[ SECRET POST #1998 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1998 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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09.
[Peter Gabriel]


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]












10. [SPOILERS for the Hunger Games]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]













11. [WARNING for abuse]



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12. [WARNING for rape]

[Hetalia]


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13. [WARNING for abuse]



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14. [WARNING for gore, animal abuse]
http://i.imgur.com/SjfD3.jpg
[images of actual dead animals and stuff.]



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15. [WARNING for rape]

[Video Games Awesome Live]


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16. [WARNING for abuse]

[Avatar: the Last Airbender]


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17. [WARNING for rape]

[American Horror Story]


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18. [WARNING for dub-con, grooming, brainwashing]



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19. [WARNING FOR general discussion of triggery topics (there's bound to be triggering material in the comments)]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #285.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 (warning for rape) - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP, but when books like 50 Shades get heavy circulation, and the majority of women you meet interested in bdsm are into submissiveness, identifying as a domme does make you feel weird, or like the only one. From my experience anyways.

[stainless]

Yeah, I agree. Also there is a LOT of cultural baggage that says women's role is to be the submissive one. I don't even mean the heavy-duty religious stuff. Just the whole... stereotype that what women really want is to submit. I've had partners think that my telling them I'm a top means I want to fight and lose to them, because I'm the female. Needless to say I didn't stick around long, but even that that attitude exists is disheartening.

(Someone mentioned down below "When someone says "I can't picture [character X] ever willingly submitting to anyone" I think YOU HAVE NO IMAGINATION." This saddens me, because so many people have spent time trying to prove they're THE ONE SPECIAL DICK. Nope, my kink is what it is, and it does NOT include me forcibly confessing you're the one exception. It bugs me when people insist that EVERY CHARACTER IN EVERY FICTIONAL WORLD EVER has to switch.)

[(Anonymous)]

anon who made that comment and isn't up on all the acronyms: There is this preconceived notion in fandom that an assertive, badass character will always be the dominant one in the bedroom...even with characters whose sexual preferences are never mentioned in canon. These characters are dominant by default in porn, and when they aren't it's "ooo, kinky!"

And that is what I meant by you have no imagination. People just go along with these stereotyped notions, even though real life does not work like that. I'm not saying you have to, or even should, write everyone as a switch. But unless canon actually tells you "this character will never sub" then why can't people at least entertain the possibility that he might?

[(Anonymous)]

ETA: You are not a fictional character. Your identity is not up for debate, and anyone who tries is an ass. Fictional characters, on the other hand, are there for us to play with, and imagine any way we want.

[(Anonymous)]

But nobody is telling you to stop imagining that character that way. You might be able to see that character in a ship with a third character and someone else might not. That doesn't mean they're stopping you or whining about it.

[stainless]

Oh, I totally agree with you on that. :-) I don't have any problem with people writing a character who in my headcanon is strictly dominant or submissive the other way around. I might even like it! I just don't like it when people act like having one preference or the other is not okay. Especially when they justify it in ways that feel like they're implying that real people are all switchy/versatile. No, not everyone is.

I totally think there needs to be more fic (hell, more canon!) that defies stereotypes. I just don't like it when people make blanket statements like the one you made, because I have seen people straight up say things that are blanket statements and really erasing and not retract them when I've questioned that.

THAT bugs me both because a) there are real people in the world who are not switches at all and because b) a LOT of people out there try to get dominant women, at least, to switch, based on creepy preconceived notions. When you say there's something faulty in my imagination because I see so and so as non-switchy, it reminds me of all the people who've wanted to "prove" or "show" me that I must be a switch.

So write what you want! Of course! But please don't say others lack imagination, unless you're specifically saying that people who think you're wrong for having a different headcanon lack imagination.

Because they do. :-) Especially if their objections to your headcanon are based on stereotypes.

[(Anonymous)]

..."unless you're specifically saying that people who think you're wrong for having a different headcanon lack imagination."

That is exactly what I'm saying. I think we might be talking around each other because I'm only referring to fanfic, while other people are bringing real life into the discussion.

