[ SECRET POST #2096 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2096 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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03.


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04. http://i.imgur.com/KENos.png
[True Blood; sort of porny, illustrated ... choking and spanking or something?]


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05.
[Koi Kaze; Freefall]


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06.
[Suits]


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07.
[A Song of Ice and Fire]


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08.


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09.


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10.


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]











11. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]



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12. [SPOILERS for A Song of Ice and Fire]



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13. [SPOILERS for the Stand]



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14. [SPOILERS for Teen Wolf]



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15. [SPOILERS for Shin Megami Tensei IV]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]













16. [WARNING for self-harm]

[bogglelovesyou@tumblr]


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17. [WARNING for attempted suicide and depression]

[The Walking Dead]


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18. [WARNING for suicide]















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #299.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[(Anonymous)]

Today in social psychology class the teacher said that describing ourselves in terms of what we do and what we have was a sign of capitalism and ultimately wrong. I mean, I got what she said, putting as an example that if you define yourself because you have good grades and fail your "self" will be taking a blow and such.

But then I kept thing, if we can't define ourselves by what we do (I study X thing at X College, I work at X place, I play X sport, etc.) or by what we have (I have a husband, I have a house in X place, whatver), then what would be left?

Somehow it seems like a problem of semantics, because you could say you are a student and live in a certain place and then you wouldn't be describing yourself by what you do and have, or would you?

I dunno why I'm posting (Well, one of the reasons is that I need to practice my English, and it's difficult to find situations to use it outside the classroom), but thought it was an interesting yet confusing idea and wanted to know what others thought of it, I guess.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, my English would benefit a lot from me checking for typos xD
I kept thinking*

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[morieris]

We were talking about the same thing in class...I think defining ourselves by what we have is somewhat okay, because there's a good chance that what you have hints at your personality,but by what we do is far more important to how we define "self".

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[murderershair.livejournal.com]

I feel like it depends on the job- I mean, if you self-define as an artist, even if you're not employed (in that field or elsewhere), you can still define as an artist, and people do. I always thought defining by your job was more about abilities that you're proud of- I don't know a lot of people who define as "I am an employee of x company".

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[(Anonymous)]

I am a female. I am X years old. I am human. I am funny. I am excitable.

Describing what you are (occupation, wife, etc) and what you have (husband, house owner, etc) is not describing you.

In a way it is about semantics, but in another way it's about philosophy of life and how you are viewing self and world. I think the way you choose to describe self is very telling to your own psychology. It really shows how you view your self and what you value about your self.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[(Anonymous)]

Being a student is still something you do, and living in a certain place is a description of what you have (living space/citizenship in a nation).

What's left, I believe, would be definitions self by way of what you, personally, are--blue-eyed, female, gay, or similar.

It's kind of a terrible way to define yourself, in that it removes the sense of community inherent to belonging to a group.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[dethtoll]

Maybe it's not what we do that defines us, but what we aspire to do. Just because someone's a waiter doesn't mean that's all he is -- he's probably also a jazz player on Friday nights. And maybe that's what he wants to do -- become a famous jazz player.

Or maybe the question is better framed by asking whether what we do is to pay the bills or because we actually want to do it.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[morieris]

That's kind of what Sarte mentions if I remember correctly - who we are is more about the future than the past.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[anonymouslyyours]

I don't think much of it. If your job is a chosen career and not something you are doing just to make a living I especially don't see what the issue is.

People spend a majority of their lives at their jobs and when you identify your job to other people it gives them an impression of your skills, interests, and a look into what part of the world you spend the most time interacting with.

You can go around describing your feelings about things as a way to introduce yourself to people but that is subjective and unclear especially if people don't have or don't share your personal reference.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[(Anonymous)]

"But then I kept thing, if we can't define ourselves by what we do ... then what would be left?"

The things you believe in. The things you feel. The things you love and hate.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[(Anonymous)]

Probably because I'm a capitalist pig, I'd find all that information a big overshare if I was meeting someone for the first time. Frankly, when I meet someone, I want to know that they are studying X thing, working at X place, writing X novel. I don't care if they believe in an afterlife or hard work or love whoever or despise cheese. I don't think I'm wrong in thinking that a lot of that sort of information would either be useless or a faux pas as a conversational starting point.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[childings.livejournal.com]

I don't see the problem with defining yourself by what you do (whether it's your hobbies or a job you really enjoy)

Defining yourself in relation to another person (saying that you are the daughter of x, wife of x, etc.) has more of a negative connotation to me personally.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[maverickz3r0]

Sign of capitalism nothing. Maybe it is, maybe it's not, but it's not inherently wrong.

