[ SECRET POST #1998 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1998 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.
[Peter Gabriel]


__________________________________________________













[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]












10. [SPOILERS for the Hunger Games]



__________________________________________________













[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]













11. [WARNING for abuse]



__________________________________________________



12. [WARNING for rape]

[Hetalia]


__________________________________________________



13. [WARNING for abuse]



__________________________________________________



14. [WARNING for gore, animal abuse]
http://i.imgur.com/SjfD3.jpg
[images of actual dead animals and stuff.]



__________________________________________________



15. [WARNING for rape]

[Video Games Awesome Live]


__________________________________________________



16. [WARNING for abuse]

[Avatar: the Last Airbender]


__________________________________________________



17. [WARNING for rape]

[American Horror Story]


__________________________________________________



18. [WARNING for dub-con, grooming, brainwashing]



__________________________________________________



19. [WARNING FOR general discussion of triggery topics (there's bound to be triggering material in the comments)]


__________________________________________________








Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #285.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 (warning for rape) - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[elaminator]

Bit confused by this secret...do you not tell your friends of this and it makes things awkward for you, or do they know and you just feel left out in general? Looking at the responses to this secret alone, there are people who feel the same way as you do, so I'm sure you could find like-minded friends. And IDK if you're interested in writing about it or not, but again, if you want to, you should. There's bound to be people who would love to read it.

In fandom you're basically never alone in your opinion, so while it might not be the majority, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist!

[(Anonymous)]

well if you look at the same person and the mass consensus seems to be ohemgee what a fine hot strapping young man I want dominating me, and you see somebody who you'd like to see tied up and begging or w/e, yes it's awkward because the way you view the same person is so drastically different

it can also make you sound rapey even if you don't mean it that way at all

[stainless]

it can also make you sound rapey even if you don't mean it that way at all

Yeah, that.

[(Anonymous)]

haha i have a guy friend in fandom who's dom and he says nothing about anyone he's attracted to atall for fear of sounding like a rapey creeper. its either that or marking clearly in every casual mention to say only if its consensual consent assumed consent consent not a rapist!!!

[elaminator]

I honestly don't see how that would sound rapey at all. Obviously everyone is different so I'm sure someone would, but yea, I would assume that was your personal fantasy and that you'd want it to be consensual.

[(Anonymous)]

You're very much in the minority with this. I wish more people would see it this way!

[(Anonymous)]

im glad you don't. but if somebody says they'd like to bend someone over the table and fuck them until they cry a lot of people would automatically assume "this person is a rapist omg" and not "this is a fantasy and consent is assumed"

[tabaqui]

it can also make you sound rapey even if you don't mean it that way at all

I find this statement, and the fact that a lot of people agreed with you/said that they found that attitude in fandom a lot to be *extremely* creepy and rather horrifying.

[stainless]

I'm not the OP, but for me personally it's just that the lion's share of people's reactions are from the submissive side of things. That's not bad, but sometimes it's left me wondering if anyone quite groks where I'm coming from.

I don't know about OP, but for me it's not like OH MY GOD FANDOM SUCKS I AM FOREVER MISUNDERSTOOD BEHOLD MY WEEPINGS OF SADNESS AND WOE AND MELANCHOLY or something. It's more just "do people get me?" I imagine people who like things that are less common -- or even just that people talk about less -- sometimes feel the same.

[elaminator]

I imagine people who like things that are less common -- or even just that people talk about less -- sometimes feel the same.

Yea, I do understand how you might feel that way. I'm not saying there's isn't an imbalance because there certainly is (no two ways about it), but I'm sure there are plenty of people who get you too, even if it might be harder to find them. D:

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP, but when books like 50 Shades get heavy circulation, and the majority of women you meet interested in bdsm are into submissiveness, identifying as a domme does make you feel weird, or like the only one. From my experience anyways.

[stainless]

Yeah, I agree. Also there is a LOT of cultural baggage that says women's role is to be the submissive one. I don't even mean the heavy-duty religious stuff. Just the whole... stereotype that what women really want is to submit. I've had partners think that my telling them I'm a top means I want to fight and lose to them, because I'm the female. Needless to say I didn't stick around long, but even that that attitude exists is disheartening.

