fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2008 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2008 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #287.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Feeling sad at around 16 (this is the age you mentioned, right?) is normal sometimes. It really changes from person from person, but it's not uncommon for teenagers to go through periods where they feel sad for apparently no reason. I've read that it's part of the "hormones changing" thing.

However, I do recommend that you keep an eye on this. If the sadness doesn't go away, you might be dealing with actual depression, which can be caused by anything ranging from not having enough of certain nutrients (like, Lithium, for example. Have a shortage of that, and depression happens. Eat dates [the fruit], if you're not allergic to counter that), to a chemical imbalance in your brain, to an actual tragedy, to I-don't-even-know-what-else.

As for the "not wanting to act like an obnoxious teenager" part; the fact that you're conscious of your own behavior is already a good sign.

In general, things that people find annoying is the "I know what's best for everyone" attitude that people above mentioned; the "I've got life figured out" attitude, acting as if you're better or superior than everyone else (this one is actually very hard to spot on yourself), anything that reeks of arrogance or thinking of yourself as the only person that matters.

If you often (mostly) talk about any topic in relation to how it is affecting you and your life, that's the kind of thing that people find annoying.

Mostly watch out for that; it's hard not to view the world around you in terms of how it affects you because, you know, survival instincts; and also cooping up your emotions and never sharing your worries can be unhealthy, but mostly watch out for who you are venting to.

It's probably best to focus those rants on your friends, who are presumably around your age? and who won't think badly of you for being like that, and avoid ranting at older people or where older people will hear you, who will most likely be all "oh, you're just a teenager, you don't know anything about the world yet...".

TL;DR: It's impossible to please everyone. Your body is kind of acting against you at this age where it comes to self-awareness and self-restraint. Just be aware of where and to whom you're ranting or complaining or sharing advice and opinions and you'll be fine. Experience will come to you the more you actually go and see of the world. Date people you like. Learn about romance. But only if that's what you want. Don't feel like you have or don't have to.

Also, I feel awkward saying this, but if you have sex, use a condom! And go slowly. Take your time with foreplay and so on. And don't be in a hurry to have sex if you don't want to and oh god what am I your local TV show after-school special or what :V

haha thank you for this comment, it was really helpful.
ranting to my friends is a lot more enjoyable because they usually get where I'm coming from, but then I feel guilty, like I'm hiding something from adults who think I'm a good person. Idk, I just feel guilty about 90% of the time about almost everything. My friends have yelled at me for saying "sorry" too much, and then I feel like I have to apologize for that.

You sound a lot like me. I have a tendency to really overthink things as well. It's not really hiding things, different relationships and social situations require different behavior and you don't need to feel guilty about being mindful of how to behave in different settings.

You're not a bad person for venting! Just be mindful about who you say things to. :) I'm pretty sure you are a good person, the fact that you care so much about who you are and how people perceive you attests to that!

Anonymouslyyours has it right.

I felt the same way when I realized how I was censoring some of my thoughts depending on who I was with, but it's really not a bad thing nor does it make you a deceitful person. If anything, it makes you self-aware and mindful of your social environment, and this is a good thing. You're less likely to accidentally insult or hurt someone this way.

The only thing I can think of to watch out for here is the rumor-mill. For example, if you tell your friend something less than flattering about X person or X group of people — I don't know, let's say that you have a strange hatred of teachers—, and the friend tells a friend who tells a tattletale with the teacher you were talking about, who decides to take a little revenge for your comments on your grade.

But really, those are more extreme cases, and while they're definitely a thing to consider when choosing your words and company, they're something that you aren't very likely to run into, from the sound of your posts. You seem like a fairly self-conscious person and it doesn't sound like you're spiteful or mean with your words, so I wouldn't worry to much about it. Just something to keep in mind, but not obsess over it.

And, um, I kind of forgot where I was going with this.

But anyway! You're not a bad person for behaving and saying things a little differently around different groups of people, or for holding back certain things around some people and not others. I've been like that and I know how it feels, but I found that the solution (not just in real life but also on the internet) is to try to be diplomatic and do my best to choice my words carefully to avoid demeaning or insulting people. It still fails, but I'm learning from each experience.

And thinking through what you want to say or type at length has the added benefit of making you reevaluate your ideas, morals and values, so you can find if there's something lurking in your subconscious that you don't like and work on correcting that.

Eat dates [the fruit]

Lol, I just had to picture the anon confusedly gnawing on her boyfriend because of your advice if you hadn't specified the fruit.

I know, right? I thought it proper to specify considering the context. I know that if I was another person and I read that, I would first read "dates" as people before considering the fruit.

[ SECRET POST #2008 ]

Re: Same Anon

Same Anon

Re: Same Anon

anon you replied to

Re: Same Anon

ayrt