fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2157 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2157 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

[2 Broke Girls]

__________________________________________________

03.

[Love Actually]

__________________________________________________

04.

[Me and My Dick]

__________________________________________________

05.

[Journey Into Mystery]

__________________________________________________

06.

[cracked.com]

__________________________________________________

07.

[Ryan Kwanten/L4D2]

__________________________________________________

08.

[Whispering Corridors, Memento Mori, The Wishing Stairs]

__________________________________________________

09.

[The Walking Dead (game)]

__________________________________________________

10.

[Kuragehime]

__________________________________________________

11.

[Thor]

__________________________________________________

12.

[Bartimaeus]

__________________________________________________

13.

[The Sentinel]

__________________________________________________

14.

[The Mentalist and The Addams Family]

__________________________________________________

15.

[Skyfall]

__________________________________________________

16.

[Generator Rex]

__________________________________________________

17.

[Partners]

__________________________________________________

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #308.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I am actually not familiar with a single fandom in today's batch. =( The only character I know is Loki but it's not an incarnation of him I'm familiar with (and it's just boring Loki wankbait.)

Anybody know any good jokes?

knock knock

who is it

the grim reaper

D:

death is no joke

A man is walking through a shtetl(a small Jewish town)'s main street, passing the shops. In the cobbler's store window, there's a pair of shoes. In the baker's window, there are loaves of bread. But at the Mohel(a person who performs the "bris mila", or ritual circumcision)'s place, there's a clock displayed behind his window.

The man is so surprised by seeing a clock there that he walks into the store and asks the Mohel why he's displaying a clock.

The Mohel looks at him as if he's the biggest idiot in the world. "Nu, what I am supposed to put there?"

I don't know any jokes, but: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQvQqw1j8vk

~~I will marry that man one day...~~

JON RICHARDSON.

Ok. Sorry. I love him as well!

*fist bump*

I recognize 9.5/17 today. It's a good fs day for me :>

I don't know how to tell jokes :<

So this priest dies, and he goes to Heaven. But because that day there had been a lot more people dying than usual, he has to wait in line to see the gatekeeper of Heaven. In line in front of him is this loud, obnoxious guy wearing a really flashy shirt and oversized sunglasses. When he gets up to the gates, the angel asks him, "What was your name and occupation while you were alive?"

The obnoxious guy answers, "My name was Vinny DeLuca, I was a taxi driver in New York City."

The angel checks his list of names, smiles, and turns back to the man. "Please take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

Then, it was the priest's turn. "What was your name and occupation while you were alive?" the angel asks.

"My name was Bryan O'Malley. I was the priest of St. Mary's parish for forty years."

The angel checks his list of names, smiles, and turns back to the priest. "Please take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

Now, the priest is confused and a little bit angry. "What is going on? I have faithfully served the Lord my entire life! That man was a taxi driver! Why do I get the cotton robe and wooden staff?"

The angel laughs. "Up here, Father, we work by results. While you prayed, people napped. While he drove, people prayed!"

+1

I like this!

There's a magic phrase I once heard. No, really. It's a tried-and-true way to make yourself smarter - all you need is a clear space.

First, stand and face front. This is important, although is doesn't matter what "front" is.

Next, stand on one leg. It's okay to brace yourself on something, or hold your leg up with your hands.

Got that? Okay, now raise your arms (or one arm if you're holding your leg) above your head. Really stretch. Try to touch the ceiling.

Hold that pose, and repeat after me: "Ohwah. Tahgoo. Si-yam."

Keep repeating that, faster and faster. I swear on my mother's grave that this will make you wiser; it worked for me when I tried it.

You'll know when to stop repeating the phrase: you'll be able to feel the trick work. Let me know what you'll do with your newfound wisdom!

over tax 'em?

Uh... I'm not sure I understand what you mean, sorry.

o

trying to figure out the punchline

guess that's so not it :(

Try out the trick. You'll figure it out eventually.

over to go see 'em?

No....

Are you standing on one leg and holding your arms above your head? If you're not, that should definitely help.

If you're already doing that, I suggest getting another person to try it with you. Sometimes the trick works better in larger groups.

Re: f!s JOKE THREAD

(Anonymous) - 2012-11-29 02:07 (UTC) - Expand

inkmage - 2012-11-29 02:11 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2012-11-29 04:25 (UTC) - Expand

inkmage - 2012-11-29 06:05 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2012-11-29 06:52 (UTC) - Expand

5-Second Films do visual gags, but this seems appropriate for the thread: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9I66QvKMXA

"first imma need a prop..."

this better be good...

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde are on the run from the cops across some large, bare farm fields. They spot a barn in the distance and get inside, but the brunette can tell that they don't have much time before the cops catch up to them. She spots some burlap sacks on the ground and quickly yells at the other two to hide inside the sacks.

The cops burst into the barn a few minutes later. An officer goes up to one of the burlap sacks and kicks it hard. The brunette inside calls out, "Woof! Woof!" The sergeant gets upset and says, "Stop kicking that sack, you moron -- there's some poor dog in there!"

The officer turns to another bag and kicks it. The redhead inside calls out, "Meow! Meeeeow!" The sergeant shouts, "What are you, some kind of animal abuser?! Leave that cat alone!"

The officer glares, turns to the final sack, and kicks it. The blonde inside calls out, "Potato! Potato!"

Knock knock

Who's there?

To.

'To' who?

To whom.

/my favorite goddamn joke

^ grammar nazi's favorite joke

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

The wheelchair.

*groan*

lol