[ SECRET POST #1981 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1981 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 68 secrets from Secret Submission Post #283.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. http://i48.tinypic.com/35j9pjr.png

[(Anonymous)]

Or you could...IDK...start a conversation with someone because of their ringtone? Whats the worst that could happen, it's not like you would have to see them again if the conversation fails miserably.

[oftheark]

I'm sure plenty of people would like to be your friend. However, very, very few of them are just going to present themselves, especially over a ringtone. You're going to have to do some of the work yourself.

[brightblueink]

Think about this for a second. How many people walk up to a random stranger to start a discussion about their ringtone? Most of the people who would recognize it would be just as shy as you. You're going to have to get in an environment where you have to talk to people instead of waiting around for them to talk to you. Try joining a club or something?

[morieris]

I do the same thing with my shirts and my HP scarf...I do get compliments, and we may talk for five minutes, but nothing more than that and I accept it and just don't put myself out there /shy.

I know how you feel anon - but you have a lot more perseverance than I do.

[cyren2132]

The biggest problem with that is that, if it's your ringtone, anyone who's interested would have to follow you around until you were done talking on the phone before they could comment. Not only is that creepy, it's kind of a lot of work for somebody who's just passing by.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm actually the opposite.

I wanted to have a fandom related ringtone, but I didn´t want something most people could identify, so I chose an obscure song from a Final Fantasy game. So far, I'm happy with it, because nobody has guessed it so far, and actually I have got comments on how nice my ringtone is without having to explain my nerd side. I guess if I ever found someone who knew, I'd be a little uncomfortable. :P

[unicornherds]

You can't really expect everyone else to do something you're not willing to do yourself. I know it's scary, and hard, and seems impossible, but try and strike up a conversation yourself. Keep an eye out for clues - ringtones, same taste in clothing or hair or something, pins that give a clue to what they like, etc - and just dive in.

You're going to strike out occasionally. Not everyone will be willing to chat, and not everyone who is willing to chat will become a friend. But you won't get anywhere if you don't try.

Remember: people don't see what's going on in your head, only what you put out there. In other words, people aren't going to notice how terrified and nervous you are and they also won't see how much you want to talk unless you speak up.

[(Anonymous)]

One of my first friends at university was a random guy that I was sitting next to in the introductory lecture. The lecturer was talking about the internet, and some of the different names used, and both of us whispered "blagosphere" at the same time. We looked at each other, whispered "xkcd?" and that was that. Somehow, we ended up renting a place with a few other friends that we gathered up for our second year.

My housemate in my third year had a very similar Ace Attorney ringtone set-up that I had (only my text alert was Edgeworth's "Objection!" as opposed to Wright's.

What I'm trying to say is - it can very easily happen. But if you want to make it happen sooner, see if your college has any groups for things that you're interested in. I'm not sure how it works over there, but in the UK, we have university societies for everything - and that's how I met the majority of my good friends who enjoy fandom the way I do.

[visp.livejournal.com]

I'd advise joining some campus clubs that are relevant to your interests, instead. A lot of schools have an anime club - try that, if you're into it.

[(Anonymous)]

Start a conversation with somebody in one of your classes. It can be class related (a particularly difficult/long/boring assigned reading, how you're doing on an upcoming assignment) or, well, anything. Ask if anybody else watched some show or if anybody's seen that movie.

If class gets out around a meal time, there's probably at least somebody you could eat with. As people are packing up, just ask if anybody else is going to the dining hall/is getting food. At college you can always talk about where people are from and what their majors are.

[(Anonymous)]

You're relying not only on extreme coincidence, but also expecting people to act in a way that you yourself won't.

Now, relying on extreme coincidence isn't necessarily the most successful approach, but it can work. (For example, in my very first university class ever I sat down next to a girl. All we got from talking to each other was that our dorm rooms were actually on the same floor, and neither of us had another class for an hour, so she ended up coming back to my dorm with me. While there she saw my copy of I Am America (And So Can You!), freaked out, pulled it out, and all of a sudden we found out we that both of us were in fandom and we actually had a ton in common. So extreme coincidence can yield you results... but after three years of schooling, that's the only time it ever happened to me.)

But really, if you heard a ringtone from a fandom you recognized, would you go over to the person whose phone was ringing and start up a conversation? From the way you've worded this secret it doesn't sound like you would, so... why would you expect someone else to?

