[ SECRET POST #1920 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1920 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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26. http://i42.tinypic.com/21m7v28.png
[linked for... sort of scribbly porny, not really]








Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 040 secrets from Secret Submission Post #274.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[amethyst-rei.livejournal.com]

Not that I've never seen misogyny in fandom before (misandry too, for that matter), but the number of these secrets that have been popping up at F!S makes me wonder if either it's everywhere and just went right over my head or if I'm just lucky enough to have not encountered it as much as some people.

[margerydaw-s2.livejournal.com]

Well, considering you seem to think misandry is a real thing, I think it just went over your head, yes.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh come off it, you really don't believe that there are some people out there who legitimately hate men irrationally? You want to see misandry in action, come hang out with my mother sometime. There's a reason my dad divorced her as soon as he realized how horrible she was, and there's a reason I have custody of my younger brother (hint: it's because my mom was an abusive lunatic and neglected him in favor of my half-sister- she literally told him the reason she didn't care about him was because he was a boy).

Actually, on second thought, DON'T come hang out with my mother. One of her is bad enough. D:

[margerydaw-s2.livejournal.com]

There is prejudice against men. Misandry, however, would require women as a group to hold power over men, which they do not. Your mother sounds like someone I'd frankly hate, tbh, obviously she has issues.

[(Anonymous)]

I always had heard misandry defined as hatred against men? That does make sense though. Thanks for explaining.

And yeah, my mom does have issues- not really sure what they are, TBH. She thinks I'm a traitor because I went to live with my dad as soon as I possibly could, and because I took her to court for custody of my brother as soon as I realized what was going down. Yet because I'm female she tries to "make amends" with me every few months- it never goes well, usually ends up with me drunk and screaming into the phone.

Sorry, you probably didn't want to know all this... didn't mean to dump on you.

[margerydaw-s2.livejournal.com]

No problem.

That sounds pretty exhausting, really. I wouldn't be able to handle much of that without cutting contact.

And don't worry. Everyone needs to vent sometimes.

[amethyst-rei.livejournal.com]

That makes no sense whatsoever. Misogyny is misogyny, regardless of who or how many people is enforcing it. It's still sexism. It's still the hatred and discrimination and prejudice against a person's gender.

Misandry is no different.

Unbelievable.

[(Anonymous)]

What you're talking about is sexism. Sexism requires power. So you cannot be sexist against men. But you can be misandrist. Misandry is just the hatred of men, not a systematic prejudice against men (which doesn't exist).

Much like how you cannot be racist against white people, but you can be prejudiced against them.

[dontgiveahoot.livejournal.com]

Yes, this. You can certainly have misandrist individuals, but misandry is not socially institutionalised the way that misogyny is.

[(Anonymous)]

Don't bother, anon. Everything is a man's fault, even (and especially) when it is a woman's fault. You can't with with the SJWs, they're too devoted to being oppressed.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I noticed that..

[amethyst-rei.livejournal.com]

I have a cousin who literally beats on her husband. =/ We don't even try to get involved anymore because he used to get really upset whenever anyone tried to help and she, well. To say she's unreasonable would be putting it lightly.

There was an incident where one of my aunts actually called the police and, well... it didn't turn out well. I don't know all the details but I think the cops didn't take it seriously at all (It was years ago, but from what I remember hearing about it they might have even mocked the situation), it caused a huge fight with that part of the family, and they've been sort-of estranged ever since.

Not the same as your situation, obviously, but I wanted to let you know that I'm very familiar with female-caused domestic violence. A lot of people like to play it off like it's not serious-- or possible-- but it really is.

[fuchsiascreams.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's sad, a lot of people feel like there is no such thing as domestic violence against men, or think that somehow it "doesn't count", shouldn't matter, or is not as important as domestic violence against women because it's not as common - which is really sad, because clearly, it is possible, and it affects a lot of people.

[amethyst-rei.livejournal.com]

...are you serious? Oh, what am I asking? Of course you are.

