[ SECRET POST #1625 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1625 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Sorry it's late. Half of tinypic being down = I have to go through manually and replace the ones that aren't working. Hopefully it'll be back by tomorrow

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 110 secrets from Secret Submission Post #232.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

LOL all of you.

You know it's fine to refer to a transperson retrospectively as their birth-gender, don't you? We won't hunt you down and kill you for remembering us as the gender we don't identify as, especially if you've not seen us for years.

Stop leaping to the asshole's defense. They did vile things to the OP, regardless of their gender identity and y'know what? It makes us look bad and hurts the chance of people other than you confounded social justice types ever taking us seriously if somebody asks "So, why are you posting stuff under a male guise?" and they respond with "Because male authors are more respected in fandom than girls".

The secret wasn't about the subject of the secret coming to terms with their gender identity, it was about the OP having suffered abuse from this cruel idiot and having it waved away with a lame 'Oh, I was just acting out'.

You all need to sort out your priorities.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you!

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

This, basically.

[judo-creature.livejournal.com]

You sound like a very reasonable person.

[citrusy-fun.livejournal.com]

Oh no!
Logic!!!

[danaphilip.livejournal.com]

in F!S

IT'S GONNA EXPLODE

[citrusy-fun.livejournal.com]

TAKE COVER!!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

+1

[tastylogic.livejournal.com]

This! My name, you has it.

[masked-creator.livejournal.com]

This.

And I don't get why everyone thinks the OP was being transphobic either.

[sky-queen3.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was going over the secret trying to see where this transphobia was and couldn't see it. (The secret is worded like the BNF hasn't had the surgery yet so I'm confused about what's transphobic about the secret.)

*Gosh I hope I haven't stepped on any toes.*

[(Anonymous)]

Well, pre-op transpeople should be addressed using the pronouns that they prefer too. But yeah, I don't really see what's so transphobic about the OP.

[sky-queen3.livejournal.com]

I apologise I didn’t know that, thanks for letting me know.

[hunter-san.livejournal.com]

That and this.

[(Anonymous)]

A voice of reason. It's about bloody time!

[(Anonymous)]

THANK YOU.

[sky-queen3.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Wooh, look at me chiming in! Thank you.

I think most of my actions in life can be traced back to my GID being the catalyst, but that doesn't excuse or justify anything, because hey, I've always had the choice to choose to or not to act like a right dick.

[no-one-specific.livejournal.com]

A million times, this.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe you don't have an issue with the child you being referred to by your birth sex, but I hate it when someone talks about what a cute little girl I was, and I know I'm not the only one. :/ I agree with you on the rest of it -- this "friend" sounds like absolute poison -- but as with most things in life, YMMV when it comes to how you feel about people referring to you by your birth sex, even retrospectively.

[twotailtinkerer.livejournal.com]

Well, I think in the OP's case it probably came down to grammar confusion more than anything. But yeah, the focus on the (imaginary?) transphobia to the point of flat out ignoring the awful shit this person did was kind of upsetting. At what point was a typo worse than malicious actions?

[(Anonymous)]

Well, retrospect is a fact of life and people don't (hopefully) do it specifically to offend.

I know some of us take that very personally, but it's not easy for the people around us to instantly switch, especially in memory. Obviously they should try a little harder if you express, specifically, that you dislike it, but generally they try and exact the change from when they found out, not retroactively.

They might remember playing with and growing up with a girl, even though their friend prefers to be known as a boy now and it is very difficult to disassociate something like physical gender (which is very important as an identifying point on a base level) from what they remember. The issue has been with us lifelong, but for them, it is often rather sudden, unless you came to terms with and came out about it early. Memories are not so easily edited. People will try, if they care about us, but be aware that it will not be an instant change and try not to get angry about it, especially at something mentioned in retrospect.

I think, in general, too many transpeople ignore the difficulties of their friends in favour of their own. Granted, it is a hard and often emotional transition for us to actually be accepted as the gender we identify as, but it is hard for those around us too. There is no mental switch for those who are told "I would prefer if you called me [opposite to physical gender name] and used [opposite physical gender] pronouns."

Regardless of these things, the voice-of-reason commenter's point still stands -- we will not be angry (unless you're a psycho) if you have difficulty switching the genders in memories, but we will (hopefully kindly and civilly) correct people if we are offended by it.

We want people to be understanding of what we are going through and how we wish to be seen, but we could stand to be a little more understanding of them and the associative changes they are having to make because of us, too.