[ SECRET POST #1691 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1691 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 13 pages, 314 secrets from Secret Submission Post #242.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[nohara-megami.livejournal.com]

While I'm not a huge fan of people having kids young, it makes sense in a way that people (like James and Lily) were getting married right out of Hogwarts and having kids. There was a war going on and that is sometimes the norm in such circumstances. People are faced with their morality and they pair up and procreate. (At least this is my opinion, a bit like our Baby Boomer generation.)

And I don't think that makes them terrible role models at all. They were adults, choosing to make an important life decision.

As for the woman taking the man's last name, there is nothing wrong with that. Couples usually talk about it before they get married and come to a decision that meets their own needs. Some women choose to take the name while others don't. Not a big deal. Contrary to what some believe, it doesn't make you any more progressive to keep your maiden name, it all about what you prefer.

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty much all of this! Said better than I could say, though.

[(Anonymous)]

yeah, but every single woman of all ages and backgrounds and careers we see takes her husband's last name. that doesn't indicate thoughtful discussion, that indicates people just going with convention. (and I don't personally know of any couple who discussed it. that's not "usual," at least not everywhere.) even characters who might be more prone to keep or hyphenate etc their own names (i.e. hermione, arguably ginny given her later attitude/career, luna*) are shown as changing their last names to their husband's. no questions asked.

(*I'm not sure if Luna's name change has been confirmed by JK but I know all other sources refer to her as Luna Scamander.)

[(Anonymous)]

ACK darn html >:(

[(Anonymous)]

but what IS wrong with taking the husband's name? WHAT?

[(Anonymous)]

NO ONE IS SAYING THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT ON AN INDIVIDUAL BASIS

CALM DOWN AND ACTUALLY READ

the problem is when every woman ever takes their husband's name because that's just how it is or actual belief that they MUST

[(Anonymous)]

Oh you.

Telling the other anon to calm down when you are in capslock mode.

[(Anonymous)]

welcome to the internet outside facebook, where capslock doesn't always mean being worked up/angry/telling! hth.

[(Anonymous)]

Noone says they must. It's just...how can they be not a family if everyone ha different surnames? They are the Simpsons, not Mr. Simpson and Miss Bouvier.
Again, NOBODY says they 'must'. I've never heard about a woman being forced to change the name after she got married. My mom changed her name and took my dad's name when they married. But when they divorced, she got used to it and didn't change back. She had two marriages since then. Now it's 6th year of her and her third husband marriage and she decided (on her own will) to take his name only now.

(PS No I don't live in America.)

So CALM THE FUCK DOWN and stop shouting.

[meran-flash.livejournal.com]

I've never heard about a woman being forced to change the name after she got married.

It's called societal coercion, anon.

[(Anonymous)]

"how can they be not a family if everyone ha different surnames? "

lol are you serious right now? because that's the ONLY thing that matters in making a family. there is no reason for a woman to keep her own name. (career, last of her family, she simply LIKES her own name...)

and why are they the Simpsons and not the bouviers?

p.s. occasional caps isn't auto shouting welcome to the Internet outside Facebook

[(Anonymous)]

It's just...how can they be not a family if everyone ha different surnames?

That's ridiculous.

I've never heard about a woman being forced to change the name after she got married.

If you're talking a putting a gun to her head and making her sign the name change forms, then no. But you are dead wrong about women not being pressured into changing their names either by family or by social norms and convention.

Heck, look at you just a moment ago, saying that a family can't be a family if people have different names. That's a fine example of pressure. Now imagine that you're a woman getting married and people around you are telling you that, maybe including your soon-to-be-husband, even though you don't really want to change your name.

[helenadax.livejournal.com]

In Spain and Latin America women don't change her surname. Sometimes they add their husband's name (Hermione's name could be Hermione Granger de Weasley), but it's unusual. Everybody keeps their surnames. And our families are families.

[agnes-bean.livejournal.com]

It's just...how can they be not a family if everyone ha different surnames?

Because...we're a family? Like, what? My mother and father raised me, they live together and are married and are generally happy and etc. Why does it matter if my mom still has her original surname, and I have her surname as my middle name and my dad's as my last name (and we would still be a family if they hadn't given me her middle name anywhere in her name).

