[ SECRET POST #1967 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1967 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #281.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[drunken-clowns.livejournal.com]

I think what they're trying to say is that sometimes making compromises is a good thing, as long as what's going on isn't like super disturbing to anyone. If you don't want to do it, that's fine, but if you can have fun with it and enjoy what it's doing for your partner, even if you're not super turned on yourself, then that's great! Especially because people develop all sorts of kinks all over the course of their lives, and a "hey I'm pretty okay with doing this for you even if it isn't my kink" attitude can be really helpful for when you get some kind of weird interest that isn't necessarily what floats your partner's boat.

Again, if you don't want to do something you shouldn't have to do it, but there is something to be said for being open to helping out your partner (if they're doing the same for you.) I think it's hard to find someone you're exactly sexually compatible with, especially if you're looking for emotional compatibility too, so idk. Of course you shouldn't have to be the other yaoi guy if you really don't want to, but it's not the worst thing in the world to consider?

[(Anonymous)]

This! It's happened on both sides with my SO, and sometimes it's led to the other person thinking,"hey, I could get into this", sometimes to exploring the idea so we can modify it to work for both of us or straight-up trying something different but related, and sometimes to the switching off you mentioned (or: sometimes to tabling, or sometimes just not working out at all and ruining the mood and then we hear a sad trombone noise and now we gotta go clean up and, like, talk about it, oh man). So it's not super-fun-excellent-sexy-times-always, but, as part of a couple with a decent height/weight disparity, it doesn't feel entirely different from the initial body-Tetrising that was necessary for sex at first.

[(Anonymous)]

if you KNOW something is going to make you uncomfortable, that's the end of the fucking conversation. fuck you and fuck everybody else for implying people can't ~knock it until they try it. just fuck you.

[(Anonymous)]

Whoa, that's not what I was saying. The initial conditions are: one person's interested, the other person is neutral or just never thought of it before, but both are good with it, not one person interested and the other uncomfortable.

These are the crucial lines from drunken_clown that I was replying to and agreeing with, here (emphasis mine):

"I think what they're trying to say is that sometimes making compromises is a good thing, as long as what's going on isn't like super disturbing to anyone.

and

Again, if you don't want to do something you shouldn't have to do it, but there is something to be said for being open to helping out your partner (if they're doing the same for you.)

[drunken-clowns.livejournal.com]

oh man I know what that's like. My partner and I are about the same height and weight, but neither of us has the highest sex drive and I'm not really into several things on the 'standard package' of sex for two ladies. So it can be a little awkward to try ~the weird stuff~ but it can also be a little awkward to just do the regular stuff, and without getting even more TMI, I'll just say that sometimes trying out new things has been great. Even the regular stuff is sorta "I'll do you, then you do me" so if she ends up liking something that I don't really think is that hot, it's less of a big deal.

So I guess I can understand intellectually why somebody wouldn't want to try a pretty harmless kink, and I definitely get it if the kink is something really really disgusting to the person who doesn't want to try, but I can't quite really understand where the OP is coming from.