How you define yourself does say something about you--because it's what you see yourself as, regardless of what it is. If you define yourself by including your job, or your major, or your hobbies, then obviously those things are important to you and should be included in the definition.

Sounds to me like one of those people who think that all labels should be taken off people and that we should use longer phrases that boil down to the exact same thing.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[(Anonymous)]

I found the "wrong" part odd too. Especially when talking about psychology or philosophy which are grey areas where there is no real absolute right or wrong. There is negative and positive, helpful and unhelpful, but no wrong.

op

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, great responses!
And many things I haven't even thought about.

Being kind of unable to realize I need more "I *am*" (although as I say English is not my first language, I'm trying not to get lost in translation here) says a lot about me, doesn't it?

I hate holidays, because after a couple weeks without having specific stuff to do (I don't have a job) I start to feel empty, and by the end of them I'm usually starting to feel kind of suicidal. Yup, I guess I do define myself by what I do and have.

(LOL sorry for the wall of introspective, boring text)

Re: op

[dethtoll]

Your English is pretty good. I'd say it's hyperbolic to say it's better than a native speaker, but unfortunately a sizable portion of native speakers give out nothing but word salad.

Re: op

[(Anonymous)]

Your English is very good actually! Especially to be able to express yourself and understand others with such vague confusing topics such as sense of self!

Re: op - english

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks! :D

I'm cheating a bit because I have spell check on my browser, but well, it's nice to be able to write things outside the class "compositions".

And I'm taking an English exam this December that I expect to pass and hope to do so with a good grade, so practice is great! (Cambridge Proficiency, if you are curious)

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[(Anonymous)]

If it's apparently a sign of capitalism, then I'd be interested in seeing examples from non-capitalist cultures/societies, of how those people describe themselves.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[rosehiptea]

That is interesting. I'm not entirely sure I agree it's a sign of capitalism but I see her point.

What would be left? Gender, religion (but not everybody has a religion and gender isn't a constant concept for some people either)... ethnicity, nationality. But it's not really encouraged in U.S. society at least to describe yourself with your religion and ethnicity is a tricky thing too.

Someone once told me that where she lived (Germany) people don't ask you what you do for a living right away but in America they do. I found that interesting too.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[(Anonymous)]

I studied this in social psych in college. It was to point out the difference between individualistic cultures and collectivist cultures.

If you asked someone in an individualistic culture such as the USA to describe themselves, they would be more likely to say things like: I'm an architect, I have a dog named Spot, I drive a Lexus, I have a quirk that's unique to me-- they would tell you the things that differentiate them from everyone else.

If you asked someone in a collectivist culture such as Japan to describe themselves, they would be more likely to say things like: I'm Japanese, I'm a graduate of X university, I'm an employee of Y organization, I belong to a group who does hobby X-- they would tell you which groups they fall into and which social circles they're a part of.

Neither is better or worse, only different.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think defining yourself is inherently a sign of capitalism. Even people in non-capitalistic cultures/societies will define themselves somehow usually. For example, a lot of people, in all cultures, will define themselves by their job, or role, in society. 'I am a carpenter' or 'I am bookkeeper.'

I also don't think it's inherently a *bad* thing to define yourself, ab long as you don't strap yourself so strongly to one definition that you can't be flexible enough to change if, or when, it happens.

As for how else you can define yourself...by what you believe in. 'I am pro-choice/pro-life' for example.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[greenvelvetcake]

The parameters of how you define yourself - and others - seems, in itself, a definition of yourself.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[stainless]

I'm very leery of people who criticize how others define themselves.

A lot of my self-definitions probably wouldn't make sense to people though, so I don't share most of them.

Re: What are we? (Describing the self) (heh, what a subject line)

[inkdust]

I love thinking about ways to define the self. I like to find new ones. But I often consider what I want - not material things, mind - what I'm afraid of, what makes me feel good. I think a lot about the things that have happened to me, because I believe that to a large extent we are what we have experienced. Of course those ideas are rarely simple to put into words. I also like to consider my flaws, because I think many people try not to include them. When I create characters sometimes the strongest aspects to me are their flaws. That's a tangent, but those are my two or more cents.