[ SECRET POST #1961 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1961 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 043 secrets from Secret Submission Post #280.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

03. http://i48.tinypic.com/2mfbqsn.jpg

[drunken-clowns.livejournal.com]

I think it's because I'm gay that it's pretty much the opposite for me. It's pretty gross to start grabbing parts when you're right in front of your friends, but because I've had to be discreet about relationship stuff when I wanted to just be open about who I was with (and then even once I was free to do that, had relationships with people who weren't), I can't understand at all why somebody wouldn't just want to be out about it. It's always annoying for me when two characters hook up and decide "let's not tell the others," when the others in question wouldn't do anything worse than friendly teasing. I guess being able to be open is something that I really value because of my experiences.

It's okay that you don't like that kind of thing, OP, but I hope one day that you'll at least have a circle of friends who you'd be safe being coupley around with a partner, even if you choose not to.

[pinkealing.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I feel the same way when I see this in fanfic. Depending on what fandom it is most fics like this should automatically have an OOC warning in my opinion.

[(Anonymous)]

But what if it *isn't* OOC for the characters? There are characters who *are* very affectionate in canon, so it stands to reason they would be just as affectionate, if not more so, in an actual relationship. Would that still count as 'Needing an OOC warning'?

[(Anonymous)]

You and me both OP, the only thing I hate more than real life making out in public is fanfic making out in public.

Gahw Especially if it's in a crowded place, god I remember being in a concert once, which was packed and this couple right next to me (and I mean RIGHT next to me) was down in each other's throat. I had to suppress with every fiber of my being not to shout get a fucking room. It's just so obnoxious and gross.

[vongroovy.livejournal.com]

PDA is fine, but other characters excessively teasing or, like, actively shipping a couple in their hearing is a huge turn off. Awkward awkward awkward.

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, from your secret I'm not sure I understand the exact problem. Do you just dislike public displays of affection? That's just fine. But since you mention you imagine people's reactions if you did, maybe you would like to but don't feel comfortable? In that case, I'm sorry you live in a place where you feel so threatened. But maybe it's a little in your head? I know I felt anxious about doing some things in public with a girl and then it turned out nothing much happened. Are you sure there isn't a single place in your city where you couldn't kiss someone of your gender and be fine? Again, I don't know where you live, but many times we expect people to freak out and they don't.

Now, you mention teasing from other characters in fic. If you mean playful teasing by friends and you aren't comfortable with being open in front of your friends, then I'm just really sorry you feel a need to hide even from the people closest to you. I hope you can overcome this or maybe find some better friends.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, dear. Never say something might just be in someone's head, fellow anon. It brings out the crazy like worms in a rainstorm.

[ansley15.livejournal.com]

Depends on where you are. Most of the parties I go to are "gay parties" so same-sex kissing is to be expected. Half of my friends are queer, and the half who aren't don't care. If I were to leave my nice liberal college town and go home...yeah...not so much, though. I hope wherever you are, you find a community where you CAN have same-sex relationships in public *hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

I don't really understand why the concept of PDA bothers anyone,
whether they're in a relationship or not.

I never noticed or paid any mind to it when I was single, and quite frequently cuddle / kiss / hold / etc my boyfriend in public.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's a bit of a cultural thing? It seems common among Americans, for example. I didn't realize it was a common opinion before I got to interact with many Americans online.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I usually don't mind either.

The only time that really bothered me was when I was in a library this one time, and this couple basically started dry humping each other RIGHT NEXT TO ME. A park or concert is one thing, but I thought I wouldn't have to deal with that kind of think in a library.

[fierceawakening.livejournal.com]

This. I'm not sure why anything save grinding or really intense makeouts should bother anyone at all. Humans feel attraction. Humans feel closeness to people they're attracted to. The big deal: where it is?

Yeah, I get that it's not always safe to be obvious when you're queer. Sometimes I do anyway and sometimes I don't. But I'm not sure why this would make the concept of PDAs inherently weird.

