[ SECRET POST #2008 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2008 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #287.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[oroburos69]

Fellow ADHD-er! And yes. Same problem. Practice has made me a lot better at it though--mostly being able to cope with failing in social situations, which I'm 90% certain is almost always in my head. I just got obsessive over the idea of what others must be thinking of me, and forgot that no one cares about a 5 second conversation.

If it helps--it helped me, anyway--figure out your own impressions of people, then judge your own actions against that standard. I ALWAYS assumed that the other people were studying me and taking notes on my every hesitation and mix-up, and adding it to this mental record book of fail, but honestly? I don't do that to other people. And if they do it to me, that's kinda weird on their part, and not my fault.

...yeah, hope that helps.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, I just started to realize that too. Like you, I was constantly vigilant, thinking people were judging me and whispering behind my back about what a weirdo social failure I am. It didn't help that I have an extremely anal, criticizing sister who never fails to point my social missteps. But finally I have decided to let it go and take it easy. If they judge me so be it. Instead of trying to act out the emotions and mimic what they do I'd just show a mild vague thing and they can read it as whatever they want: sorrow, happiness, excitement. I just pretend I'm a subtle person and maybe it'd be enough.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been like this for most of my life, too. I've only recently started to care less and less what people think. I'll just do my best to be polite and nice, and if I fail, I fail. I'll just try again the next day.

[anonymouslyyours]

and if I fail, I fail. I'll just try again the next day.

I know this sounds like a really simple concept to grasp but I only started really acting on it recently and O. M. G. the difference it makes in how I feel about myself!

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

ikr?! It's a very recent thing to me too, even when it's just so obvious in hindsight.

I used to obsess over social gaffes for weeks, months, years after the fact. The stress even gave me premature gray hairs (which do recover their natural color if I spent enough time relaxed and avoiding stress, phew!) and made my hair fall out (it thankfully grows back quickly enough, so no balding or anything), and that's when I stopped myself and realized that something had to change or my health would only get worse.

And I do have my bad days with "oh god i screwed everything up i'll never succeed my friends will leave me what do i do i messed up for good this time oh no" irrational thoughts, but they're less frequent and last less because now I have more strength to tell those thoughts to shut up and disappear. And they do. And life seems less and less impossible every day. C:

Re: ayrt

[anonymouslyyours]

There was nothing more freeing than when I suddenly realized I wasn't actually all that big a deal and nobody was sitting at home remembering that stupid thing I said five years ago.