fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2035 ]

[ SECRET POST #2035 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2035 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Anon Meme below!

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 110 secrets from Secret Submission Post #291.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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07. http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/1040/fs1u.png

I was just thinking about joining this site the other day. I admit though, I'm a little intimidated.

What's with the fetish for authenticity?

Behaving nicely even when you don't necessarily feel that way is, like, the baseline for being a decent human being. Who cares if you're not being "authentic"? Being civil and polite is a hell of a lot better than polluting the social atmosphere by projecting every last emotional twinge at full volume.

Also, if you're providing thoughtful criticism, presented diplomatically and tactfully out of consideration for the author's sensibilities, solely because you want to help improve the writing of random strangers that you've never met? Sorry, that makes you a nice person. Like, hardcore nice.

What you do matters a whole lot more to the world than how you feel. Have you considered the possibility that "cold-hearted bitch" might be just as much a persona you put on for yourself?

If you're still worried about authenticity, I'd say who you really are is somebody with a good side and a bad side (just like everyone else in the world) who's got the good sense to share the good and keep the bad private. That's awesome. Own that.

This is a good comment.

MTE (only said articulately as opposed to the frustrated squealing my brain was giving me.)

"Holden Caulfield was a douche"

But a lot of people with mental illness are "douches", I mean his misanthropy obviously stemmed from depression. It's hard for people with certain mental illnesses to "behave nicely" even if they try hard. I guess people don't realize that about the character or don't care, but then again people don't give a shit about the mentally ill either so I'm not surprised.

True; however, this does not negate the original statement that behaving nicely makes human civilization go 'round. Having certain mental or emotional conditions makes it difficult or impossible to do the dance, and that's terrible. Illnesses have symptoms.

I think what I'm saying is: one's misanthropy being a symptom and not a choice doesn't make it any more desirable.

I agree with both this comment and the one it's replying too so I'm confused.

I've got depression. I often want to treat people like crap. I have in the past taken out my frustrations on the ones who are the most patient and caring for me. And that was a douche move. :-/

'cause having a mental illness like depression doesn't mean literally having no control over your actions so it certainly doesn't give people like Holden Caulfield a free pass to act however they choose. It just makes them more sympathetic.

TL;DR: the feelings (or lack of feelings) may be out of one's control, but one's actions aren't.

Re: Holden Caulfield was a douche

childings.livejournal.com - 2012-07-30 02:26 (UTC) - Expand

DA

(Anonymous) - 2012-07-30 08:08 (UTC) - Expand

This. I don't know when 'being nice' became something you should try to avoid. How is balancing positive and negative points in your feedback of someone's work something you should not be doing?

Thank you for this lovely comment. It helped clear up a lot of the muddled feelings I have about my reviews and the part about my persona particularly hit home more truthfully than I'd previously realized.

Although I get a lot of pleasure from being able to improve other people's writing, I suppose some pleasure comes from relaxing and feeling like a nice person, too. I tend to undermine my own abilities and I should try harder to stop doing that, I think.

So thanks again. This was exactly what I needed to hear.

You're welcome. I'm glad it was helpful. :)

-OA

What's with the fetish for authenticity?

I think -and this is only a guess, I'm not a psychologist- that this has something to do with the "BE YOURSELF" "BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND YOU'LL SUCCEED" "DON'T BE A FAKE OKAY" advice/moral that was pushed so hard during the 80s, 90s and 00s, in both media and in real life. I don't know if originated in the United States (I don't live there), but I can tell you, as someone who inhaled shows and cartoons from the USA growing up, that this was one of the core fundamentals (tenets?) in the shows and films pushed at children and young teenagers.

The OP did have a point saying that this is a spoiled generation — we really are. D:

I post stuff on figment sometimes, and it's very easy to get reviews that are constructive and helpful, so as far as that goes, it's a good place.
I don't go on that much though, because it seems like most of the writing there is pretty teenybopperish, which I am in no position to complain about or anything, I'm hardly Shakespeare. But could you possibly recommend some authors?
The site is just very cute and fun. It's like Picnik for authors- it's teenybopperish and not incredibly respectable but it's so cute.

It is pretty teenybopperish, I agree. Sometimes the YA fiction, trends, and first person POV gets tiring for me and I have to retreat to the rare souls who share my preferences of science fiction/fantasy and third person limited. But then I again, I went through a stage just like theirs when I was their ages, so I can advise them somewhat.

But now I've gotten sidetracked from what I really meant to say. I do have a list of authors I recommend, though it's smaller than I'd like. (The best ones tend to be the quiet ones, so it's only with luck and chance that I've found them.)

The list (along with what makes them good) is as follows:

- Grace F (User number: 201755 Sadly, she seems to have removed much of her writing at the moment, but she writes often and well, and knows how to communicate pretty visuals to her visuals. She's also a wonderful conversant.)
- Kimberly Karalius (User number: 414 I love her descriptions and her originality, as well as the way she makes each of her characters distinct from one another. She also understands that human morality is so much more complicated than black and white, an understanding I don't see often enough in young writers.)
- TheArchitect (User number: 34933 To be honest, it's because I could read her poetry for hours and never get bored.)
- Artemis Moonsong (User number: 47057 She has a great style and intrinsically understands how writing works. I don't see her very often now, but she used to hang out on The Writing Life forum a lot and give many amateurs very useful advice. She tells good stories and deserves a lot more praise than she receives.)
- B. D. Legan (User number: 16827 She's a very talented teenager and experiments in a lot of different genres, enough that I've lost count. She's appreciative of her readers and, unlike other popular figs, isn't pushy for reads. If she ever decides to pursue writing professionally, I think she'll definitely succeed.)
- O. Ouellette (User number: 51593 I love her style, her sophistication, and her gift for creepiness where it matters. Though I don't usually like reading stories with disturbing elements, she writes it well enough that I enjoy it.)
- Beanie Bratton (User number: 48727 Perhaps it's because this writer shares so many interests with me, but I like the writing style, the storytelling, and the humor. Bratton also has a wonderful gift for descriptions.)
- AnQi Yu (User number: 96332 Her writing ranges across a wide spectrum of genres, yet always manages to interest me, no matter what. She's also great with character voices and accents.)
- Sara Kellar (User number: 65420 If she had a copy editor on hand all the time, I think her writing would be almost too good for someone her age. She tells great, gripping stories that read much like the writing of people several decades her senior. And I think she does it just naturally, too, which is even more amazing.)
- Hannah Wright (User number: 87706 Her short stories are amusing, thoughtful, and ultimately satisfying to read. I love the way she builds her characters and knows exactly the right way to tell a short story.)

Just read the T&C, and it's another site that doesn't allow "sexually explicit" writing.

Can anyone recommend some legitimate writing/sharing sites that don't have limits on sexually explicit stories? I mean, I love plot, but my stories often do contain sex as well, and I don't want to have to butcher my stories in order to share them.

+1

I don't write what I consider explicit sex, but it would be nice to not have to censor myself, and I've been looking for a site like that for a while.

Yeah, I know about that rule, too. But so far as I've noticed, a lot of pretty explicit things have been getting across the radar, regardless of the rules. However, as the site grows and becomes larger and more famous, I suppose things might change. It's already started, in some respects.

I don't know what to say about other websites, since I don't know many, but I've heard FictionPress and Wattpad are good starting points.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2012-07-30 01:35 (UTC) - Expand

OP

(Anonymous) - 2012-07-30 01:52 (UTC) - Expand

I was on the site for a few months, but I never found it very appealing. Most of the time, people came from the Recently Updated portion of the site, wrote some vague comment about the first chapter of my story ("Your story's sooooo good! Update more often!"), and implicitly demanded that I Hearted their works. I visited the forums and disliked that people literally had threads not for reviews but to exchange the Facebook equivalent of Likes. Most writers there, it seems, are under 16, and I can understand that they do have a heightened need for validation, but I thought that it went too far. (And I'm surprised that artists haven't become pissed about art thieves there who use uncredited pictures for covers.)

That said, the site is very clean and easy to use.

But to the topic at hand, you're an incredibly nice person. As an amateur writer myself, I understand the importance of cheerleaders, and I think that your fluffy reviews - as long as they contain some critique, no matter how cushioned - will help some writers to flourish.

Thank you! I'm sorry that your experience on the site wasn't all that enjoyable — to be honest, I've been lucky enough to avoid most of that, except for the spamming. Perhaps it's because I keep to myself most of the time, except for my reviews. The Self Promotion forum is just as tasteless to me as it is to you and I don't like the art thievery problem, either, though I think it will take direct and forceful actions on the part of the administrators to change anything. Though the General/Random forum is the place I most often visit, the energy there can be tiring, sometimes enough that I forget myself and say something that I probably shouldn't to a group of precocious, elitist teenagers with validation issues.

But to be honest, it's the best website out there for me at the moment. I'm still on the lookout for a website with more maturity, like Inkpop, but I don't mind staying on Figment for a while. It reminds me to work on my own writing, at least. I think like a much more experienced writer, but I still write like an amateur in many ways, so I should probably stick to my own kind for now.

By being a "nicer" reviewer and giving a measured response, rather than raging, I think you're doing a great thing.

People respond a lot better to constructive criticism when it's delivered along with positive feedback. Then, they're more likely to actually listen to advice and improve their work.

Whereas just saying: "You suck and this, this, and this were terrible," will just make them defensive.

figment
write yourself in

I am a fan of this website. It's a good place to find high-quality writing (It exists, I swear!) and get a lot of helpful feedback on your work because it's so active. I've presented myself as a nice, enthusiastic person who writes well, keeps up to date on the people I follow, and gives generous reviews that balance praise with critique.

The secret? If I was more authentic in my reviews, people would probably think I was a coldhearted bitch. I put on this persona because I believe it is the only way to convince these (often spoiled) kids to improve their writing. Sure, my critiques may be somewhat softened, but I think of it as preparing them for the professional critiques in the future. They get a taste of what the pros will say and if they can handle it maturely then maybe they might succeed in the future.

tldr: I am unauthentic on Figment because I think it's the only way to motivate this 'entitled' generation to put real effort into what they write. You might think it's pointless, but it really works.

/transcript

This seems like a good method, and I'm glad to hear that it works. Don't feel unauthentic; there is something to be said about tact!

That said, you probably write very well, but couldn't you have summarized this some more?

It was very hard to read this secret with this font and this size.

sa

I meant no offense, really; you are an incredibly patient and good person. Hats off to you.

OP

(Anonymous) - 2012-07-30 03:02 (UTC) - Expand

So, you say what you mean, in mild enough words that people will listen instead of taking offense.

That's not being 'inauthentic,' that's having manners. I don't see why you have a problem with this.

O...kay? Saying what you think while having tact, and mixing in positive feedback is actually a really good way to go about giving advice. If you just go in with guns full of harsh crit blazing people are far more likely to get defensive and ignore what you say - and you'd probably end up doing more 'harm' than good.

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[ SECRET POST #2035 ]

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Holden Caulfield was a douche

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