[(Anonymous)]

It's just...how can they be not a family if everyone ha different surnames?

Uh, in China, Women always keep their last names. And we have perfectly fine functioning families too, thank you very fucking much.

[philstar22.livejournal.com]

Even if that is true, there are other options. There is hyphenation. There is taking her name. There is creating their own new name. Taking his name is not the only option, and the fact that every single female character takes her husband's name in the books without even keeping her old one as a middle name speaks to societal convention and says that the wizarding world is not as progressive and free of sexism as JKR would like us to believe.

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

It's wrong that it is considered default . It's not wrong if it makes you happy, in your individual case.

[nohara-megami.livejournal.com]

Actually, I do know couples who talk about it. Most of my married friends did, as did I, when they decided to tie the knot. It's something that does need to be addressed at one point since if you choose to change or alter it, you have to deal with the pain in the butt process of getting it legally changed. It's not something you just walk into to without thinking, there's too much paperwork to deal with to do that mindlessly.

And what makes a character 'more prone to keep or hyphenate'? Just because Hermione decided to take the Weasley name doesn't mean she has a less firm stance on the equality for others. Maybe she wanted to take the name? Maybe she liked it? Doesn't mean that there wasn't thought involved, I doubt anyone was holding a gun to her head.

In the past I won't argue that it was expected, demanded even, that a woman takes her husband's name. Anthropologically speaking, it does denote a sense of ownership in a marriage that by carrying the name it means you are in a sense property but we're in the 21st century now. There are couples out there that keep their names and live happily with that. There are others who want to have the same last name and choose to do so. Yes, there are no doubt others out there who do it out of a sense of feeling that society will demand of it them but that is their own choice.

[meran-flash.livejournal.com]

you have to deal with the pain in the butt process of getting it legally changed. It's not something you just walk into to without thinking, there's too much paperwork to deal with to do that mindlessly.

Actually, in America, the process of changing your last name is enormously more easy for women than it is for men. We call that an institutionalized incentive.

Yes, there are no doubt others out there who do it out of a sense of feeling that society will demand of it them but that is their own choice.

lol @ "I choose my choice."

[nohara-megami.livejournal.com]

I know you have to petition the court for a name change if you aren't getting married/divorced, at least in my state, but I wouldn't call that institutionalized incentive. You have the same amount of steps either way, no one way is easier.

If you want to follow the lemmings off the cliff, you are still technically making the conscious decision to do so! Free will, gotta love humanity.

[(Anonymous)]

Wait, what? You know you are not refuting her point, right?

[ncc-gqmf.livejournal.com]

Nope -- as someone who's looked into this quite a bit, it really is far easier for a married woman to change her last name than it is for anyone else to change their name for any other reason.

[(Anonymous)]

God, you really are an obnoxious piece of shit, aren't you?

[(Anonymous)]

(SA, capitalization changing as I'm on my phone and it autocaps)

I don't doubt that you know such women and they exist. but I wouldn't say that it's COMMON yet. most married women I know have simply taken their husband's names because that's what's expected and easiest-- no real thought or discussion.

the problem is we have no insight to hermione's motivation and we certainly can't ask her. so yes, when you have women who would have reason to keep or hyphenate their names, instead take their husband's name, and EVERY SINGLE WOMAN in the ENTIRE SERIES takes her husband's name, that doesn't come off as "each couple had a thoughtful discussion and all came to the exact same conclusion." it comes off as simply following convention.

ohhh it's the 21st century! all problems of sexism/heteropatriarchy are nearly solved.

[nohara-megami.livejournal.com]

You're right, it's not a common practice everywhere. I'd hate to feel that I would have to change my name for the sake of convention but to each their own.

I do admit that it is odd that no one kept their own names in the series. Personally I believe that was a decision on the part of the author rather than the overall example that no one in that universe would choose any differently. Maybe JKR didn't want to go that deep into the thought of the tradition of name changing, it is a kids series after all.

Yeah, not so much obviously. But as a society, in many places, since it is indeed 2011 and not 1911 we have the ability to not follow convention. Of course, not all will use the tools available and just go with that they assume need to be done to fit in. But keeping your maiden name doesn't mean your destroying sexism or helping the battle, making the decision for yourself and talking it over does help keep the proactive thinking going.