fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2086 ]

[ SECRET POST #2086 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2086 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #298.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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16. http://i50.tinypic.com/2la7i92.jpg

"I've tolerated and watched some horrible shows just so I could talk to them about fandom"

those people aren't your friends if you have nothing but fandom in common. it's okay not to share your friends' interests. you're not doing yourself or them a favor by sitting through shows you hate then feigning enthusiasm at them. find other people?

Nothing to do with the secret but I love that photo, Kitteh doesn't wanna go!

DA

That kitty is how I feel about work every morning. XD

This stinks of entitlement. It's like the friend version of the Nice Guy. Baaaaw I agree to watch things friends rec to me but then they don't watch what I rec! Isn't friendship supposed to be about direct trading of time and energy regardless of interest? I watched your show even though I hated it so you owe me fic! I want repayment!

Yeah sorry it doesn't work like that. I'm not interested in animu. If I ask for recs and you rec me an anime I'm probably not going to watch it. If everybody I know is suddenly into it then maybe I'll give it a shot because it must have done something right to have mass appeal even for other people who don't usually like anime, but if it's just an anime fan friend who is predisposed to those types of shows reccing it to me, no deal. They know I'm not interested in those shows anyway.

Then if I rec them some "horrible" tv show they hate? Amazingly enough they say no thanks, no interest!

I wrote you that kink meme fic you requested.

NOW YOU HAVE TO FILL ONE OF MINE OR WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANY MORE.

No you still owe me for that time I modded a roleplay with you hating in the whole time instead of saying no! Then when I asked you to help mod this other roleplay you hated, you said no. Bitch.

This pic makes me sad. Poor cat :-(

I used to have a friend that would almost never try out stuff I recommended to him, even though I tried quite a few of his stuff. Our friendship eventually fell apart because we'd just hit the point that we didn't have anything in common and barely trusted each other anymore.

However, I think I overreacted over him not liking the same things I did, which probably caused some of the problems. There's a lot of things I want to try these days but I don't get around to because I go through series and games very slowly. So it's possible that your friends just need pushes from several sources before something gets bumped up their priority list. (That does NOT mean that you should constantly spam them with the same recs over and over though! I have a friend who does this and it drives me nuuuuuuuuuts.)

lol that poor cat. I like how frayed the leash is, as if the cat has frequently clawed and bitten at it

I don't have anything to say about your secret, but ... poor kitty!

LEAVE THE KITTY ALONE!

Um so when friends rec you a show, you watch it as a favor to them instead of watching it because you think the show might be good?

Do they *know* you're watching it solely as a favor to them?

When I rec a show and someone watches it, it's always "watch this if you think you might like it" not "please do me a favor by watching this." If someone struggled through some show just for my sake I'd be way surprised and confused. It's a reccommendation, not a request.

World's Heaviest Harness! OHman I have to go find that site again now.

About your reccing issues: it may not be you, it may just be the way you phrase your recommendations? I know I always have way too many things on my to-read/watch/whatever list, and what makes me finally get into something is pretty indefinable - but it's almost never 'a friend is interested in it', because unless I know them well enough to know I can be completely honest without drama, that just leads to awkward attempts at saying nice things about something I could care less about or didn't even manage to get through. (even if all my Sherlock-loving friends claim my constant yelling profanity and throwing things at the screen when they bribe me to make me watch it is more entertaining than annoying.)

If you think they really would like your favorites, try to figure out what will make that particular person go 'ooh! must have!' at that particular moment, and then lean on that particular aspect very heavily, whether it's a clever plot point or lots of good fanfic or a picspam of an actor who fits their type. Or, hell, try bribes and bargaining! It worked with me and Sherlock. When I was little my sister would shut me in a room with only one book until I finally read it and could squee about it with her. Just don't expect them to watch it just because you like it - if that was how it worked for them, they'd be watching it already just from you talking about it.

"I can't go out wearing this! The cat across the street might see me!"

B'AWWWWWWWWWW I LOVE T3H CARPET SO MUCH I NO WANNA LEAVE

Does your friends know you don't like the shows you watched? Maybe they were looking for shows with a slightly different premise? If they don't want to watch your shows, you can't really make them. :\

...OP, I'm sorry but well...You really do come off pretty entitled and 'nice guy'-ish. People don't rec things because they want someone to do them a 'favor' by watching it - they do it because they enjoy it and they think the person they're recing it too will as well. If you don't want to watch it, don't watch it...but don't expect your friends to watch it either.

I'm not getting that off this post at all. OP's complaint really isn't that they don't read or play the stuff OP recs--because eventually they do, and apparently enjoy it--but they only read/play it after someone else has rec'd it too. I can see how that might come off as implying they don't trust OP's judgment enough to read something just on OP's suggestion; not until someone else has rec'd it too do they deign to check it out.

DA

So you jump to watch every new series that each friend recs you because you trust their taste implicitly? Even if they're the only ones reccing it?

Yeah no, it doesn't work like that for most people. If you get a bunch of people saying some show is awesome that is a lot more effective than one person because the show obviously appeals to a wider range of people you know rather than one person who gets butthurt you won't watch their shows.

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Awwwwww, poor kitty! :(

Stop watching shows that are painful to sit through. It's only going to make you bitter. Wait for a mutual interest to come along. If you can't find one, and there's nothing else holding you together, it's probably time to take a break or end it.

You might want to follow up on your recs. Ask if they've seen it yet, and if not, ask why. If they're not interested, drop it. But sometimes, things just need a bit of a push: maybe a certain character you know your friend will love, the right sense of humor, etc.,

I love how the cat is just like "fuck it...just fuck it all". Which is what I think you should do, OP. Stop following the leash so eagerly (watching recs you don't like). I doubt your friends want to pull you along that badly.

I actually know what you mean, OP! Some of my now-former friends did the same thing to me. I would watch or read things they wanted me to watch/read, which, even if I wound up liking them- and I frequently did!- was difficult for me, because getting into something new is harder for me to do the more pressure there is on me to do it. But when I wanted them to watch/read something I liked, even when it was something I was sure they'd also like, it was like pulling teeth getting them to check it out.

It wasn't that I felt entitled to them checking out my stuff, or that I was only sitting through the stuff they liked so they'd look at the stuff I liked. Or even that all we had in common was fandom. It just hurt that they didn't seem to take my opinions and recommendations seriously, and I'm sorry you're in the same boat. Can you maybe talk to your friends about it?

I actually agree with the first half of your secret, OP. The same thing happens to me.

This one friend I have will act like the shows I recommend are rubbish, until a sexist co-worker or a short-lived love interest also thinks it to be good.

Granted I don't watch shows just to please the guy, and we talk about other things besides fandom, but still.

I'm sorry, OP. I can sort of relate to your situation. I once recommended a manga to one of my (internet) friends and she said she would "look into it" for years, but never really did. Then she became interested in cosplay and made friends with people at a convention who were cosplaying as characters from that manga. She suddenly started reading it. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy she finally gave it a shot, because it's one of my favourite series ever, but now I wonder if she would have ever started it, had she not become friends with these cosplayers. She always recommends some stuff to me, too, and I watch/read them so we can talk about fandom. I haven't recommended new stuff to her in a while, though, because I'm afraid she won't even look it up.

On another note... poor kitty! :( That picture + the secret made me sad a bit.

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