There was a woman on LJ who actually said she thought men deserved to be raped because females have had to put up with it for all of time, and because of that they had no right to complain when it does happen to them (and I'll be searching for her lovely comment so ya'll can have a good stare).

If you think that "man hating" doesn't exist, you're delusional. Just because it's a smaller sphere, or a more silent corner, does not make it non-existent. And it certainly doesn't make it okay.

Sexism does not just apply to women. Mo.

[margerydaw-s2.livejournal.com]

I am sure man hating exists. As I said, misandry goes deeper than that.

Saying anyone deserves to be raped is just a sign that the person is a disgusting human being and shouldn't get to speak ever.

[(Anonymous)]

Just how deep is misandry deep?

[greeneyed.livejournal.com]

Yes, there are women who irrationaly hate men, BUT it's not misandry. Men have the privilege in our little, hateful world and misandry would mean women should be in the position of power.

[(Anonymous)]

Misandry by definition is a hatred of men. Sexism is the systematic oppression you're referring to. Sexism = prejudice + power.

Misandry and misogyny are both prejudices. Since misogyny often goes hand in hand with power, it is sexism. Misandry does not have systematic power, and is therefore not sexism. But misandry most certainly exists (much less common, but you know).

[fuchsiascreams.livejournal.com]

Oh my God! I can't believe that somebody would say that. Now that you mention it, though, I remember reading a similar comment, though I don't think she went so far as to wish rape on men.

Geez, that's awful. Rape is terrible for ANYBODY, man or woman. I personally know a man who has been raped and it affected him JUST as badly as it would affect a woman, and perhaps even in ways that a woman would not be affected by it.

tl;dr, rape is devastatingly awful and traumatic for ANYBODY, whatever gender, and wishing it on anyone is a really awful sentiment.

But I agree. A poster explained it above really well, I think - that, for example, racism cannot happen to white people because they are systematically oppressed, but white people CAN experience prejudicial behavior. It's sort of a semantics argument here, but I sort of agree: clearly it's possible for a person to hate a man for no reason. I think the point of contention here is whether or not men experience detrimental effects because of this man-hating, which I'm not sure that they can - at least, not the way women can - but that isn't part of the dictionary definition of misandry, so I don't know whether or not that argument is relevant.

[urplesquirrel.livejournal.com]

It always makes me sad to see the misogyny/misandry debates start. It always ends up with a group of people who basically agree with each other fighting and being really nasty over what comes down to an issue of vocabulary. Do we use the words by the dictionary definition, or by how the current generation of activists have defined them?

I wish people would stop and realize that the vocabulary really isn't that important compared to, y'know, what the words are actually referring to - irrational hatred of any kind.

[(Anonymous)]

Both?

I mean I think I'm both tbh. I'm super picky with my fandoms and comms that I join. Sometimes I feel like I have some kind of radar for the level of misogyny in some fandoms.

Also I don't go to tumblr.

[amethyst-rei.livejournal.com]

I don't do tumblr, either. :/

I have noticed sexism in quite a few fandoms (mainly the yaoi ones), but it's never been to the extent that a lot of people on F!S claim. It's probably because my main concern in fandom is reading (and sometimes discussing) fic. There are a few fandoms I do participate in (no longer avidly, though), but even then that's only occasionally.

[(Anonymous)]

It's pretty much everywhere; you might not have noticed b/c your fl may not tilt that way; it might not be that prevalent in your fandom(s) of choice or the women not be "interfering" w/the "canon" relationship of m/m on the show.

I got so sick of it that I've joined Support Mary Sues and Love Mary Sues communities on DW and various femslash communities (femslash kink ones, femslash big bangs, etc.).

[(Anonymous)]

I guess it really depends on the fandom and your circle. Het/slashers are ridiculously territorial when it comes to their ships which = bashing.

The weirdest thing is when you get misogyny in femmslash circles. Big WTF for me.

[were-lemur.livejournal.com]

Ship wars just bring out the ugly. :(