Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-08-22 06:30 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-08-22 06:30 pm
[ SECRET POST #2059 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2059 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #294.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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I don't see this argument come up much when the friendship is between a man and a woman, either.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-22 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
People assumed I was dating my friend all the time. It didn't gross us out and it wasn't the bothersome aspect of their teasing. It was all the rest.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-23 01:06 am (UTC)(link)For fandom pairings, I think I remember someone saying they hoped they never made Clint/Natasha canon, because they preferred them as platonic BFFs. This is not recent, but I understand there was some vehement opposition to romantic Mulder/Scully. Unfortunately, people are more likely to be ranting at the source creators, as far, far too many of the close male/female friendships on the screen actually turn into a romance in the source material. The fans don't have to make it up, it's thrown at them.
For real live people pairings, you can rant for three hours about how you wish people would stop assuming you're screwing your opposite-sex BFF, and no one will conclude you are anti-het. It's not a secret. If you want to rant about how you wish everyone would stop assuming you're screwing your same-sex BFF, you had better do it very carefully, or it will come off as anti-same-sex. People who want to express their frustration without being careful might choose to present it anonymously.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-27 07:33 pm (UTC)(link)See, you're both cis, of opposite sexes and - as I assume - both hetero or bi.
That means you can make babies together and that means you will sooner or later be lovers. You can't fight heteronormativity (yet) and that sucks ass.
I'm having the same issues but slightly reversed.
Nobody believes my girlfriend and me are a couple until we'd be seen making out (something we're not doing in public because of homophobia and that sort of shit).
So wherever we go people just assume we're besties. Even if we tell them we're together, some guys just won't fuck off.
One time this one guy followed my girlfriend around on campus and hit on her constantly.
Even when he saw us exchanging a little kiss or holding hands he'd assume we were straight because a lot of straight girls do that to each other nowadays (and that's okay), but it seriously pissed us off.
Had my girl been with a dude he'd been all "oh, sorry, man! Didn't know she was with you".
Somehow people always want "proof" that we are legit in love with each other (most of the time by watching us having sex... which is another disgusting and objectifying thing we have to deal with in this "lesbians are truly straight hookers who'll let you watch and join if you just offer enough money or beg hard enough" society)
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I went to school where homophobes weren't shat on unless it was during a "special episode" assembly. I went out of my way to tell a classmate that they couldn't just shove a relationship on a friend and me, much less joke about it.
eta: ftr, I was picked on for being queer. Never to my face, but whispered slurs and implying I should change in the bathroom away from all the other girls still sucks ass. No reason a friend should go through the rumour mill of dumbassery too.
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And no, I understand that. Wanting to protect yourself and your friends. But being grossed out at people assuming you're dating your same-sex friend goes a bit too much with homophobia for me and that's why these secrets bother me so much
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That being said, no it's not a big inconvenience or anything, you just make a face and move on.
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