(Someone mentioned down below "When someone says "I can't picture [character X] ever willingly submitting to anyone" I think YOU HAVE NO IMAGINATION." This saddens me, because so many people have spent time trying to prove they're THE ONE SPECIAL DICK. Nope, my kink is what it is, and it does NOT include me forcibly confessing you're the one exception. It bugs me when people insist that EVERY CHARACTER IN EVERY FICTIONAL WORLD EVER has to switch.)

[elaminator]

I don't know much about 50 Shades except that it doesn't interest me, but I didn't realize there were so few dommes around. To me it always seemed that they weren't as commonplace, but I never knew they were considered unusual or that the numbers weren't larger. Guess I assumed they just never got as much attention in the media, and I have no experience with the scene myself, so...

That sucks, though. D: You should never feel alone.

[elialshadowpine]

Indeed. Or being like me -- I'm both a domme and sub depending on situation. I'm dominant with men, but submissive with women. I don't think I have actually ever heard anybody describe themselves like I do, so it's a little lonely sometimes.

[fanaberia]

Women dominating their male partners is seen as odd. It's "commonly accepted" (just look at some articles about "women's fantasies") that all women want to be secretly dominated. Men being willingly submissive are seen as emasculated and not hot and worty of general female attention. Just my general media observation. My friends in RL are of similar mind I'm afraid.

[elaminator]

Women dominating their male partners is seen as odd.

I don't understand that. I guess when you mention it, it does seem like the general media tend to put most women into a 'need to be dominated' mindset, but...that just doesn't ring true to me, because people are too different to generalize them like that. (Don't doubt people do it, mind you, just don't get WHY they do.)

And I never realized dommes were seen as odd or that there weren't more of them. Then again I've never had experience in such things so I always assumed there were more people into it than I ever would know of, and that there were plenty of people of all types no matter the gender.

[teh_sandwich]

Men being willingly submissive are seen as emasculated and not hot and worty of general female attention.

I really wish this stereotype didn't exist because 1)I think it takes a lot of courage for men to admit they want to be dommed. (Especially wanting to be dommed by women) But no, men must be masculine and in control at all times!!!

and 2) both my boyfriend and I find it incredibly hot when I domme the shit out of him (especially since he's twice my size!) :P

[philstar22]

This so much. There is a perception that a common male fantasy is being seduced by a woman with her initiating. But he always ends up being in control in that particular scenario. Full-on woman in charge and man as submissive is not commonly accepted at all.

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP, but there's a general idea that women are rarely dominant (which may be reflected in actual life, I haven't a clue), and the sub in slash relationships is usually a stand-in for women readers. So female doms often feel pressure because they're not subs, and they identify with dom characters in slash fics.

So the whole issue is that female doms are the minority in most fandoms and so are considered weird or feel pressure to keep quiet about their interests. Woobiefication hurts and helps the issue, since the woobiefication is typically to make the woobie a better stand-in for the submissive reader and may or may not create an attractive character for the dom.

I'm not sure that made any sense. *blows hair out of face* I've gotten lucky in that most of my fandom friends find my proclivities amusing, but I still keep a lot of my opinions and interests quiet out of habit.

[(Anonymous)]

women get 'wut lol are you epic butch if you're dom you must be manly' and men get 'omg rapist'

[thene]

'and the sub in slash relationships is usually a stand-in for women readers'

Uh, wat. I'm not a domme but that is so ridic a generalisation I don't even.

[elaminator]

Okay so I have a headache and will probably step away from the computer for a while, but and the sub in slash relationships is usually a stand-in for women readers. generalizations are not cool. What people, omg.

[(Anonymous)]

..Ew. Not all of us slashers use slash as a "stand-in" you know. I don't know anyone who does.

[elialshadowpine]

It does. I'm very dominant myself in most things, though I'm very submissive with women, in bed. I really fucking hate the whole "oh women are naturally submissive", because, you know, sure, I have submission fantasies and the like, but that DOESN'T mean they apply to you, "Sir" Domly Dom the Eleventy-billionth, and no, I DON'T want to be your fucking slave. (Although this applies more to the kink community than the fandom community, where I regularly delete messages from Domly Doms who think that even women who say "sorry, not interested in men" just NEED a man to show them their TRUE submissive ways.)