[ SECRET POST #1994 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1994 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 092 secrets from Secret Submission Post #285.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - empty comments ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[natural_blue_26.livejournal.com]

Well, if your 'friend' cares more about hating a fandom then she does about what makes you happy OP, that should trigger about twenty different GTFO alarm bells in your head. If they seriously can't control harshing your squee, I'd suggest trying to make friends in your favorite fandoms instead.

[(Anonymous)]

So, if I have a fandom friend, and she gets into a new fandom that we don't share but then every time we talk she goes on and on about the new fandom way past the point where I'm staring listlessly into space and saying "uh-huh, yeah" like a robot, and I then snap and say something like, "Look, I just don't like that stupid movie, and I wish you would stop talking about it for five minutes," then I'm a bad friend who should be setting off GTFO alarms? Yeeeeeeaaaaah, no. Situations like this usually take two to tango, and it's so annoying to see people jumping to the OPs defense like she's some kind of victim.

[natural_blue_26.livejournal.com]

It sounds more like OP had been constantly snarked at than it was a isolated incident.

Other than that, the scroll button is your friend and you can be passively happy your friend is happy before moving past XYZ that they like. If it's on their journal/blog/tumblr and they're not physically spamming anything of you, why the heck do you even care?

Or there's always asking your friend/explaining to the them in the beginning you prefer not to hear about their new interest BEFORE you have a coronary anon.

[(Anonymous)]

The OP didn't make it clear what venue this was in. On LJ, yes absolutely people should scroll. What about in chat? Or in-person conversation? Or being spammed on twitter? The problem is that there are quite a few people in fandom who do either take being asked to not talk about something so much as a personal attack (see this secret) or completely ignore anything short of a clue-by-four.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, when you consider that most online friendships are formed around talking about a favorite series, or writing fic/drawing art for same, it's not quite as simple as that. If my pal starts posting New Fandom #1 24/7, I basically wind up scrolling past every single thing they say. Which sucks, because essentially it means we're no longer hanging out.

[intrigueing.livejournal.com]

Um, yes you are? What you're supposed to say is, clearly, neutrally, and firmly, that you honestly don't care about the movie or fandom at all and are totally not interested in talking about it. Maybe draw a comparison between the Avengers fandom and something she doesn't like, so she knows how you view it. And accusing her of jumping fandoms and calling her movie stupid is not cool. IRL, doing that would be fine, but for online fandom friends it's a hole 'nother can of worms.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not this OP's friends, but I used to have a local fandom friend who would go on and on (in person) about her current obsessions that I didn't share. I would listen for a while and then try to move the conversation on, but she was utterly implacable. She didn't respond to any kind of subtle signals, and when I asked to talk about other things she would do so for a minute and then go back to her current obsession. So, yes, I would snap on occasion because I am not a fucking saint. We're not friends anymore because she was an incredibly annoying human being, and I eventually had to tell her that we weren't going to hang out anymore.

[(Anonymous)]

Hey there, OP's friend!

[(Anonymous)]

Nope! Nice try though. I love Avengers, and it seems like everybody on my flist does as well so it's all good this time around.

[(Anonymous)]

While I don't completely agree with how the anon above said what they did...I have to admit, I kind of agree with them. No one should harsh someone else's squee...but the person doing the squeeing? They should respect it if the person listening doesn't enjoy listening to their squeeing about something they don't like.

[natural_blue_26.livejournal.com]

I get that - pretty much all based on whether there was any "Could you please not talk to me about this?" in the beginning or not. If it's on OP's own journal/whatever though, that's really not their friends place to blow up at them about posting/having fun IMO.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree, if it was on the OP's journal/tumblr/whatever then the friend was out of line, but...I just kind of got the feeling, from how the secret was phrased, that it was more conversations than it was 'You're posting stuff I don't like!' I'll grant you, it could be because there have been a few times I've had friends do exactly that [not hushing about a topic I'd said, more than once usually, that I do not wish to discuss], and I reacted...similar to OP's friend in that I ended up getting fairly snippy about it, since being polite just did *not* work.

tl;dr: I agree, I just took the secret as being about interactions than what was going on in a personal journal.