If you tell me "I don't sub" then you don't sub, end of discussion, but if someone tells me "Captain America doesn't sub" I say "says who?"

[stainless]

Eh, I see your point. But there are generally one or two characters in any fandom I'm in that I can't really see submitting (or dominating), and if you ask me why not, I will explain how I see them and why I don't see it. If you then get all up in my grill and tell me I'm unimaginative (rather than saying "I disagree" or "I love the fic that reverses that, but it's rare," or something like that), I will probably be annoyed.

Because every time I've had this conversation, people's rationale has been "People who are really take-charge in their ordinary life crave surrender in bed." And yes, that's true for some people. Many, actually.

But you know what? Just like people get tired of "tall masculine top and feminine, small bottom," I get tired of "Submissives are take-charge types!" People are people and people are all different, and the idea that people are the opposite of how they are in regular life in bed doesn't always make sense to me anyway. Some people hide aspects of their lives and only bring them out in secret, sure. But other people are pretty much themselves everywhere.

I don't mind at all when people go "I love it when people write fic where this person submits. It's hot." I might not get it, if that's one of the characters it just doesn't make sense with in my mind. And if it's the "Big Boss Type just wants to relax" trope, I might feel like it's a little stale. But none of that matters to me, really. It's just when people assume that because I said "You know, I don't see it, but your fic almost makes me believe it" I'm dissing them somehow that I get annoyed.

And that's how "You have no imagination" felt to me, but I realize you were being imprecise so I already feel kind of bad about harping on it. Now that I know you didn't mean it the way I took it I really feel like crap for that. I appreciate you listening to me, though.

(...and... people think Captain America doesn't sub? Buwha? I totally see it. He's adorable!)

[(Anonymous)]

And that's fair. You're at least willing to consider alternative interpretations. Many people are not.

Yes, the "big boss wants to relax" trope is rather common. It's because it's so common that I'm frankly surprised that many people in fandom seem to never have heard of it.

(I don't know about movieverse, but every comicverse fic I've read has Steve as the dominant one.)

[dazzledfirestar]

Especially when they justify it in ways that feel like they're implying that real people are all switchy/versatile. No, not everyone is.

Obviously this varies depending on your fandom and which circles you ride in, etc, etc... but I don't see a whole lot of switching when it comes to BDSM fic. Maybe I'm not reading the right stuff, but it seems that switching falls into the same category as being bi/pan with a lot of shippers. CHARACTER A IS THIS WAY AND THEY'D NEVER DEVIATE FROM -submitting/dominating/men/women/whatever- EVER!

Now obviously that's not right either. Saying everyone has to be one way or the other all the time, to time immemorium is at the least, silly. I agree that there are certain characters that do fall easily into one role or the other and whoo! Yay! :D Love it! I can think of a few right off the top of my head.

I had a point in here somewhere... lol Saying anyone is wrong for their preferences in consensual situations (both IRL and in fiction) is ridiculous. But I don't know that I'd want to see any more rigidity in fandom when it comes to "A tops all the time no matter what" attitudes.

Basically, I agree with you. Forgive the babbling. lol

[elaminator]

I don't know much about 50 Shades except that it doesn't interest me, but I didn't realize there were so few dommes around. To me it always seemed that they weren't as commonplace, but I never knew they were considered unusual or that the numbers weren't larger. Guess I assumed they just never got as much attention in the media, and I have no experience with the scene myself, so...

That sucks, though. D: You should never feel alone.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm personally not that involved with the scene myself, I was more referring to people you meet online/real-life and in fandom. Maybe there are more dommes out there!

[elaminator]

Ah, alright. It would be interesting to know if there were more dommes outside of fandom than in fandom. I just figured that the ratio (whatever the ratio is) would be the same.

[elialshadowpine]

Indeed. Or being like me -- I'm both a domme and sub depending on situation. I'm dominant with men, but submissive with women. I don't think I have actually ever heard anybody describe themselves like I do, so it's a little lonely sometimes.

[(Anonymous)]

Hello! Are you me?