person. Squee all you like.

[xenafox.livejournal.com]

Whaaaat the hell *facepalm*

[mutantjules.livejournal.com]

I like finding guys in my fandoms! Don't worry, you've as much right to be here as anybody.