fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1655 ]

[ SECRET POST #1655 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1655 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[The Secret of NIMH/Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH]

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03.

[Professor Layton and the Mask of Miracle]

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04.

[Homestuck]

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05.

[Sailor Moon, Yu-Gi-Oh!]

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06.

[True Grit]

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07.

[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]

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08.

[Pretty Little Liars]

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09.

[I'm From Barcelona]

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10.

[SJR]

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11.

[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]

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12.

(Lindsay Ellis/Channel Awesome)

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13.

[Teahouse]

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14.

[HIM (band), Bam Margera]

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15.

[Mahou Sensei Negima!]

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16.

[Russell T. Davies]

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17.

[Britney Spears]

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18.

[Rome]

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19.

[Channel Awesome/That Guy With the Glasses]

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20.

[Voltron Force, Last Exile]

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21.

[Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones]

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22.

[Victorious]

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23.

[Glee]

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24.

[Eerie Cuties]

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25.

[Last of the Summer Wine]

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26.

[The League of Gentlemen]

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27.

[Channel Awesome/That Guy With the Glasses]

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28.

[Agora]

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29.

[Doctor Who]

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30.

[Hannah Murray]

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31.

[Jem]

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32.

[Florence + the Machine (Cosmic Love)]

[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

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33. [ SPOILERS for Hanna (movie)]

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34. [ SPOILERS for Supernatural]

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35. [ SPOILERS for Scott Pilgrim (movie)]

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36. [ SPOILERS for Sheryl: Kiss in the Galaxy]

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37. [ SPOILERS for Doctor Who]

[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

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38. [ TRIGGER WARNING for rape]

[A:tLA]

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39. [ TRIGGER WARNING for incest]

[The Borgias]

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40. [ TRIGGER WARNING for rape]

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41. [ TRIGGER WARNING for domestic abuse]

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42. [ TRIGGER WARNING for incest]

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43. [ TRIGGER WARNING for stalking]

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44. [ TRIGGER WARNING for child sexual abuse ]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #236.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wow, what the fuck is wrong with you.

Excuse me? I had a valid question. Why on earth would anyone actually accept doing that? I can't even fathom a situation where one would ever be compelled to do so, so I'm wondering why she did it, if she did (did she feel compelled or did she really, really want it for some reason), or is she just talking about the experience of being asked to do it? No need to curse at me.

The demographic for Utena isn't little children, so I'm not thinking that the OP was very young. I could be wrong, though.

Uhhh when the movie first came out overseas, Central Park Media TOTALLY marketed it as "the next Sailor Moon", eg for little girls. And since when do kids look at a cartoon and go "OH NOT FOR MY TARGET DEMO BETTER NOT WATCH" anyway?

I figured due to the content of the show (abusive relationships, incest, etc.) it'd have been marketed more seriously and not toward little kids, but I guess not, then?

Central Park Media be silly. They also only released the first 13 episodes and the movie for the longest time, and only relatively recently released the rest (in horrible 3-episode singles), then promptly let it all go out of print and went bankrupt... then Nozomi picked it up.

You can see the original VHS tapes from CPM were very flowery, primary-colored and tried to play up the Sailor Moon connection (http://www.amazon.co.jp/Revolutionary-Girl-Utena-Crest-Dub/dp/images/6305120986) whereas Nozomi's new box sets are more elegant and mature-looking (http://utena.rightstuf.com/)

you are asking why an abuse victim was abused?

yeah no thats not a valid question

also, its called "grooming" look it up

I'm not asking why she was abused, I'm asking why she consented to it (in before abuse victims can't give consent, you know what I mean). Seeing as the show as meant for an older audience, I assumed she'd have been at least in her teens. So I was asking if she felt like she had to do it, or if it was just the memory of her stepdad asking, sheesh. Though according to the anon above, it was apparently marketed to a younger audience.

a child, or even a teenager's sense of judgement doesnt help exonerate the actions of an abuser, even if they did consent. Its a power game, doesnt matter whats at stake.

You sound you are trying to make what happened to her less significant because she was a teenager. And if she was coerced into consenting when she was a teenager, what of it? Theres a very high chance she had already been through a long cycle of abuse that led her to think her situation was normal.

I'm not trying to make it less significant; my full sympathies are with the OP. (and as someone pointed out, the wording makes it seem like they didn't do it, but was just asked) But because teenagers are generally more aware than small children, and from the secret it seemed like an out-of-the-blue request, it seemed odd to me that they would accept it, should they have. But as you said, they may have been through abuse before. There's also the possibility that she was younger than I am thinking.

Just to reiterate: these questions aren't being asked with a "durr hurr u so dum, y u do that" thought in mind. I'm not trying to belittle the OP's experience.

It likely wasn't out of the blue. It doesn't make it any less traumatizing. Abusers aren't typically one-time offenders. They don't just abuse once then they're done.

Thanks for being so articulate here. I've been trying to formulate a response but all I can do is keyboard mash in anger.