If you're content to keep wishing and waiting, then dream on for the coincidence, OP, there's definitely a chance it could happen. But if you really want to find a fandom friend at school then be a little more proactive. See if there are any clubs, or maybe just make friends in general because who knows - there's a chance they're just as shy about fandom irl as you.

[chocorate]

Usually when I recognize a ringtone and the person is near me I'll say something but I'm not going to walk up to them when they're on the other side of the lecture hall or at the end of the bus lineup or something and start talking y'know? It's kinda weird and will get awkward fast.

[rudderlesshippy]

I've heard a few fandom related ringtones in my time, but I'm too socially impaired to approach anyone about it.

On a related note, I had the victory music from FF7 as my message tone last year and had it go off in class. About a third of my classmates burst out laughing and the rest just sat there looking confused.

[deird1]

Don't give up hope. It took five years before people started recognising the spaceships on my desk...

[(Anonymous)]

Am I the only one confused here? You must get calls/texts/pics often enough to make this recognize-the-ringtone thing even an option, so people are clearly talking to you regularly. Why are you lonely?

[(Anonymous)]

You shouldn't be so butthurt that not everyone thinks the same way you do OP.

Get over it.

[(Anonymous)]

OP, why would people strike up a conversation with a stranger over the ringtone? Even if I make a comment about "cool ring tone, is it from X?" I'm hardly going to followup with exchanging numbers or facebook. That's creepy.

Go join a club or something with regular attendance.

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh, I know how hard it is to make friends when you're not extroverted or socially confident. It always felt like saying things along the lines of "Oh hi, can I hang out with you?" might come off as somewhat pesky and I was terrified of scaring people off.

I met my college friends in the dorm's TV room, so if you've got one of those, try hanging out in there sometime and watching something you like. Maybe someone will join you. :)

[kijikun]

I'm sorry so many people are acting like its easy to put yourself out there. I know its not. I'm not sure if you have social anxiety issues but I know I do, and it makes something simply like starting a conversation with a stranger nerve wracking.

You might have better luck hanging out in some sections at a used book store. I'd recommend trying to join a club. A lot of campuses have sci-fi clubs and such that often do movie nights. Start off attending the movie night, you won't have to put yourself out there quite as much but it'll give you something to talk to with people there afterwards.

Good luck, I hope things go well for you.

[(Anonymous)]

That is not the way to make friends. I have one fantastic friendship that started with a comment about shared fandom (about my shirt, not a ringtone), and it would have stopped there if we hadn't happened to keep running into each other over the next couple days. If you want friends - especially fannish friends - try looking for a club or any event that will let you meet people with your interests. Don't expect people to approach you. I mean, if your ringtone caught my attention, I'd think, 'Oh, cool,' in my head, but unless you were literally right next to me and it didn't look like I was bothering you, I wouldn't even think of saying anything. Even then, I might just say, 'Like your ringtone.' If you want to make something more of it, it's then up to you to actually start a conversation. If you would do that, cool, good luck to you. But, really, there are much better ways to make friends.

[englishsparkle]

I felt the same way when I started sixth form college- I didn't know anyone and felt really lonely. I'm sure you'll make friends eventually! :)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry to say, anon, but there is a very slim chance that that will work. I didn't make any permanent friends offline in all my time at university, and the closest thing to friends I generally had in any of my classes were people I was working on projects with or regularly lab partners with, or in some of my small field courses there would be a few people who would talk to me regularly.

I don't blame anyone for this, obviously, I'm just terrible at reaching out offline and continuing to reach out in a way that cultivates sustained friendships. I worry about bothering people, but also if I really think about it, I'm also a pretty solitary person who doesn't really need a lot of friends.

However, if you ARE a person who really does want more friends, and not just someone who thinks you should have more because that's what 'normal' are supposed to do right? Then you are probably going to have to find a way to put yourself out there in a more active fashion. I would suggest seeing if your campus has any clubs or events that you'd be interested in. That way you'd be put in immediate contact with other people that you KNOW share at least this one interest with you, and you'd have a location where you could continue to meet them and potentially cultivate a friendship.

[angeltrap]

I wish you went to my college. (I created this account just to say this.)

[htebazytook]

me too! i'm always waiting for someone to notice my super geeky ringtone and cue bonding