In fic... I don't know. If the fic's about the kink of doing public stuff, that's one thing. (And IMO hot, but YMMvastlyV on that.) If characters are just demonstrative, okay. If they're wildly PDA-ing in a scene that was otherwise about, I don't know, trout fishing, then I'd probably be more "whoa, writing fail -- needz moar transitions!" than I would be uncomfortable with the groping or whatever.

[lone-defender.livejournal.com]

Besides personal preference about privacy or decency and perception of manners, the reception or rejection of PDA is also cultural. Some places it's accepted, other places it's very not okay. OP might be from somewhere leaning more toward the latter end of the spectrum.

[(Anonymous)]

I hate PDA, because it's just embarrassing, I always feel like I'm seeing something that should be done in private. Of course holding hands or hugging is fine, but once it gets down to tongues, it's just too much and I do feel like the couple is showing off or trying to prove something, although I'm not sure what.

I feel very embarrassed in reading those fics as well, but mainly when the couple are written as practically shagging in front of their colleagues and the colleagues making snarky remarks etc. I don't mind the relationship being public.

[velvet-mace.livejournal.com]

Yeah, public displays of affection in fic embarrass me. They do in real life as well. Holding hands, okay, a quick kiss, fine. But making out and feeling each other up while everyone stares? HELL NO. And sex in public -- god no. I've been forced to be a voyeur irl and I hated every second of it. What's more it takes all the intimacy out of the situation.

[ologist.livejournal.com]

Forced to be a voyeur? How's that work then, could you not have just left?

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed OP. I super hate PDA in my own relationships and find it awkward to observe in other couples, so I never ever want that in my stories. Suddenly!Public relationships are the only thing I truly hate in fic.

/personal opinion

[icarian-ink.livejournal.com]

I haven't formed much of an opinion about PDA in fic, but friendly teasing from other characters? For some reason that's one of my favorite things. I think I like such open support of a relationship and the cute blushing it inspires. Oh so fluffy.

[(Anonymous)]

Hm. I don't mind PDA in fic (as long as its not overtly sexual and sloppy), but I get all crinkly-nosed when people start referring to each other by unironic terms of endearment. No loving babies, honeys, hons, sweethearts, loves while surrounded by other people for me, please.

I have no idea why that is, and I admit that it's a little weird.

[pinkealing.livejournal.com]

I get all crinkly-nosed when people start referring to each other by unironic terms of endearment. No loving babies, honeys, hons, sweethearts, loves while surrounded by other people for me, please.



Totally agree with this. For some reason it just irks me when people only refer to eachother as "babe." I think actually calling your partner by their name is more intimate than some dumb pet name.

[(Anonymous)]

I read "unironic" as "unicornic" and thought it was a fine adjective.

[(Anonymous)]

But what if canonically it would work? Say A and B get together. A is out and has had same-sex PDA before and has had fun, gentle teasing from friends. If B wasn't closeted and show no disinterest in PDA, wouldn't it stand to reason that PDA/fun teasing would occur? Especially if they were younger, it would seem stranger to me if this DIDN'T happen.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't mind PDA, but I hate fics where:

1) The relationship goes public and instead of just saying "Congratulations" all of the other characters start acting like this relationship is the most important thing ever, getting super involved and nosy and apparently having no life outside of gushing over the fact that these two are dating.

2) It's a same-sex pairing set in a time/place where making this public would be dangerous, but authenticity is completely ignored and instead no one has a problem with it and may even think it's cute. I realize that just because the prevailing culture is homophobic doesn't mean everyone in it is, but you'd think the characters would be working under the assumption that negative reactions will be more common than positive ones and take necessary measures. I've actually read fics that combine 1 and 2. It's surreal.

3) Public interactions that involve things nobody really ever says or does in public. Declarations of love? Sure. Marriage proposal? Happens all the time. Long, drawn-out conversations about the meaning of their relationship? Not so much. In real life, everyone else would get bored and wander away before they got to the part where it was acceptable to clap and cheer.

[relmneiko.livejournal.com]

...I used to hate PDA but then I realized I'm just jealous I'm not getting any. Given the opportunity... I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak. So yeah, I'm one of those people, haha.