A VICTIM IS FORCED, NOT ASKED>

SHE WAS A WILLING PARTICIPANT
SHE AGREED TO DO IT
SHE IS IN THE WRONG TOO

This makes me sick, the OP is simply looking for a pity party and using "molestation" as a ploy to get it. She agreed to do this stuff, it wasn't forced, it wasn't rape....therefore SHE DESERVES THE CONSEQUENCES

If someone told me they would pay me $1,000,000,000 to kill someone and I DID IT WILLINGLY would you blame the person who PAID ME or THE ONE WHO COMMITED THE FUCKING MURDER?

I don't even know how to reply to you.

Emotional abuse/manipulation, abuse of power as a trust figure? Honestly, I..I don't even.

...Why? What is the matter with you?

Wow. You're a real charmer. No one deserves to be molested by someone they love and trust. If you honestly believe that then there is something very wrong with you.

You don't have to be very young (or stupid or gullible or anything else) to be coerced by an abuser.

I think the reason you were cursed at is because it's not really about the request anymore, the knowledge would still always be present that this person who you trusted and believed would take care of you is willing and wanting to do very inappropriate things that violate your trust.

Even if the OP had then chosen to refuse, how would you live with the knowledge? It may seem silly to say but it's really easy to tell other loved ones about the abuser and now that the OP's stepdad had made it clear they were willing to do that it's reasonable to assume you'd live in a state of fear.

Besides that, I can speak from personal experience in almost exactly the same situation. Though it wasn't for anime, I had asked my stepfather for something and he asked for sexual favors in compensation. I was 14, tried to laugh it off because it just seemed like a terrible joke, and the next day he brought it up again. When I feebly tried to get out of it saying I was tired, he said "he'd help me do it" anyway and that was that.

I remember being literally paralyzed with fear. I didn't tell my Mom for at least a year and it's only because I broke down and ended up telling my counselor who said she would tell if I didn't.

So point of long explanation is that once it's out there it can never be taken back whether it's acted on or not. And there's the added fuckery of it being someone you love and if you're afraid to lose their love it no longer becomes about the request, but something much more complicated.

In general, above user probably got pissed because they felt it was insensitive, but I realize that not everyone has had this particular experience as it is a unique situation and therefore you'd have questions.

TL;DR It happened to me, I was paralyzed with terror; only wish it was as easy as saying no to erase that kind of implied threat.

I read the first couple sentences of this comment and was going to thank you for explaining to the anon why people were jumping on them, but now I'm going to say-

I'm so, so sorry you went through that. =( I can't even....I can't even imagine. I don't know you, but I really hope you're doing alright since that incident. I also hope that your stepfather is really, REALLY far away from you right now, preferrably in prison. Just from this comment, you sound really mature, grounded, and awesome. You seem like a really cool person. Again, I'm sorry you went through that. You didn't deserve such a thing to happen to you. No one does.

...I just wanted to say that. Not very eloquent, but I just had to tell you that.

I appreciate you taking time to say that to me- that was very nice of you. <3 In any case, I am much better, not to worry. I only responded with my experience because I felt that anon could see that while it's an odd-sounding situation, it's unfortunately not an isolated one. Also, to hopefully make OP feel less alone.

Thankfully I no longer live in that situation, I moved out as soon as I turned 18. He's going to be moving out of the country sometime in the future and I've sought counseling since then. Also, I'm very flattered you think I'm mature, grounded, and awesome. :) You all of the same if you take time to respond to someone's comment in a thoughtful manner such as yours.

Also, it was quite eloquent- not to worry. In a very unrelated note, I love Avatar. Like your icon. <3

Don't worry, I think it was a valid question.
The people jumping at you are morons. Acting like you're an abuser.

As someone who's been abused, what she did was incredibly dismissive. By questioning someone when they said they've been abused (did it REALLY happen, why did you LET it happen, etc) she's perpetuating the belief that hey, you know what, victims really shouldn't be taken at face value.

But yeah, no, I'm just a moron, right.

Well I'm sorry you feel that way, but that's not what anon was going for. At all.

Thanks for the fauxpology, bro.

This is late, but I think you're misinterpreting the question. I wasn't asking it in a way to express that I think it didn't happen, but I didn't understand why someone would accept a deal like that, or how damaging it would be. As someone who hasn't been abused, it's not exactly my forte to think about things in the way that abuse victims would. As the other anons and the OP have explained about how the mindset works, I realize now what was happening.

I've already apologized for the way it was worded; I agree that looking at the second part it makes it seem like I was taunting the OP for what happened, but that honestly was not my intention. I'm sorry for offending you, and I get that I must have rubbed you the wrong way, but I wasn't trying to victim blame or place any responsibility on the OP. I was trying to understand what exactly was going on, to get a perspective from the OP about what happened. I didn't exactly mean for this to turn into a huge chain of comments.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #1655 ]

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A VICTIM IS FORCED, NOT ASKED

Re: A VICTIM IS FORCED, NOT ASKED

Re: A VICTIM IS FORCED, NOT ASKED

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