[ SECRET POST #1832 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1832 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 139 secrets from Secret Submission Post #262.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

The people telling you to "just" change usernames are kind of full of shit. It makes total sense to want to not have to hide because of a fucking grudge. It hurts to be targeted like that. A name change won't make OP feel better even if they ARE accepted all of the sudden. And it doesn't make you "cooler" than OP if YOU can get over that shit easily. Shut the fuck up.

OP, you shouldn't have to be dogpiled time and time again for what some fuckwits think is a mistake, and you shouldn't have to get a sock account either. Maybe you could find a part of the same fandom where those idiots don't hang out?

[(Anonymous)]

You mad?

Making a new account is called an easy way out. Confronting people who have a history of trying to make other people miserable just isn't worth it sometimes simply because they won't listen to a thing anybody tells them except their friends in their own circle jerk. Fighting on the internet is stupid and if blocking the problem doesn't work, sometimes you need to consider another option.

[(Anonymous)]

I found the blasé "*shrug, eyeroll* just make a sock" comments infuriatingly dense, yes. It's clear from OP's secret that this is a bit fucking more emotional than just being inconvenienced. Yes, OP can make a sock account. OP probably isn't an idiot and knows that. Those comments that gloss past the bullying and abuse, however? Fucking stupid.

[(Anonymous)]

You should grow a thicker skin. The internet is full of assholes, and ignoring this shit is the most efficient way of fighting them.

[(Anonymous)]

I see you're not actually comprehending this. Wow.

Look, I don't have a problem with OP making a sock account if they want to remain in that fandom.

I have a problem with people thinking other people need to grow "thicker skin" just because they aren't as hypothetically bothered by the same situation.

I have a problem with the commenters above being all blasé about this secret, like OP's pain is meaningless.

You should try empathy. I'll leave you to discover that concept.

[hooves.livejournal.com]

I agree with you, random anon sir/ma'am.

My issue, here, is this:

Having a thick skin can be really nice, but I think it's pretty terrible to expect perfectly good, innocent people to have to put up with crap while other people get away with treating people badly.

Not saying everything should be fair-- we all know life isn't fair-- but I find the "go make a sock, leave the fandom, change your username" to insinuate that a.) the OP has to be the one to change, and b.) it's okay that these people are doing this, maybe if everyone had a thicker skin, douchebaggery wouldn't affect anyone. <--Untrue.

To the OP:

It's ridiculous that these people are treating you this way. I avoid big fandoms prooobably because of the BNF circles. Remember, a BNF is simply well-known; they can be just as big a BNF for good fic as bad as mediocre.

Constructive criticism in most fandoms is a good thing. I know I love to get it! Even if I don't agree with the criticism offered, I am pleased that someone looked closely enough at my story to even THINK of criticism to write in a more detailed tone than, "you missed a comma here".

I don't know what fandom you are in, OP, where this took place, but I sure wish I did. I would probably ignore the haters as best I could and stick to posting in a more private place-- like my own LJ, LJ comms, maybe if there is a fic website, et cetera.

I'm not saying you should hide from these bloody BNFs, but do what's right for you. I could never publish fanfiction under a sock account, ever. I want my work credited with my name-- anything else would make me sick. I'd rather not even post it online if I can't claim it as my own under my normal/usual pen-name.

Best of luck, OP.

[checkerblob.livejournal.com]

I'm a very sensitive person. This isn't a good thing, and I DO need to grow a thicker skin. I completely acknowledge that. However... that doesn't mean that other people should me mean to me. That doesn't take the blame off of them. Just because I should stand up for myself doesn't mean that someone else should purposely push me down. Also, my sensitivity is what leads me to be more sensitive to other people. Honestly, in that situation, I'd rather be sensitive than be the toughest fucker around if it meant being mean to people (not that a person can't be thick-skinned and kind- I know people who are).

"Having a thick skin can be really nice, but I think it's pretty terrible to expect perfectly good, innocent people to have to put up with crap while other people get away with treating people badly."
This, absolutely this.

lol @ me making this all about me: OP, if you want to get a sock, go for it, but know that what these people have done to you is NOT okay, and you are NOT the one who needs to change. I'd like to say "fuck those people, who cares what they think", but, although it's true, that's way easier said than done. What other people say does have an affect on you, even if they're bullying jerks, which it sounds like they are. I hope things get better for you. If getting a sock helps and you want to do it, do it, but do it to make YOUR life easier and not because you have anything to apologize for.

[meiko-matsui.livejournal.com]

This. Thank you for saying what I was going to. I don't even mind that you beat me to it. ;D

[(Anonymous)]

I wasn't the same anon though.
You should try learning not to be so sensitive, I hear it works wonders.

[(Anonymous)]

'Try learning not to be so sensitive?'

Seriously???

Try learning not to be an ass.

[(Anonymous)]

Nah I like it this way. I seldom get angry like this.

[(Anonymous)]

You'll die cold and alone.

[(Anonymous)]

Cool, that's my plan.

[nomorenoodles.livejournal.com]

Maybe instead people should try learning to be a little nicer.

Yes it's naive and it's good to not take jerk-ass-y comments on the internet to heart, but one can dream.

[vicfrankenstein.livejournal.com]

<3 So much, annon. Just because it doesn't bother you doesn't mean that nobody else has any right to be bothered by the same thing!

[violence4.livejournal.com]

I assumed the fandom wasn't big enough for OP to be able to just move to another part of it.

My real advice would be to just be like fuck it and leave those twats behind, but in the secret OP seems really big on staying in the fandom, in spite of all the abuse. If they are set on this, making a sock probably is the easiest way. To be honest I don't understand why OP would want to stay in a fandom with people like this. I know I'd be running for the hills cos this lot sound completely batshit insane. (I know it's fun to be in a fandom for something you love, of course I do, but not one like this, surely?) But if OP is really set on still participating, a sock journel might be the only way to do this. I dunno. Sounds like they really don't forget any grudges.

[(Anonymous)]

Jumping to conclusions much? I hardly think it's cooler to create a sock or that it takes the emotional pain away.

But after being out of the fandom for a while it's just seems like an easier option to just start over again. If these people are the assdicks OP's says they are then why let them know where you are when they want to bother you, best to just avoid it all together because it's not likely they'll change. Anonymity on the internet can be used for good things too.
(No the OP shouldn't have to change, OP's harassers should, but the world isn't how it should be.)

The other option is keep your username and ignore the shit out of them.

[mika-kun.livejournal.com]

The OP explicitly said that they don't know what to do. People are giving them an option. Nobody is actually saying that it's fair or right or anything, just that it's an option.

[(Anonymous)]

You've left a succinct and correct take on the thread, and I'd like to congratulate you for that.